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Dom types


Wondering1

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It seems to me, and I say this as feed back meant to help you grow. That maybe you can’t fully let go, i personally find it very difficult. As a result I tend to lean soft/pleasure dom. I’ve done some impact play and seen that older femmes don’t let go so easy in terms of submmiting . I trust you’ll find the right dom, good luck
I would suggest that expecting you to isolate BEFORE any relationship or commitment is reached, is a huge warning sign. It indicates an insecurity, and more of a control freak attitude than genuine dominance. Might be valid closer to reaching the point of starting a relationship (submitting to them), but at the getting to know stage, they probably realise they're just pretending, and a real Dom would really highlight their inadequacies.

Rejecting that behaviour is not a Dom thing - nor something to avoid, just avoid the idiots who make unreasonable demands. your submission is more precious than they deserve - there's no reason for you to be a doormat for every pretender, player or predator to walk over.
11 hours ago, Wondering1 said:

I end up want the opposite in the bedroom a good bit of the time. Like I'm responsible for the complete life of 5 people, I just need to be able to turn it off some times and trust someone to take me somewhere amazing.

I am technically a switch with those 8 know and trust but I put "Domme" only on my profile because I am over the toxic fake Dom aggressive DMs I get. I feel much like that- that I want to me little and taken care of and brat and play. But when I'm with a newer or just plain shitty dom- all I can think about is how much better I could do as a dom in a given scene

I generally identify as a soft Dom, a hard Dom is generally more about the discipline and ritual along with a slant towards inflicting *** and/or ***.
I think you're Dominant or not. How far you take it, is up to you and the sub to agree upon. Whether that constitutes different types of Doms, no idea. Does it really matter?
On 12/7/2025 at 9:51 AM, FrankJ1984 said:

I think you're Dominant or not. How far you take it, is up to you and the sub to agree upon. Whether that constitutes different types of Doms, no idea. Does it really matter?

I was hoping the type would help me figure out how to figure out what i am looking for better. 

A good Dom will work on what you want and respectful widening your horizons and learn from your body and reactions. It doesn't have to end up or go to ***/outside the bedroom rules.

I'm actually more of a switch than a Dom personally I think, I just get put in Dom mode by popular demand most often. 😂

If I may, I am a 'soft' Dom, the criteria being: how does one manifest their dominion over their submissive? For me this entails everything but impact. Of course there is sexual aggression play still but I truly believe that that is again a different instrument in the orchestra. In order for my partner to submit all that she is, she must feel safe and absolutely protected. For the things I demand of her are things extreme, I dominate my partner by using her own desire. I was once told by a submissive that there was no way I could just take what I wanted from her, that she would fight. I told her I don't want it if I must take it. As a submissive, their kink is to respond to alpha energy. I told her, yes, I will have what I wanted from her. No *** will be needed. She did not think it true. I just let that alone and let it percolate, about 5 to 7 days later, she was pleading.

dinsdag om 00:36, Wondering1 said:

I was hoping the type would help me figure out how to figure out what i am looking for better. 

Well, what do you want from a Dom? Regular playtime? 24/7 submission? ***, ropes, ***?

  • 1 month later...

My journey into the world of ENM - open and honest sexual expression, had some powerful and unexpected benefits for me. One was just stopping to examine what I really like. Turns out I am strongly dominant - specifically a pleasure dom.

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