Dominant men who want to submit

[li****]

So occasionally I receive messages by dominant men who want to try being dominated for the first time.
The thing is, if a man is interested in both dominance and submission, shouldn't the profile reflect that and, accordingly, he should give himself the label switch?
I might be wrong. But I can't shake the feeling that they want to keep a facade with the attributes that are usually associated with masculinity while keeping their real preferences (or at least part of them) in the down-low.
It doesn't help that they always ignore my profile where you can clearly see I'm not interested in session-based encounters. So my immediate reaction is to pass on them.
So question for the female dominants. How do you deal with dominant men who approach you with a request that completely contradicts their online persona? Do you ignore them or give them a chance? Have you ever taken a "dominant" man? If so, was it a good experience? I'm very interested in knowing about it.

[MD****]

Interesting post. If you are open to a male perspective please say so.

[li****]

4 minutes ago, MDQC said:

Interesting post. If you are open to a male perspective please say so.

Sure! I'd love to hear all perspectives

[Se****]

Constantly but majority are new to lifestyle and have no idea what being a dom or a sub means. But there is spectrum……. Switches etc. I have set up several meet n greets and they all failed to show. Noobs. Everyone has to start somewhere and either gender bails equally first time out the gate.

[Du****]

Ditto everything you’ve said. I get a lot of similar DMs; I point out the disparity between their request and their profile, and I decline to continue the chat. They say they just want to “try it”, and I point out they clearly haven’t read my profile because it states that I’m not here for that. Occasionally they admit to the exact feeling you describe, in which case I recommend revising their profiles with a little more honesty - but again, the conversation is inevitably over.

[Fl****]

I completely agree!!!

[co****]

I agree with you, they should be labeled as a switch. The reason being, switches aren't switches for everyone. I myself am a switch. I am only submissive for very few women. 90% of the time I am dominant. And I tell people that from the start. The last thing you want is a submissive woman in a position where her partner wants her to do.omate him, it just doesn't work. And the reverse doesn't either. So as a switch I look for both dominate and submissive women or other switches. But the problem comes when a switch wants to have their partner who isn't a switch be one.
So, of agree with you.

However, some men have never been submissive and and eager to try. I've been there. It's hard to say your submissive when you never have been to anyone. You're going to struggle at first to bottom for that person. They need to know going into it what your past and present are. So.i can see why they would label themselves as dominate and ask to submit, they are experimenting because they have this rumble in the chest telling them to do so.

[co****]

Yes in deed

[Bi****]

I want to experience being submissive so I can bring that experience into the bedroom to be better at being dom.

[li****]

7 minutes ago, coffeewithcream said:

I agree with you, they should be labeled as a switch. The reason being, switches aren't switches for everyone. I myself am a switch. I am only submissive for very few women. 90% of the time I am dominant. And I tell people that from the start. The last thing you want is a submissive woman in a position where her partner wants her to do.omate him, it just doesn't work. And the reverse doesn't either. So as a switch I look for both dominate and submissive women or other switches. But the problem comes when a switch wants to have their partner who isn't a switch be one.
So, of agree with you.

However, some men have never been submissive and and eager to try. I've been there. It's hard to say your submissive when you never have been to anyone. You're going to struggle at first to bottom for that person. They need to know going into it what your past and present are. So.i can see why they would label themselves as dominate and ask to submit, they are experimenting because they have this rumble in the chest telling them to do so.

But for people who feel like they want to experiment... don't we have the label experimentalist?

[Illeatazz]

I don’t really see the issue ? or any why anything changes?

[Illeatazz]

2 minutes ago, Illeatazz said:

I don’t really see the issue ? or any why anything changes?

Understandable on the session based aspect tho ✅

[Mr****]

Get it… also me please

[se****]

As someone whose primarily been dominant but considers himself a switch and simply hasn't had a partner that wanted to assume the role yet, it could be a lack of experience with that side of themselves causing an issue.

