How do you spot a fetish adult dating site that actually delivers (apart from our own, of course)? Here's our essential guide on making your online kink dreams reality.


Spam is inevitable

Not many online daters have a webpage set up with a load of sexy pics and are willing to dish the URL out randomly. So this type of spam is a good indicator that the site is likely to be scammy and they’ll have few genuine members. Instead, it’ll be full of dead-eyed escorts, bored cam workers and various other people making a living in the sex trade. Fair enough, you're not willing to pay for your naughties, so that puts you right off.

sign up banner


A fetish dating site should be a vibrant community

The main point of departure for a good fetish dating site is that it makes you feel part of an alternative movement – not an outsider. You’ll find various, organised get-togethers on straight sites like Plenty of Fish, but these are of limited use to POF’s client base because your average pub is a vanilla meet-up anyway.

You can’t just arrive at your local pub in full rubber gear and hope to meet people like you. Quality sites like Fetlife are above all geared towards promoting the kinky community in particular, by getting people together in a mutually respectful atmosphere. A hectic social meet-up section on a fetish dating site can be great. So is an attentively moderated forum that gets people chatting. You can learn so much from just hanging around a well maintained kinky community site and lurking until you can’t contain yourself anymore.


Fetish adult dating woman with ball gag and bondage
The right fetish adult dating site can make your fantasy become reality.


Icebreakers are key

Communication is important to the BDSM lifestyle for all kinds of reasons. It generates a strong feeling of acceptance and gentle warnings. Additionally, it offers a chance to become part of the kinky community will always heighten your anticipation.

The term BDSM encompasses many categories. This means that fetish dating sites that include plenty of utility in their search functions are ideal. Sometimes it feels like you’re narrowing it down to practically two other people in the world. But this optimises your chances of getting it on with an ideal partner.

A user-friendly chat system is offered on any decent fetish adult dating site. Online one-to-ones are a secure way of spreading your wings and testing your limits, without the pressure of a face to face encounter. Sadly, fetishists don’t share a hive mind, so reaching out to the kinky community en mass is often best done online where there’s plenty of choices, and it stays impersonal initially.

Quality fetish adult dating

To get a perspective on a fetish adult dating site, check out the type of profile pictures on show, the forum discussions, and how easy it is to navigate around. The layout of a fetish dating site should include well-written text, great images and minimal ads (which are labelled as such). These should be positioned along a side-bar. No one likes clickbait.

If you can send out messages for free, then send loads and wait for what comes back. You don’t want to spend money communicating with people who are never online or can’t be bothered to reply. Some of the best fetish adult dating sites in terms of content, members, and privacy are free, so in the world of fetish dating don’t assume you get what you pay for.


Signup banner

What's your experience with fetish adult dating? Share your best and worst moments with us in the forum.

BDSM Forum. Join the discussion |

Images: via


1 comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



[…] – no complaints about that, it’s a subtle way of attracting attention and works well on Plenty of Fish […]

Share this comment

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BDSM Magazine

Similar discussions