Dom types

[Wondering1]

Are there different types of Doms? What makes them different? I am new and most of my interactions end up feeling like I am in the Dominant role.

[AKA_Copper]

Yes there are. Their individuality makes them different.

[Sq****]

There are many times of doms. Their approach or the strategy they utilize, how it's themed.
If you're running into this issue then there's probably more communication that needs to be done on what you want and what they're capable of.
If that's not the case then perhaps you may need to vet better.

[Al****]

Just as there are different people, there are different Doms. Listen to the advice given in this topic

[ia****]

Yes. You might be like me. I am dominant in life so it follows that I act dominant in the bedroom. Lol I'm just a control freak

[Va****]

It's not only the Dom that makes a Dom, it's the Sub that makes the Dom/Sub dynamic as well. Both need to be on alignment.

[de****]

Different flavor for different people. If your naturally dominant and you feel like the domme, maybe you need a hard dom. Start by putting out what you want, then go from there. Happy hunting

[jo****]

I am what is loosely defined as a “pleasure Dom,” which, loosely defined, means that my focus is on meeting my sub’s needs over my own. If you are a masochist, I am a sadist (within reason; I suck as a hard sadist). If you are a rope bunny, I am a rigger ( which I really enjoy). If you are a slave, I am a master. Pet? Owner. Prey? Predator.


Granted, I am probably only 80-90% of most of these roles, but I learn,constantly, from my subs, new ways to dominate.

[pe****]

My question is do you like the dom role? If not look for another dynamic. Not everyone that is dominant outside likes to be that was inside the bedroom. Further more, you don't have to be just one side or the other. That is why switches exist! At the end of the day it is what makes you happy, be true to that and find someone that compliments it. Best of luck!

[Ma****]

I'm going to buck the trend here, and go with "no, not really". Of course every person is different - and every pair of people interacts differently. But much of what these answers address are differences in preference or behaviour. Does that make them a different type of Dom?

Not really.

But the descriptions can still be useful without being categorical - especially when it comes to someone adapting their behaviour or interests, to focus on mutual interests. Such descriptions include Daddy Dom, or pleasure Dom - neither of which is a distinct role, just a reference to the way they tend to approach that role.

The real differences will be found in the person, and how honest they are about their behaviour. Calling one's self a Daddy Dom doesn't matter if that consideration and nurturing nature are missing - but since personal taste on the exact approach can be more important...bottom line is, you need to get to know the person.

A description like Daddy might encourage you to take the time to get to know them, or pass them by. But you will still need to decide if the description is accurate, and if that person suits you in that way - or not. A sadistic "Daddy" is unlikely to fit on either count...but could be a dream come true for the right little.

[Ma****]

I believe in the distinct roles of sub and Dom, Master and slave, Top and bottom (alongside the very different switch). These give a clear indication of their perspective on D/s - but even so can only give a very vague indication of potential compatibility in complementary roles.

When personal preference is far greater than the difference between "types", the "type" probably doesn't make a useful or significant distinction. And the same person could probably adjust to different "types", in different circumstances, anyway...making it even more nebulous...

[In****]

Yes, there are different. Definitely different types of DOM,S so you find yourself in that role do you wanna be in that role or do you want to be submissive Message me let’s chstb

[Ma****]

I agree with a lot of what MastrPaul says but with additional context. There are definitely different submissive types. There are slave, little, brat, service and masochist.

This is where when the Dom and sub begin their journey they have to figure what best suits their personal preference when together. Me personally I characterize myself as an Alpha Dom, which means I like control all the time and assume the Alpha persona all the time, but not in a degrading or demeaning way. I tend to work with subs who are masochist, slave and brats. Where discipline and total control with total power exchange are required.

[Daddybrains]

Many BDSM practices include acts of domination. Dominant acts take many forms and use various tools and techniques. Some people identify as “dominant” and, because they are just people, they have preferences and skill levels with the tools and techniques and practices. So, yes, different kinds of Doms but those categories are artificial, for convenience.

You can separate out top/bottom, and master/slave, and dominant/submissive, and sexual/asexual, and nurturing/demeaning, and lifestyle/roleplay, and mental/physical, and so many other aspects, into their own spectrums for every Dom.

Most importantly: if you don’t fit another person’s definition of dominant, but feel dominant, then you and that person are incompatible. It’s a compatibility problem not an identity problem.

[Ma****]

Go to submissiveguide.com and read about Ds relationships. It's a free and easy to navigate site that I found is a good basic information source!
The types of Dom's is as different as the types of people!!!

[Da****]

So a bit of cereal box psychology, but it's helped me keep things clear. Generally in the context of relationships, a Dominant is someone who says "Things are better off when I make the decisions" and a submissive is someone who says "Things are better off when someone else makes the decisions". 

Having made it into those two general buckets, the expression of what that looks like depends on why the Dominant feels that way. A lot of Doms are protecting themselves and making sure they get what they want out of life. That control then tends to come out in the harder expressions of BDSM (but NOT always). I use the completely unofficial term "Hard Doms" to group folks like Sadists and Master types here. Typically their expression of control needs to be more complete, but that doesn't mean they aren't loving, committed, or genuine. It's just an expression of control that helps make the relationship (and maybe the world) make sense.

