My thoughts on why both parties benefit from femdom

[Deleted Member]

My thoughts on why both parties benefit from femdom , why both parties are in control, and why you should embrace it (if you want to!)

 

So, to address the elephant in the room, Femdom is all about the female dominating their partner - in the context of this article, their partner will be a man.

In this relationship, the man often gives up control to the woman, which would lead most people to think that she is in complete control, but there's a key word people often overlook; in a healthy Femdom relationship, be it casual or long-term, the submissive gives the domme control.

Once control is given it is, theoretically, just as easy to take back. Therefore, if a submissive gives control to their domme, they technically still have that control, since they're not giving it, they're suspending it.

This is why it's so important to build trust between the dominant and the submissive, because whilst there is of course the argument of whether or not the dominant could physically overpower the submissive...we live in a society where, in most situations, it doesn't come to that, and so we can disregard it.

Take me, for example. I am 6'2 and was 8 man when I played Rugby. To translate, that means I'm a big bloke.

I have quite literally picked girls up before and thrown them in the air (with their consent, of course) so the idea that a 5'1, 90lbs woman can actually *** me into a *** position without resorting to extortion (or proper training) is almost laughable. Not impossible by any means, but a little unrealistic.

That being said, she would be able to convince me into that position because I want to feel powerless for a period of time. I want to submit to her, and let someone else take control for a while when society and lifestyles *** me to be the one in command in the public eye.

This is, what I assume, to also be the appeal for the dominant - they love the rush that comes with making someone submit to you simply because you know that, deep down, they want you to be in control. I'm primarily a submissive, but I have switched in the past and even I have to admit that having someone give complete control because they trust you and they want you to be in charge of them is immensely flattering, and gives you one hell of a rush.

So why do I think Femdom is so common? Well, for centuries we have had the structure of "the man of the house" being in charge and whilst that is the case in many homes today - which isn't inherently a bad thing - society is still pushing for men to be the leaders and the ones in charge. It's shifting to a more equal stance which is perfect - not all men are leaders, and not all women are followers, so we should not use this as a standard for assigning control - but whilst many men and women accept this, it's still not the norm, and that is why Femdom is so prevalent.

Both men and women are finally able to entertain their inner desire to either gain or give control, even if just for a while.

 

This turned into more of a rant than expected, but to conclude, I don't think subs ever have no control over the situation. If anything, they have more control since consent is key; but the ability to entertain your desires to either give or take control in a sexually free environment is too great a pleasure for both dominants and submissives to miss out on.

So don't be afraid to give in to those desires, and don't feel like you're taking advantage of your partner, because remember: they want this too.

[Deleted Member]

Well said.

[ey****]

There's a lot of different reasons men get interested in Femdom.   Some is actually misogyny - that they ultimately see women as weak, lesser, whatever and so that it is somewhat 'taboo' or 'humiliating' to submit/etc by a woman.  (there's a lot of other prejudices circle in kink - but this could be a long and off topic)

But yep, there's a common trope of someone who is expected to be in control - expected to have control - wanting to give it up, even if it's just for a short space of time.

 

[Deleted Member]

Very good points well made Jd good topic!

[Lornasproperty]

Well said.  i think it is a lot to do in my case with being brought up to respect Women, that coupled with a pretty early realisation that Women hold the cards in the dating game.

Quite simply if you get laid on a night out it wasn't you who decided to have sex!

Add into this the 'Happy Wife Happy Life' philosophy and i don't understand why more men aren's submissive!