Dominant men who want to submit

[ps****]

10 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I suspect a real reason is if they're trying to pick up people; they know admission of an experiment is a turn-off.

Because women might be, ok, so I'm going to spend all this time and effort on you, on a relationship, on trying things you might like - only for you to then decide it's not for you and I've wasted my time.   This is honestly when (if you don't actually have any friends on the kink scene) paying a Pro is the best move, cos if it's not for you, you don't see her again and neither of you are unhappy with the arrangement.

But like, if you're active in a kink community discussing there's stuff you want to try with friends, there's often someone who will be "I will try it with you" - I mean, depending on what it is.  It's much easier for a friend to offer up her feet or to give a spanking than anything blatantly intimate.  

I think some men are kinda aware that presenting someone as being an experiment is a huge turn off. And then there's those too stupid to realise.

I guess this *is* something which is different for women cos if a woman said she was up to experiment there's plenty of men who would see it as an opportunity - but this isn't necessarily a good thing.   

100%. i offer a service that protects both my time and their time to help hold the hand of those looking to explore and find a gentle entry point to help learn how to find boundaries and language to communicate them and bravery to speak them. a lot of subs are nervous to waste our time too, and feel shame if they get an inkling that they are. as an ex sub (other than the odd very special occasion) who was dragged through *** after *** due to my lack of support in entering the scene, i feel i have lived experience of how to better support those desiring a more curious and respectful place for themselves. i also offer it as a gift to all dominants in the hope the standard of subs increases. its just difficult at times for these people to truly understand the value of the teachings offered. some get it, some call it g0ld digging. i call it a boundary with a gate.

[ps****]

8 minutes ago, sensins said:

Men can see maybe the most recent one, the rest are blocked on the free access

i see, i only see about five at a time i think, the others are blurred. i don’t pay pro

[co****]

2 hours ago, MistressLeFey said:

I have had MANY such encounters, and bring a student of humanity, I find it a fascinating place to explore. Sometimes they: secretly want to dominate you, think they want it but clearly don’t, are on a journey to explore their own submission which can be rocky, or have been ***d into a dominant role because of their gender/power/size but are secretly sweet little submissives at heart who are looking for someone who can see it. To cut to the chase (I never play with people I don’t know) I speak to them about normal things but as if they’re submissive. Call them boy for example. If they love it or hate it….you’ve pretty much got your answer.

The comment about size is a good one. I've been dominate in most of my relationships, however, I love being submissive. The issue is I'm built rather large and am very strong, so everyone sees me as dominate immediately. But I'm very happy on my knees worshipping a beautiful woman. However, most dominate women think I'll be a challenge and don't want to try. Hence why I've taken the path that I rarely submit or try to anymore, it seems to be a waste of my time and effort.
We need to normalize masculine male submissives. Not all of them are petite or feminine. That stigma is also a reason I'd argue many will only talk about it in private, not openly on their profiles.

[ey****]

5 hours ago, SapphireNight said:

Can a male Dominant truly let go & let her be in complete control ???

this is the big question

like, years ago there was a lot of discourse about switches, which still sometimes lingers. A lot of the Dommes who disliked switch men said the problems they had were (a) they felt they were being judged more than with those who were only subs (b) that the guy often tried to wrestle control, even though that's not what she signed up for (c) it was often felt that the guy couldn't be truly happy since he could only ever have one side of play from her (d) there was often hesitation for the man to let go because he wasn't as embraced into it

the general other issue is that when some of the Domme ladies at the time would raise this, some would just being "well a good Domme would make him submit" kinda thing, which was very gaslight-y but also had the issue that instead of permitting her to Dominate, instead of elevating her, it was presented as work - a challenge to solve, so on. 

Now. I aint saying this is true in all cases.  Of course not. But it was a common frustration that was talked about a lot at the time.  I think this is something where... I guess like anything the question for the Domme would be, is this someone I'd like to try something with? Or is the person just after anything they can get, even if it's wrong for them?

[579slave]

Honestly I have seen this alot in the comment section and I feel like they're just trying to flip the script, and make it about them, and about trying to control the relationship/dynamic. Whether to try to dominate a woman who says "no dominate men or i do not consent to being dominated" in their bio to just try to prove that your not really a dominate woman. Which to me is really disgusting because if im not mistaken isnt that a form of mental ***?

[Mi****]

I ignore them because of my safety. You dont know when they are going to snap back.
Some if them doing that if they get cougt on this app they can easily talk themself out of the situation.

[cl****]

December 29, 2025, eyemblacksheep said:

this is the big question

like, years ago there was a lot of discourse about switches, which still sometimes lingers. A lot of the Dommes who disliked switch men said the problems they had were (a) they felt they were being judged more than with those who were only subs (b) that the guy often tried to wrestle control, even though that's not what she signed up for (c) it was often felt that the guy couldn't be truly happy since he could only ever have one side of play from her (d) there was often hesitation for the man to let go because he wasn't as embraced into it

the general other issue is that when some of the Domme ladies at the time would raise this, some would just being "well a good Domme would make him submit" kinda thing, which was very gaslight-y but also had the issue that instead of permitting her to Dominate, instead of elevating her, it was presented as work - a challenge to solve, so on. 

