Super Sub or Dom or Switch

[KonyakDoll]

So, I'm a super sub female, married to a switch male. He can be Sub or Dom. He wants me to be more Dom.... how can I accomplish that? Being that I'm really really sub? Can you be a switch if you feel all sub or Dom?

[ey****]

There's two ways to do this

1) You don't

Honestly. There is a big problem when there's (usually) a woman who is either sub or Dom (with no inkling or desire for the other) with a (usually) male partner who will decide that as he's a switch, he wants her to take up the other role.   Whilst, understandable if he has other interests and desires - it's also deeply unfair.

2) You use your submission to Dominate him

This is something *some* subs are happy to do and you might be also, that you are following his commands as a Dominant to do things that he likes which would switch things up.   In this case, communication is essential as he will need to tell you what he likes and doesn't and if he wants you to do stuff like shabari, impact play, CBT, whatever - then you may need to go through this to learn how to do it safely.

He cannot leave you on your own to say "go  learn to be more Dominant" and magically expect the results he wants.  This is kinda on him.

[qu****]

Do you want to be Dom? It will only work if you do, you can't just do it to please your hubby, don't be ashamed to say you really can't do it. Some people are either sub or Dom not both.

[KonyakDoll]

Thank you. That actually really helps. 

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been in the same situation it feels strange and unnatural at first but pretty quickly I got really into it! And of course it’s great to be pleasing your partner and seeing them enjoy it.

[Deviant_Ric]

You could use roleplay scenarios, as long as you can attached your psyche to the role and switch off the ‘real’ you. Think of it as acting the role but be very honest and clear about hard limits; all of which can be adapted and evolved as you progress as sub or Dom. Good luck x