Ghosting VS Blocking

[ar****]

Even if id consider it possibly making that the whole focus is just idk... Ew-y

[Deleted Member]

I have wanted to write this post you did, not knowing how to phrase it. You did beautifully. This kind of blocking says more about them than you or I. Taking our voice away, erasing us. Vanilla or kink, it’s a problem. No recourse no resolution, just that feeling we try so hard to soothe and heal. Resilience.
I know exactly why they block me. What upsets me is this is discussed early on, clear boundaries… and one is do not block me without discussion!
I love these posts because people respond and some can become more aware of the impact of unilateral blocking ,maybe some even make a different decision next time they want to block, have a discussion first. Allow growth from understanding.
Here, I’m approached as my role, not my person. I think that makes it easier for them to put up a wall and block. I usually only block temporarily to set a boundary or self control. Also discussed early in chat.
Hurtful as it is, better to have that behaviour once and done; than experience it repeatedly from the same person. If your limits and boundaries aren’t respected, they’re no one you want or need. Distraction helps me cope. Positive actions that bring me joy.

[Ta****]

Ghosting is like giving your spouse the silent treatment. Blocking is like packing a bag and leaving town while they’re at work — important for potential victims in order to protect themselves, and even more important to bad guys, because it helps them avoid consequences for their actions. Depends on the app, but blocking usually limits 1. Access to the person’s info (anti-stalker protection) 2. The transcript of what was said (can’t even try to save your reputation from lies if they’ve blocked you from accessing the receipts) 3. The ability to use reporting functions (critically important if you’re the bad guy; still pretty important even if you’re the good guy. Lots of social media & dating apps’ reporting systems are automated poorly, buggy as hell, and deliberately impossible to appeal. In my experience, it’s easier to use reporting for harassment than it is to get justice against someone who actually did something worth reporting. So reporting is a great way to harass someone out of spite)

By the way, #2 & 3 are why you should get in the habit of recording all conversations with your employers: because they benefit from knowing they’re gonna screw you over before you do, so the conversation you most need a record of in a legal battle is usually the one that happened right before you realize you should have been recording.

[Ta****]

P.S. I’ve heard stories that people often block out of nowhere because they are catfishing, fantasizing, etc. They get the interaction they they were looking for, then block out of guilt/shame/to avoid getting caught. So if things were going REALLY well right before the block? Well…they might have, erm, finished. 😬

[au****]

1 hour ago, Tadhg said:

Ghosting is like giving your spouse the silent treatment. Blocking is like packing a bag and leaving town while they’re at work — important for potential victims in order to protect themselves, and even more important to bad guys, because it helps them avoid consequences for their actions. Depends on the app, but blocking usually limits 1. Access to the person’s info (anti-stalker protection) 2. The transcript of what was said (can’t even try to save your reputation from lies if they’ve blocked you from accessing the receipts) 3. The ability to use reporting functions (critically important if you’re the bad guy; still pretty important even if you’re the good guy. Lots of social media & dating apps’ reporting systems are automated poorly, buggy as hell, and deliberately impossible to appeal. In my experience, it’s easier to use reporting for harassment than it is to get justice against someone who actually did something worth reporting. So reporting is a great way to harass someone out of spite)

By the way, #2 & 3 are why you should get in the habit of recording all conversations with your employers: because they benefit from knowing they’re gonna screw you over before you do, so the conversation you most need a record of in a legal battle is usually the one that happened right before you realize you should have been recording.

Just wanted to chime in in regards to recording conversations…

First, I’m not a lawyer. I do have experience with this particular issue specifically because I assisted in transcribing phone calls regarding a lawsuit over this very issue.

In the United States the legality of doing this is dependent on the state. Minnesota is a one party consent state. Meaning if someone and myself were to be talking it would be legal for me to record it without their knowledge as I, being one of the two parties, consented to the recording. States like California are two party consent states. Meaning ALL parties involved in the conversation are required to consent to the recording. This is why when you call a toll free number you get that “This call may be recorded or monitored…”

If you record without consent in a two party consent state it will open yourself to liability.

[Slim-7-]

I find both to be immature. Saying you are not or no longer are interested should be you right to do so based on how the conversation goes. Everybody likes what they like and is not the others job to judge them for it. And if they can't accept that then blocking them at that point might be necessary. But ghosting should be unacceptable and I agree with magic Python there are what I find to be mostly fake profiles especially the ones that just say looking for LTR also you can start to see patterns with them as well. They are not looking to really meet and when it gets to a point it seems like you are they dissaper. I'm speaking from a guy's experience but would be willing to guess the scams running both ways on guys and girls. It's sad we have to deal with it. I also seem perplexed when I am both ghosted and blocked. Some blocking me after saying something simple like hello. Lol seems a bit rushed and harsh if you ask me. So that's the best I can say without having someone turn me in for my comments here which has happened a few times but that's another topic lol. Keep your chin up and chalk them up to fake or like uncleasura said Idi*ts.

