Time together

[co****]

This is why I prefer a friend with benefits relationship. I like to have a genuine friendship, go out and have fun with occasional casual sex

[At****]

I think its important to spend time with ur dom/sub outside of bedroom
Otherwise the experience will lost a big part of meaning

[Deleted Member]

Not at all needy. Some D/s are sexless, others are just sex. I prefer a ltr or fwb. Its whatever the Dom and sub agree on. If they cant agree, its time to move on.

[dr****]

That is not to much to ask for. Just depends on y’all’s dynamic

[ha****]

Definitely needed as long as sub is aware they will be treated the same
E in the bedroom and out

[vi****]

You should ask for and hold out for whatever you want. If someone finds that too needy, they aren't the one for you.

[Er****]

The whole point of being a dom is to create the world the sub wants (think leadership, instead of authoritarianism). At least that's my understanding of it, anyway. So if the world you need includes asexual activities, then your dom has a responsibility to either give you that, or release you.

[as****]

It would be great to do things other than sex makes it more interesting

[we****]

The Dom sub relationship is always there ready to come to the surface however you spend time together the real is friend lover submissive all in one

[Up****]

Not at all

[Laycette]

If they only dominate you in the bedroom, they are a top, not a dom. There is a big difference between an ongoing interpersonal dynamic and session-based play. The former is D/s, the latter is BnD.

[Ha****]

I say NO... but I'm looking to meet someone that understands and wants a kink lifestyle... once I check that box I'm looking for someone I can do the rest of life with.
I guess maybe the question is, what are/did you "sign up" for...

[Mr****]

You know the answer to that. If you're not getting what you need it's ok to look elsewhere. You only have one life.

[Co****]

I suppose it depends on the dynamic agreed before you find your Dom. I personally can combine the two as I find we are all people underneath our kinks. But some people just want a bed room dynamic only. I am also fine with that, again it depends what is agreed, the whole point of the kink lifestyle is no rules....

[Ch****]

Not at all!. There is playtime and there is time you should be treated like a princess andd spoiled. There are at least 2 sides to all of us...

[PL****]

Yesterday at 02:46 AM, Airborneambition said:

After care is important to repair and return to safety with your partner.

If you’re looking to actually bring your Dom/Sub playground relationship into these other parts of your life, communicate openly and consider leaving cues like a specific cup you are going to drink out of when you want to be dominated, a position you’ll sit in to get their attention, etc… from there, maybe your Dom can establish some rules and funishments for breaking them. It doesn’t have to be sexual. It could be a time out, sending you to sit on the floor, making you demonstrate submission in some other way.

It’s all about communication. When you two figure out the rules, rewards and consequences, the power dynamic can absolutely be brought out of the bedroom.

This being said, consent is key. If they just want a break, Thats ok too.

I love that you point out how the sub/dom relationship can be brought out of the bedroom. However, I would also love to interject a difference in perspective by stating that you can also be a sub in just the bedroom and have a different relationship outside of the bedroom. I myself was a bedroom-only sub and very independent without that same dominance outside of the bedroom for 17 years to one dom. And being in the lifestyle for 26 years each serious relationship I have had has been different based on each other's needs. I have never been a full-time sub, (though I'd consider it) it's about you and your partner's needs.

[ph****]

I agree it matters what the dynamic is. Even vanilla relationships range on dynamics. If non sexual bonding is something you want and you're dom doesn't, you might both have different expectations. Establishing boundaries around your consented bedroom dynamic does put into motion whether or not compromise or dissolution can be reached to share your dom/sub relationship.

[Deleted Member]

Not at all. The more time spent together the better as far as I’m concerned. Having said that o do need my alone time once in a while, and so do you probably.

[my****]

It depends on your relationship. Are you a toy for their amusement and nothing more? Are you in a relationship where you are a part of their lives?

Me, I want a relationship that to the outside world appears to be partners and friends but when I let her know through word or deed, she is expected to submit fully. Otherwise,a “normal” relationship.

[Deleted Member]

I would hope so

[Mr****]

I second @mythicalman's statement. Discuss and come to consensus. Otherwise, you're setting up a position of internalized brewing emotion, and that can lead to simultaneous codependency and feeling of isolation when deprived. If the discussion is never had, a secure dynamic is much harder to achieve.

[mf****]

All depends on the dynamic of the relationship

[ke****]

All I know is if you want to get a man at his most honest, hit him up directly after sex.

[ca****]

Depends on relationship, be nicetreat ppl well it's about trust not fking with ppl. Gentle calmness and restraint. I think eating or chilling is great if both are into it and isn't pushing intimacy boundary other isn't ready for XO just b nice