Personally I could see there being some slips in the beginning as it moves into something new, but it would be clear pretty fast whether the desire was earnest or not.

Obviously the failing to read or flat out ignoring your expressed interest not only shows a lack of respect and should weed out the ones that are simply just trying to get laid.

[li****]

10 minutes ago, Illeatazz said:

I don’t really see the issue ? or any why anything changes?

I think I tried to do a good job at explaining why it might come across as hypocritical to present yourself as hyperdominant in public while actively seeking submission in private.

[Illeatazz]

24 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Ditto everything you’ve said. I get a lot of similar DMs; I point out the disparity between their request and their profile, and I decline to continue the chat. They say they just want to “try it”, and I point out they clearly haven’t read my profile because it states that I’m not here for that. Occasionally they admit to the exact feeling you describe, in which case I recommend revising their profiles with a little more honesty - but again, the conversation is inevitably over.

But take the same concept and switch the labels from Dom/sub to gay/straight would it even be up for debate? 🤷🏼‍♂️

[se****]

2 minutes ago, Illeatazz said:

But take the same concept and switch the labels from Dom/sub to gay/straight would it even be up for debate? 🤷🏼‍♂️

This is a very good way of describing it

[li****]

6 minutes ago, Illeatazz said:

But take the same concept and switch the labels from Dom/sub to gay/straight would it even be up for debate? 🤷🏼‍♂️

Yes. It'd be up for a huge debate, if I understand your analogy correctly. But I'd rather not distance myself very much from the original topic.

[MD****]

38 minutes ago, liliththedivine said:

Sure! I'd love to hear all perspectives

I think there is a missing middle ground.

The way I believe is that wanting to understand submission doesn’t automatically make someone “not dominant,” but how that exploration is approached matters a lot.

So, the mismatch itself would be the red flag for me personally.

How do you deal with it? Depends on how offensive the lie was, if slight I would correct once, if blatant lying or repeated ignored boundary, I stop communicating immediately (and forever). It's not worth teaching them how to lie to you, IMO.

I don't have a share for your other question.

[se****]

3 minutes ago, MDQC said:

I think there is a missing middle ground.

The way I believe is that wanting to understand submission doesn’t automatically make someone “not dominant,” but how that exploration is approached matters a lot.

So, the mismatch itself would be the red flag for me personally.

How do you deal with it? Depends on how offensive the lie was, if slight I would correct once, if blatant lying or repeated ignored boundary, I stop communicating immediately (and forever). It's not worth teaching them how to lie to you, IMO.

I don't have a share for your other question.

It's something that doesn't work at all without complete honesty from the beginning.

[Hoadsta]

Some Dominant men occasionally like to be submissive. But they Don't want to be in a long term dynamic. Most switch dynamics require being mutually open to being a switch.

[li****]

4 minutes ago, Hoadsta said:

Some Dominant men occasionally like to be submissive. But they Don't want to be in a long term dynamic. Most switch dynamics require being mutually open to being a switch.

I guess it all comes down to if they're able to be honest in public to having submitted or wanting to submit or not.

[Sq****]

Why would I label myself a switch if I haven't been submissive to even know if I enjoy it or even have experience in it? Curiousity doesn't define the "persona". You're entitled to respond and react as you wish, but I see many holes in the rationalizing of the public presentation angle.

[mo****]

Maybe it's men who are feeling weak at the moment and want someone to push them around.

[Wh****]

I initially had my profile written as a switch, but a lot of dommes consider that to be indecisive and are turned off by it. From my experience, if you want to get dominated, you need to go full sub and whore yourself out as a good boy. There's already a shortage of female dommes to male subs, so they're pretty picky and they will want to psychoanalyze you. You need to know what you want, explain why you want it, and be confident in your answers. Don't make your profile too unhinged, because you might turn off the soft dommes. Mine definitely needs to be toned down a bit. Either that, or be a really cocky dom, and hope that some domme wants to put you in your place and turn you into her bitch.