[En****]

Right there with you.
Out of nowhere a male wl block me as if I would psycho stalk him. And ghosting, well, it is incredibly rude. Don't want to talk to me? Fine. Just say so. It's cowardly and at the same time arrogant at if the person being ghosted doesn't deserve common courtesy.

[Mi****]

Good to know

[Daddybrains]

Sometimes, a person’s partner demands that they block others they see as threats.

Sometimes a person blocks because the “bozo bit” flips in their brain; they decide someone is a bozo, and they remove them from their feed.

Sometimes the other person’s behavior in chat is triggering, offensive, creepy, or otherwise block-worthy.

Sometimes a person blocks someone as part of a temper tantrum or a manipulation technique.

Sometimes it happens by accident - tap the wrong button.

Unfortunately, the only person who really knows why they blocked you, has blocked you - so you’ll never be able to ask why.

[O-****]

Probably says more about them then it says about you. I know our instinct is to figure out what went wrong but that is a nearly impossible task. Yes you are left in your own head which is kinda the opposite of what we learn in bdsm culture about communication, but when someone else fails that does not reflect on you.

[Deleted Member]

Imagine someone requesting for your pictures, you send to them and they block you afterwards.
While I cannot wrap my head around it, i choose to not think about it because the more I do, the more my insecurities get triggered.
I came out here to find a community more accepting and different from others, but all I’ve found is same bunch of judgemental people.
The point is people just want what they want and sometimes it’s not you. So just learn to let go because there’s nothing else you can do about it and no explanation for their actions even though it hurts.

[ca****]

I ask myself the same🙄

[Si****]

100%! I feel your ***. It's the most anti-social, disrespectful, infuriating action possible. I'd rather be chewed out and told off than be blocked randomly. At least then I can just chalk it up to them being crazy. In my experience, this is king of a new age phenomenon. I don't remember this societal issue before texting was common. Perhaps that has something to do with it.

[ro****]

There’s no other reason other than they are cowards!!!! They would rather block you than to deal with the situation Accordingly. It’s deflection, they’re putting it all on u

[Da****]

I just tell people straight up. It's done.

[le****]

I’ve blocked people because after the initial honeymoon phase they’ve then displayed more red flags that a Chinese parade. This might have been interpreted by the other person as ‘not wanting to deal with the situation’ but it’s not my place to lecture adults on how to behave like adults. The one bitten by the snake doesn’t chase the snake to explain that it wasn’t a nice thing to do.

[Ga****]

Ye thats happened to me too. Though been a while.
Looking back, its always been with immature people i believe?
I cant recall anyone blocking me who was entirely reasonable in behaviour, but i was on the receiving end, so that could just be bias and cope from me

[Fu****]

I would suggest that the "nondisclosed topic" is either that they did not appreciate the volume or content of the messages you sent.

[da****]

People will block if you're not ready to send your number, and that is crazy. But that's what they do here

[kinkymasterandrew]

I think part of the issue is different views of blocking itself. I view it as the method of last resort to deal with unacceptable behavior from someone, but others seem to view it as more casual, like hiding someone from searches. I don't know the real reason the casual blockers do it, but I've been blocked by people after just looking at their profile and maybe liking a picture. I don't like ghosting or blocking, I haven't done either but have suffered both, but who am I to judge.

[Deleted Member]

My whole experiance of trying to meet anyone in kink, has been met with scams, people who aranage a coffee and dont bother, ghosting and then being ignored and blocked.

I thought vanilla sites where bad but this seems impossible to me, but trying go to event scares life out of me as a newbie and i am a parent so it makes it more difficult to free up my time for events so here felt like logically step

[TimberTara]

Ghosting just avoids any complicationS but should only be used when you’re really not into the relationship and it’s just starting out

[El****]

I believe that it may be a scammer and when confronted by things that they are truly unfamiliar with walk away because they can’t keep up the fake narrative. This may not be a scam for *** it may be someone thinking that this is an easy way to get laid.

[Ca****]

Recently happened to me..... I am left wondering what could've happened. Seemed like we were getting along just fine.

[Cr****]

Same