Life with a Vanilla partner

[Sh****]

Can one truly be happy with a vanilla partner? Can you ever scratch that itch with someone who is not on the same level as you. I personally do not think so but i have seen these complications be a issue.. so let's here your thoughts on if someone can keep there kinks as bay for love...

[ba****]

Nope you’ll always want it and look for a way to get it

[Fl****]

No, you will always desire what you want and then step out to find it or just be miserable.
I feel it's imperative to communicate kinks , desires, fantasies from the beginning before getting in to deep.

[Co****]

Im curious, haveyouve ever sat down and had a discussion with your partner? I know I have made the mistake in the past of being hesitant about discussing kinks or even just frank conversations with partners before I fully explored my own likes. But what I have found since, is that it can often be assumed that our partner is vanilla, but find out later that they actually have kinks and it was just never expressed.

[wa****]

Well, this is my struggle and how I ended up here and not in bed talking about these things with my wife of 10 years. My question after spilling the beans about my kinks and getting nothing but rejection and disgust from her was “who else can I talk to about this” and it was like talking to my mom. She then gaslit me about my feelings of judgement and turned the whole thing around to make me feel like I’d just signed up for a roast.

Been super depressed ever since so I came on here to just be able to talk about kinks. Funny how even in this format people still shut down and I feel like I’m back in therapy trying to get voice heard. She ms not open to being open but doesn’t love what I love so it’s hard is all.

[wa****]

Thanks Mizz, I’ve been chatting with some people on here, getting to know my pace as well as what it may take for others. I’m always curious to know people with my kinks so I’m hoping to find them one day. Just to relate not do them with each other unless it feels like I just can’t live without it.

[Ju****]

2 hours ago, wack-feels said:

Well, this is my struggle and how I ended up here and not in bed talking about these things with my wife of 10 years. My question after spilling the beans about my kinks and getting nothing but rejection and disgust from her was “who else can I talk to about this” and it was like talking to my mom. She then gaslit me about my feelings of judgement and turned the whole thing around to make me feel like I’d just signed up for a roast.

Been super depressed ever since so I came on here to just be able to talk about kinks. Funny how even in this format people still shut down and I feel like I’m back in therapy trying to get voice heard. She ms not open to being open but doesn’t love what I love so it’s hard is all.

I have a very similar struggle. I like this girl but she cums in like 5 minutes almost like she's having a seizure. After this, she's finished, and I mean for the next day or so. Rarely does she have more than one orgasm, and when she does, she's done for a week.
My sex drive is very high, and I have the stamina for a sexual marathon. I have this primal need to satisfy my partner 100%, I crave this the way a predator craves the warm flesh of its prey. I strive to satisfy both mentally and physically, but I need it to last longer than 5 minutes. If I go down on her and she cums, she is finished, nothing else, lights out. I can't even touch her anywhere on her body for an hour or more because she's too sensitive.
Se is completely finished before I am even started. Other than this, she's perfect.
And for everyone looking at this from the other way around, it's like having sex with a guy who is a two pump chump, and after he cums he goes limp and you didn't even have enough time to fake an orgasm.
Also, does this make me an asshole?

[Li****]

I couldn't do a vanilla relationship, I'd get bored and get quite angry at how bored I'd get! I'm naturally a sub and a little and couldn't hold it in.

[ra****]

This is why my profile is so crazy because no, I cannot. I don’t even want to contemplate somebody that’s vanilla or not on the same level of kinks as I am. This is why I people should find out, especially if they’re kinky what the other person is into before learning about them there was this one comedian I wish I remember her name, but she stated why would I let you into my mind if you can’t satisfy me in bed and that rang true you let somebody vanilla into your life or somebody with not the same kinks into your life and you end up being unfulfilled on multiple levels while there are for most part being fulfilled, it’s not a fair relationship

[Ko****]

I definitely see it as a problem but with open communication maybe. There is room for the partner to grow into something enjoyable. Roleplaying to their best ability. If it really is an issue I believe a true partner would be able to entertain some form of ENM to "scratch the itch" with much communication and transparency from both sides

[wa****]

13 minutes ago, rainbowcataclysm said:

This is why my profile is so crazy because no, I cannot. I don’t even want to contemplate somebody that’s vanilla or not on the same level of kinks as I am. This is why I people should find out, especially if they’re kinky what the other person is into before learning about them there was this one comedian I wish I remember her name, but she stated why would I let you into my mind if you can’t satisfy me in bed and that rang true you let somebody vanilla into your life or somebody with not the same kinks into your life and you end up being unfulfilled on multiple levels while there are for most part being fulfilled, it’s not a fair relationship

I whole heartedly agree, I do tend to be more upfront with the ones I get the vibes from and have struck out literally every time when it comes to finding someone on my page kinks wise. The rejection is a trauma of its own then facing the scrutiny of a long term partner on top of it has made me someone I don’t want to be at times. A liar. Motherhood had its effects on her role sexually and it went from explorative to vanilla in a years time. What keeps you there you ask? The fact that I want a family and love too. The kinks feel so unimportant in that scope but it doesn’t take away their importance to me personally if that makes sense so I’m thankful for this space to be able to relate to people like me

[Fa****]

No, it eventually does not.
I was married 20 yrs and we were not on the same page for at least half of that time. Leaving both unsatisfied.
But it ultimately depends on the people.

[Co****]

2 hours ago, wack-feels said:

Well, this is my struggle and how I ended up here and not in bed talking about these things with my wife of 10 years. My question after spilling the beans about my kinks and getting nothing but rejection and disgust from her was “who else can I talk to about this” and it was like talking to my mom. She then gaslit me about my feelings of judgement and turned the whole thing around to make me feel like I’d just signed up for a roast.

Been super depressed ever since so I came on here to just be able to talk about kinks. Funny how even in this format people still shut down and I feel like I’m back in therapy trying to get voice heard. She ms not open to being open but doesn’t love what I love so it’s hard is all.

I hope it was not my first post asking if you had discussed it with your partner that ended up as bashing. Truly not intending that at all. I can understand your struggle. However, and take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but if I had a partner react to me when I am opening up about my wants/needs. Id walk away. Not being into the same kinks is one thing. Making you feel ashamed for having desires is wrong.