The other group typically wants to control things as a way to be more protective. I refer to these as my equally unscientific term of "Soft Dom". This can be the Pleasure Dom or Daddy Dom type, but NOT ALWAYS. Again, they are exerting great amounts of control and dominance, but it's just coming from a place that needs to keep it in line for everyone's protection (usually). These folks are also sometimes found in the ranks of the Sadists and Owner/Masters so this is NOT a hard rule.

The point is that the expression of control and the DYNAMIC that gives structure to the relationship is an expression of the person and their needs. It's often why dating in a Kink forward relationship can feel more revealing about who we are than almost any other form of dating. It exposes a lot of our needs and neuroses in ways we don't in any other forum.

Apologies for the long winded and rambling pop-psychology answer to your question. I'm sure folks will share a ton of exceptions and people who don't QUITE fit my broad brush approach. Of course there are exceptions. That's exactly my point. Doms are about finding the dynamic that suits their need to express control over their world and their relationship with someone who desires to be the complement to that need as well.

I hope that helps in some way.

[ey****]

Short answer : yes

slightly longer - there are folks who have different kinda views and some like to pigeonhole people into their own little hole.

So as a catchall (haha) there's activities, roles, behaviours which are deemed to be "left of the slash" and this would include Dominant, Master, Daddy, Mommy, Sadist, Top, Rigger, Brat Tamer, so on so forth - and so there's a lot of different types and styles where someone might feel they fit in.   Then "right of the slash" you have stuff like your submissive, slave, bottom, little, brat, masochist, pleasure dom, etc etc etc etc

And some of these terms are more interchangeable than others depending on which coat fits you best - and others do have distinct styles 

[Su****]

6 hours ago, iamqueenoswords said:

Yes. You might be like me. I am dominant in life so it follows that I act dominant in the bedroom. Lol I'm just a control freak

I'm the boss all day.. and get that same reaction lol.. I'm submissive in the bedroom and in the house. The right Sir will get the treatment 24/7 though

[Gi****]

Learning lots!

[Wondering1]

I guess i was trying to figure out if there are sub classes that are necessarily the dynamic explanation

[Deleted Member]

Yes. Others have labeled the main roles. Doms come in all shapes and sizes. Some are Sirs, and some are Daddy’s, and everything inbetween. Some are pleasure doms, some sadists. Not mutually exclusive. How they identify tells a lot about their Dom style and what you can expect from them. Then there’s switches. Some people stick hard and fast to their roles. Many people adapt to their partners’ needs within those roles. Sometimes you think you’re something, or them, and next thing, a ‘Dom’ wants you to peg them and they’re calling you mummy or a sub’s demanding power and control. Are they a Dom/sub? Each to their own. It’s about what works for you. The roles and labels give some insight. There’s common rules and expectations, but we’re all individuals.

[Wondering1]

Are there any sub categories of Mom's? I mean after from the master/slave type descriptions

[Wondering1]

Just now, Wondering1 said:

Are there any sub categories of Mom's? I mean after from the master/slave type descriptions

Doms not mom's, damn autocorrect

[Wondering1]

On 12/4/2025 at 7:05 AM, iamqueenoswords said:

Yes. You might be like me. I am dominant in life so it follows that I act dominant in the bedroom. Lol I'm just a control freak

I end up want the opposite in the bedroom a good bit of the time. Like I'm responsible for the complete life of 5 people, I just need to be able to turn it off some times and trust someone to take me somewhere amazing.

[Wondering1]

On 12/4/2025 at 11:22 AM, DaddyforPrincess said:

So a bit of cereal box psychology, but it's helped me keep things clear. Generally in the context of relationships, a Dominant is someone who says "Things are better off when I make the decisions" and a submissive is someone who says "Things are better off when someone else makes the decisions". 

Having made it into those two general buckets, the expression of what that looks like depends on why the Dominant feels that way. A lot of Doms are protecting themselves and making sure they get what they want out of life. That control then tends to come out in the harder expressions of BDSM (but NOT always). I use the completely unofficial term "Hard Doms" to group folks like Sadists and Master types here. Typically their expression of control needs to be more complete, but that doesn't mean they aren't loving, committed, or genuine. It's just an expression of control that helps make the relationship (and maybe the world) make sense.

The other group typically wants to control things as a way to be more protective. I refer to these as my equally unscientific term of "Soft Dom". This can be the Pleasure Dom or Daddy Dom type, but NOT ALWAYS. Again, they are exerting great amounts of control and dominance, but it's just coming from a place that needs to keep it in line for everyone's protection (usually). These folks are also sometimes found in the ranks of the Sadists and Owner/Masters so this is NOT a hard rule.

The point is that the expression of control and the DYNAMIC that gives structure to the relationship is an expression of the person and their needs. It's often why dating in a Kink forward relationship can feel more revealing about who we are than almost any other form of dating. It exposes a lot of our needs and neuroses in ways we don't in any other forum.

Apologies for the long winded and rambling pop-psychology answer to your question. I'm sure folks will share a ton of exceptions and people who don't QUITE fit my broad brush approach. Of course there are exceptions. That's exactly my point. Doms are about finding the dynamic that suits their need to express control over their world and their relationship with someone who desires to be the complement to that need as well.

I hope that helps in some way.

This does help alot. It helps me figure out some of the Dom/sub characteristics I have. One problem I seem to run into is most of the Doms I have run into, so to speak, want me to isolate myself while I am getting to know them and my Dom side immediately has issue with that. Suggestions on how to avoid this problem?