Sex with Strangers: Getting it On Anonymously!

Is having sex with strangers one of your kinks? Or perhaps it's a fantasy you've yet to try? Victoria Blisse explains why casual sex and hook-ups can actually be good for you and shares her top safety tips for NSA stranger sex.

In 2022, Sinful ran a survey to find out the top ten fantasies of British people. Six*** per cent of women and 21% of men reported a desire for sex with strangers (including anonymous sex). Sadly, the report was simply binary but I'm sure that several people of all genders would like to indulge in casual play with someone they’ve only just met.

So, why are some kinksters into casual sex and how important is safety when it comes to having sex with strangers or someone you may have never met before hooking-up?

Sex with strangers: can start with a simple smile!

Why do some people like stranger sex?

It’s a hot fantasy for some, and a hotter reality for others, but some folks just don’t get the attraction of making out with a stranger. So, why is that?

1. Danger

The *** of discovery, being caught having sex in public or outdoors, and the unpredictability of what could happen is attractive to some... and well, scary AF for others.

2. Empowerment

Taking control of your pleasure and getting it in any way you can is a strong move. Just being a sexual being and using your body autonomy to make you happy is powerful, whether that’s in a one-night stand with a stranger or in a long-term relationship.

“Do kinky people have more sex with strangers? Well, that all depends on your definition of both 'sex' and 'stranger'.”

3. Naughtiness

Casual sex with strangers is still a bit of a taboo and is often frowned upon. Indeed, in many societies, an emotional connection is still what's expected before sex, and just fucking for the sake of it is seen by some as slutty. Well, we’re pro-slut here at FET, but heteronormative society often isn’t.

4. Pure pleasure

Dopamine flows when you engage in exciting behaviours, so getting to live out a fantasy involves a big jolt of happy brain chemicals... and that's before you even get to any orgasm!

In fact, if you're a fan of casual sex and one-night stands, you can use science to back-up your lust for nookie with unknown ***ps. A 2014 study of almost 400 students showed that indulging in sex with strangers is actually good for you, if you're that way inclined in the first place.

Fetish scene: sex with strangers

So, do you reckon kinksters like ourselves have more casual sex with strangers than the non-kink community? Well, I guess the answer to that also depends on your definition of both ‘sex’ and ‘stranger'!

People at fetish and kink clubs may indulge in NSA play with people they’ve only just met. That might involve sex of some kind – but not all kink play is necessarily sexual. Are they 'strangers'? Possibly. But they may have 'met' online or been in the same club for many different events.

“Is casual sex with strangers more dangerous than other types of sexual encounters? Well, it certainly has a number of risk factors you don’t need to think about with established partners.”

However, kinksters are more likely to try all kinds of different kinks and fetishes, as they’re less judgmental, more open-minded, and also have more opportunities to indulge in casual sex with a stranger.

Be aware of safety and consent when engaging in casual sex

Indeed, with swingers clubs, kink dungeons, dogging sites and cruising areas, there are many ways to hook up. And with a Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) at the fore, the experience is more likely to be informed, and therefore more safer.

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Safety: casual stranger sex

Speaking of safety, is having casual sex with strangers more dangerous than other types of sexual encounters? Well, it certainly has a number of risk factors you don’t need to think about with established partners or more conventional dates.

Whose place? Be mindful of where you’re going to have sex if you're meeting a stranger or someone you've only ever chatted to online. A hotel would be the safest option, but if you’re going back to yours or theirs, make sure someone you trust knows exactly where you’ll be. Consider sending a text to your bestie beforehand.
Arrange safety calls Get a friend to call you at a certain time or send a text message to let them know everything is OK. This way if you don’t contact them at a certain time you can be chased up.
Safe words It’s a given for most kinky interactions but a safeword should be in place for stranger sex too, so if it’s not going as you want you have a way to stop it.
How’s your mental health? You might think that having sex with someone you don’t know is the perfect way to get over a bad breakup or to give you a self-confidence boost. Think about how you will feel afterwards. Make sure you’re not doing something risky that will hurt you in the future.

Furthermore, practising safer sex should always be a consideration. Be prepared to go to a clinic for STI testing. Even if you use protection, if you're regularly enjoying casual hook-ups t’s a good idea to get checked every few months.

Finally, If you’re not totally comfortable with your behaviour or feel like you’re addicted to sex with strangers, contact a medical professional to talk about it. Our kinks and fetishes should be a source of happiness and confidence, not sadness.

The final FET: having sex with strangers

Casual sex and hook-ups with strangers can be a good way to boost the brain's happy chemicals, a sexy and naughty way to make a fantasy come true, and/or a positive way to boost your confidence. If you want to find someone into it as much as you are, add anonymous sex it to your kinks and fetishes list! •

Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.

Write all about your casual stranger sex fantasies in the FET forum or in the comments down below. Don’t be a stranger to your kinks and fantasies! Curious to discover what other fetishes you may have? Complete our kink test online today!