Dating

[ra****]

If someone asks you out and you say yes…

Should they or shouldn’t they have plans?
Do you want to be asked to make those plans?
Do you want to be surprised?

I believe they should have thought of at least two plans that they love.

If I ask I will make the plans. I will not make plans for a date unless I ask.

I don’t mind surprises as long as I am given an idea of what to wear and how long.

But… is the expectation to do the planning if you ask someone out or for the other person?

I feel a date is a way to get to know that persons likes and see if we are compatible or if I like something new…

Tell me your thoughts. I have twelve ideas when I ask someone on a date and at least two back-up ideas if they are a no go.

[Ho****]

I believe the person who asks should have plans ready. At least a few ideas of what we could do. And go from there.

[No****]

As long as you communicate and are on the same page it doesn’t matter

[en****]

Context dependent. If they don't know you too well it would behove them to check for no goes in terms of food or activities. Personally I would check these things first before asking someone out so I had a plan ready. But things don't always go down that way ...

[an****]

I think it's usually a problem when they say they want to do something but actually they just want sex, so they don't actually have any ideas of things to do or places to go or anything like that. I hate being asked what I want to do. I've probably already told you enough for you to be able to make a decent attempt. Lol

[Deleted Member]

No you talked personally so what the two discussed should be the judge of things. Idk if this was a serious question or content creation

[Ba****]

Well as a guy if someone asks me out i first have to clarify if they mean that they actually want to take me on a date or if they are asking me to take them on a date, you know because of general societal standards it’s quite common for women to mean the latter
If they actually mean the former i just put on something “decent” and have the day reserved
If they honestly say that they meant the latter i just ask them out and proceed from there
If they say the former but meant the latter i just wish them luck and leave

And in my opinion there doesn’t need to be any concrete plans, just a general idea of a neutral place where we can have a calm conversation is basically all that’s needed to get to know each other

Ps if i’m explicitly invited I also only expect to pay for transportation and things that have been specified beforehand

[Sc****]

If they say I’d like to take you out, yes that implies that they are taking you out and they should have a plan.

[Ac****]

If I ask someone out I will 100% have plans….and will typically be paying.

[To****]

I hate surprises and I usually am the one that make the plan even if I'm in the role of submissive (which is rare).

But that's because of my disability and it is just easier for me to pick the starting point. Then they can decide for me once they learn the kind of place that is accessible for me.

I don't hassle about paying for myself if needed. I'll never offer to pay for others if they ask me though. I'll pay if I ask them out.

[Th****]

Yes definitely 💯

[st****]

They should have plans, they should have pants at least)) They should should have every answer on your every question. You are the best, Always keep that in mind. And they should

[so****]

If the date is their idea you shouldn't have to do anything but show up.

[Ca****]

They should absolutely have ideas at the very least. Im iffy personally on the "just showing up" because ive got some health issues - and if its a first date, we may not have had those conversations yet - so id hate to not be able to participate in what was arranged.

But yes, at a minimum "id love to take you out. Which of these ideas sound most enjoyable to you?"

[Ba****]

I feel like the planning falls on the person asking, or a combined effort. Like, if A asks B out, they can either do what A suggests, or they can work together for something that they will both enjoy.

[ey****]

I think on a general date I'm flexible and that can also be an issue if the other person is flexible - i.e. I'm happy with coffee, meal, drinks, x, y, z - yeah me too - and  having to pick the one "best" 

I don't think there needs to be a pre-thought structured plan for someone who hasn't said yes yet, or has only just said yes

[ja****]

If you don’t accept the plans what does it matter…….thats what a lot of women don’t understand cuz like everybody keeps saying “the dating pool has changed” women want 5 🌟 treatment on the first date: restaurant concerts etc a bunch of dumb shit that doesn’t even matter and it’s like…..”bitch I don’t even know you like that” but then when you say no or take em to a fast food spot it’s like “oh well you broke” and blah blah blah………naw bitch you just not worth my time………I’ll never spend over $100 while dating and even that’s a stretch because like I said “we’re just DATINGand I don’t even know you” 🤦🏽‍♂️

[ra****]

11 hours ago, englishcuck said:

Context dependent. If they don't know you too well it would behove them to check for no goes in terms of food or activities. Personally I would check these things first before asking someone out so I had a plan ready. But things don't always go down that way ...

Context dependent??? i have my vanilla likes and my food preferences out there on purpose so people don’t have to think if they don’t want to be spontaneous.

[ra****]

11 hours ago, anchoragefemale said:

I think it's usually a problem when they say they want to do something but actually they just want sex, so they don't actually have any ideas of things to do or places to go or anything like that. I hate being asked what I want to do. I've probably already told you enough for you to be able to make a decent attempt. Lol

Agreed.

[ra****]

11 hours ago, outlander88 said:

No you talked personally so what the two discussed should be the judge of things. Idk if this was a serious question or content creation

Content creation?? the question is legit mostly in hopes of getting insight into what is wrong with men thinking we want to plan the date they just asked you out on… i immediately block them after telling them i am not planning…

[ra****]

11 hours ago, Honeymustard86 said:

I believe the person who asks should have plans ready. At least a few ideas of what we could do. And go from there.

Like would you like to do xy or z?? Hell yeah lets go!

[ra****]

13 hours ago, outlander88 said:

No you talked personally so what the two discussed should be the judge of things. Idk if this was a serious question or content creation

Also, I put my views because i asked the questions.. i always feel if you have questions and you ask people they should also know how you feel if they disagree they are welcome to. Not extremely for debate but more to see the other side… i would love to know how i am feeling is wrong and why… or right and why… or if there is something my brain just needs to meet a middle road on.

[Wa****]

If I were to ask you out I would plan, pick you up, and pay for everything. As a Dom should.

[Gy****]

Depends on a lot of stuff tbh. Not everyone is the same

[ra****]

15 hours ago, BabyBoyNate said:

I feel like the planning falls on the person asking, or a combined effort. Like, if A asks B out, they can either do what A suggests, or they can work together for something that they will both enjoy.

This makes sense to me as well!