Now. I aint saying this is true in all cases.  Of course not. But it was a common frustration that was talked about a lot at the time.  I think this is something where... I guess like anything the question for the Domme would be, is this someone I'd like to try something with? Or is the person just after anything they can get, even if it's wrong for them?

This is interesting. I used to consider exploring with switches but over time realise they dominate from the bottom. Subs do this as well, in other passive ways though tbh

[cl****]

I'm personally not interest in forcing domination on anyone or having that power play around identity. Its work on my side also

[MD****]

December 29, 2025, psybermamii said:

understandable, but we aren’t food for their void. they can go to therapy prior to dragging us through their shame and ***. they are starved for engagement because often their messaging style and communication sucks. zero questions of curiosity other than that around my body, usually. also, just quietly, what you are communicating here is basically just an illustration of exactly why @liliththedivine comment actually holds a lot of weight. they are outsourcing their power via their scarcity mindset, *** and lack of self accountability. not sure that screams dominance to me 😉abandoning one’s own boundaries is also not an act of dominant energy. these men don’t need more understanding from any of us. they need to pay a therapist rather than looking for a surface level escape to their *** usually constructed via inflicting it on another ‘consensually’ aka towards a femme sub with all the exact same ***s and anxieties that the dom should be holding informed and with care. which can only be done through their own personal work on themselves. sorry but i can’t jump on board this as a reasonable defence.

I agree, further, it's a fundamental issue, at some point spamming works and too many restrictions cost the platform subscribers, so both sides pay in one way or another.
Also, for anyone that wants to know what it's like for the otheside, just change your status and go ahead and see how quickly you decide that unwanted attention is not better (just different) than no attention. Or better yet instead of being jealous of people receiving interest, offer that what is interesting.

[ey****]

There's a couple of things I'll lean into

5 hours ago, MDQC said:

at some point spamming works

Yes, but rarely.    And there's a lot of people who will say they've been trying for weeks, months, years - and their approach isn't working. I guess when they talk about "lucky" some people who hit right with spamming maybe are, they sent a message at the right time - or so on.

If it ultimately worked we wouldn't have so many unhappy men because they'd all eventually crack the code with their repetitive low effort approach.

5 hours ago, MDQC said:

see how quickly you decide that unwanted attention is not better (just different) than no attention

A good rant I read a year or so ago, was from a woman who was fed up of men doing the "pretend to be a woman" thing (or "my wife gets lots of messages - lucky her!" thing) to see how many messages and what sort of messages they get - without ever actually finishing the experiment.

To really finish the experiment, the guy masquerading as a woman has to respond in a way they would expect women to treat them.  Send the messages back like "you're sweet but I'm not interested" or converse where there is conversation attempts - and then see where it goes, how many which started innocent become sexual or threatening in a short space of time, especially with a rejection

Elsewhere I have a profile people mistake for a woman - and the amount of times I get a message which just starts "wanna chat?" and I reply, "What about?" (because especially on that profile it's contextually important) and then get a reply which is "the things my dick would do to you" - one seemingly nice message to sexually threatening in two messages. 

[Ch****]

19 hours ago, MDQC said:

I agree, further, it's a fundamental issue, at some point spamming works and too many restrictions cost the platform subscribers, so both sides pay in one way or another.
Also, for anyone that wants to know what it's like for the otheside, just change your status and go ahead and see how quickly you decide that unwanted attention is not better (just different) than no attention. Or better yet instead of being jealous of people receiving interest, offer that what is interesting.

A guy would also get the same effect joining as gay, to feel what "unwanted" attention feels like. Especially if they aren't attracted to men. Science!! Lmao

[Bi****]

1 minute ago, Chaey said:

A guy would also get the same effect joining as gay, to feel what "unwanted" attention feels like. Especially if they aren't attracted to men. Science!! Lmao

No I'm bi and barely get any response from either sex

[Ch****]

2 minutes ago, Bidude_69 said:

No I'm bi and barely get any response from either sex

There's a weird stigma with bi men, from what I have observed. Especially at swinger events

[Bi****]

2 minutes ago, Chaey said:

There's a weird stigma with bi men, from what I have observed. Especially at swinger events

Yeah I've noticed and even worse when you're in a open marriage.

[ey****]

10 hours ago, Chaey said:

 

A guy would also get the same effect joining as gay, to feel what "unwanted" attention feels like. Especially if they aren't attracted to men. Science!! Lmao

I'm not sure. I do occassionally get messages from gay guys - and they're usually more respectful when I say I'm not interested. Usually. (compared to how I know straight guys react from rejection to people who are, or they think are, women) 

I guess this is something though, if a straight guy woke up tomorrow to 100 messages from gay guys - how, realistically, would he act?  Would he politely thank and no thank all 100... I doubt it. 

[we****]

“Who want to try being dominated for the first time?” … like, I don’t know, as a masculine cis whatever, man, and also someone for whom service and devotion and like submission, is important to me, this kinda… like

[we****]

(I guess I can’t edit my post) but, energetically that sounds like education at best and prostitution at worst. The question itself begets a misunderstanding that if it were me, would be hard to not take as insulting. Idk. I’m not a dominant woman and I’m upset for her. That’s probably pathological right there.