No sex please, we’re British…

[Pe****]

No, I’m not generalising… 🤣
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the expectations of others lately.
As a Brit who has come to terms with the fact that he ain’t getting any younger (and I’m ok with that, I truly am), I’ve realised that there is some expectation that engaging in kink, fetish, scenarios etc., will inevitably lead to sex.
There’s countless “DTF” posts on here everyday, but this isn’t really a hookup app in that sense, is it?
I use this app to forge connections, chat to people, make friends etc., and if that leads to an eventual meet IRL, it’s because we both see potential for something.
Why should that scenario lead to sex? I’m perfectly ok if it doesn’t.
I’d describe myself as a soft dom or a pleasure dom and dabble in the DDLG dynamic, because I have a tendency to prioritise others and care about their wellbeing. Very very rarely do I go beyond nurturing, teasing, praising etc., even though the dynamic we find ourselves in can be extremely arousing.
I’m not really asking a question here, I think I’m just putting my thoughts on the screen to try and make sense of them.
I see more and more posts from women about narcissistic guys who won’t take “no” for an answer and become threatening and aggressive, folk who are just looking for a NSA rough fuck etc etc, and I find it a little concerning that expectations don’t align.
I think a lot of us set boundaries and are upfront about expectations, but increasingly I see others throwing away caution, and I have issues with that.
If there’s a point to this jumble of words I’m typing, it’s probably “think twice, folks, and be safe”. Know what you want to get out of this app and stand by that.

[Lu****]

Lots of good points well raised.

I’m sure that others whose thoughts and ideas are more hardcore may not “get it” but as you suggest - you have to be true to yourself.

[Deleted Member]

In my experience I think that FemDoms tend to be more rare so male subs get excited and see me and my fellow FemDoms as kink dispensers. I go out of my way to state I'm looking for friends, yet I'm asked almost daily, "What are you looking for exactly?". Ummmm friends? Some also think bc we're on a Fetish site every topic is available ASAP, bc they are ready to discuss it, we must also be ready to discuss it. All I can do it state who I am, what I'm looking for unapologetically and treat those who ignore my boundaries accordingly.

[He****]

Rare is an understatement ! The white snow leopard is less elusive that you fem doms !
Anyway to your point…I think bc of the kinky nature or the app, men may feel a more justified in getting straight to the point. It’s no excuse for ignoring bounds however. As a fellow Brit - i’m sure we both know…you can’t teach class.

[Vi****]

I am so happy that you brought to the attention of the community. Relieved actually. This has been a huge issue for me.
As a new comer to the "Community Lifestyle" but not kinks themselves, I have hesitated writing a post. I really didn't want to be put in the position where I felt like I was "Scolding" the "O.G.'s" 😜
I had to "Check" a so called "Master" whom represented him and his wife as a couple looking for a female.
In my opinion I shouldn't have to address this disrespectful, creepy and disgusting approach of these guys.
Just because I am into kinks doesn't mean that I'm a Lady 1st & foremost.
I love how PeteNR2 wrote his post. I 100% agree. You said way more politely than I've been expressing mine 😂
I basically said that.. You are not my Master. I owe you nothing. You do not get to think, fantasize or speak about my pussy, cunt, your cock... Period. You should know better because you have been in the community for a long time.
Representing yourself and your wife as a couple looking for a single woman should not have a creepy, disrespectful or ***y vibe.
You don't get to speak to me anyway you want to in my messages. All this is.. is a conversation about what we're looking for on the app (if it's not made clear in bio) but until a contract signed between the parties and a sexual relationship has been established, you watch your thirsty ass mouth. 😬
I'm sorry not sorry but I have always had much respect for those in the "Lifestyle" I expect more of this community. The other dating apps are for emotionally unavailable cheaters and manipulators who use women have zero respect for a person's sexuality or boundaries. But not here.
I have not had an enjoyable experience so far. The first (single) Daddy Dom I spoke to and actually vibed with was great. Talked for hours. Then his wife called me at 3am calling me a whore. Her husband was serving a year in prison for *** and snuck a phone in to lead women on, I guess on the app from jail. 🤬 Absolutely absurd and infuriating.
Thanks for listening to my rant. 💋

[Da****]

Wednesday at 01:36 AM, AlluringSiren said:

In my experience I think that FemDoms tend to be more rare so male subs get excited and see me and my fellow FemDoms as kink dispensers. I go out of my way to state I'm looking for friends, yet I'm asked almost daily, "What are you looking for exactly?". Ummmm friends? Some also think bc we're on a Fetish site every topic is available ASAP, bc they are ready to discuss it, we must also be ready to discuss it. All I can do it state who I am, what I'm looking for unapologetically and treat those who ignore my boundaries accordingly.

It's pretty frustrating. Especially being asked the same question over and over again. Especially questions that you've answered on your profile. Like, give me a fucking break🙄🙄