Earn Submission Before Sex

[Da****]

Let me be clear I enjoy the sex.
But if I ever have to choose between sex first or submission first, I’m choosing submission. Every time.
Sex does not equal submission.
Submission is earned. It’s built through consistency, leadership, protection, and trust. It’s a woman deciding she feels safe enough to surrender not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
If we reach a sexual space together, it should be because submission already exists. Because trust already exists. Because the dynamic is already present.
If you’re willing to give me your body but not your trust… I’ll pass.
Not because I don’t desire you, but because without submission, I’m not standing in my full Dom presence.
And once submission is earned, structure must be maintained.
Structure protects the foundation.
Structure keeps trust steady.
Structure allows surrender to deepen instead of collapse.
Without structure, submission weakens.
Without consistency, the dynamic fades.
For me, the power exchange is the foundation. The surrender comes before the intimacy. The dynamic leads the desire.
Sex is powerful.
But earned submission maintained through structure is sacred.
What are your thoughts on earned submission before sex?

[Ch****]

.. or man or non-binary or two spirit (and others) deciding

[Sa****]

Wow!!! Very true, VERY well said!!!

[PL****]

Very well said and I agree 💯 but I have a follow up question for the OP and the community...

How many prefer to give that submissive time to build that trust and safety and do you have a cut off point ir feel it will happen when it happens?

[ta****]

Faggot getta fuckn grip pussy

[wb****]

It would be amazing if more men felt and acted the same way.

The number of guys who come at me (I’m sure others) immediately wanting access to the private photos; or who assume because I’m submissive I’m going to just give xyz; is mind boggling.

On other dating apps I get it, unfortunately they are set up as a proverbial meat market. Here however it seems more disrespectful.

Don’t get me wrong I know there are women here who are only after the “book” experience or whatnot. There are so many guys who make it clear from the go they want sex not a D/s dynamic.

The really sad part for me is how dating part of this has proven to be no different from any other app. I have come to use and enjoy this app for the forum discussions, educational aspects and events.

[st****]

Yesterday at 01:42 PM, takme2church said:

Faggot getta fuckn grip pussy

Way to out yourself as a POS

[st****]

I’m very much in agreement with this sentiment. Good to know there’s folks on the other side of the slash that also feel this way

[ra****]

Anyone who thinks they’re entitled to sex or submission based solely on a role they identify with or simply because they’re horny and they exist, doesn’t deserve either. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[BlueGrace]

I became a submissive for my Doms when I was 18. We didn’t have sex for the first time until I was almost 20. For me, sex is extremely intimate and I don’t take that intimacy lightly. Being a submissive to my 4 Doms is very personal, emotional, and intellectual than sexual. There is more to submission than sex. Dominance and submission are both earned. I would never have sex with anyone without the dynamic first. It’s essential to have chemistry, structure, boundaries, limits, trust, before any sexual act.