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[Matty-3117]

Anyone have the best advice for a new Dom or sub would be greatly appreciated

[Deleted Member]

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[ey****]

the best advice is there's no one-size-fits-all solution.   If you're "new" and are before the point you even know what you want, the first steps is to kinda find out what you want.  What appeals to you? What do other people's relationships or dynamics look like and how does that fit in with what you would like?

This website has a magazine - read through.  Even the articles that don't seem like they're for you enriches your knowledge.

[J_****]

First bit of advice is try to avoid the kid in a candy shop behaviour. There's a whole world of kink out there and all of it will be intriguing. But it's far too easy to say, "I'll try anything once" without really understanding the implications.

Read, read, and read some more. Join forums. Talk to experienced folks in the lifestyle. But above all, approach with caution and trust your instincts. There are a lot of predators out there who will, I repeat..WILL use you for their own gain with no regards for your needs.

But at the same time there are a lot of good folks who have a lot of knowledge and wisdom and respect for fellow kinksters regardless of experience levels.

Start slow. Evaluate your needs and desires and negotiate boundaries regularly. You will find the more you experience and learn the more your boundaries will shift. You'll have more hard limits the more you learn. And that's okay.

But above all else, this is not a box ticking exercise. Kinky dating isn't a pick and mix of kinks and sexual interests. Just like any other dating, you need to establish a rapport, dialogue and trust with the folks you're talking with before jumping in the deep end.

And always be true to yourself. x

[Vandalslut]

19 hours ago, Matty-3117 said:

Anyone have the best advice for a new Dom or sub would be greatly appreciated

In this site, under 'Community' there is a list of kinks and fetishes, and a list of BDSM roles and archetypes. And has already been suggested, the magazine.  Not to mention past and present discussions.

 

3 hours ago, J_Darkmoon said:

 Start slow. 

...and keep it simple - at first.  Good luck.