New mistress

[Deleted Member]

What is important for a new mistress to know? From a sub point of view or dom point of view?

[TheDragonQueen]

Communicate thoroughly before getting into any kind of dynamic. This goes for both Sub and Dom, knowing each other's boundaries and limits and comfort zones is super important for any kind of relationship but especially with Kink.

[Mo****]

You may not have the experiences I did. Just in case;
1. If you focus on getting laid, it will difficult to establish connections and dynamics. You will need that.
2. Subs will constantly test boundaries, similar to ***. Bratty behavior will occasionally happen.
3. Many will say they want to be subs, but it's not true. Some are soft tops, they don't obey well and resist training.
4. Watch some videos.
5. Subs and pets can be needy and push their own agenda. They may not respect your boundaries. MAKE SURE THEY DO!
6. I look at being a Dom like therapy and Subs as patients in a way. With that in mind, different patients have different needs. You may not be into the treatment each will need.
7. I always require STI updated tests.
I hope you have fun and are safe.

[ey****]

it depends kinda on where you are, and where you want to be.

Like, if you have met a partner who wants to explore you being a Dominant can be a world of difference to if you are at home saying "you know, I would enjoy being a Mistress" and also whether that is to have a "lifestyle" arrangement, or if you are going down a professional route.

I guess being new, one thing to be wary of is guys who will sniff this out. A lot of guys look for new/inexperienced Dommes because they feel they can shape into what they think a Domme should look like, rather than what works for you.

So generally, seek out and speak with others who are already doing what you hope to do.  

You can both value a subs input, and declare that is not for you.  Your own boundaries, wants, likes, limits, etc are at least as important as the subs.

Some things you might want to do will take time, patience and trial and error to get right. 

[rimmingslave82]

The safe word i guess

[yo****]

Knowing your subs limits and the safe word is most important and the safety of both parties

[TheZenCommander]

It's important for any newbie on either side of the D/s slash to understand that under all the spicy fun, we're all still human. Subs are not toys without feelings and Dominants are not endless kink dispensers. Both sides are in it to get some sort of needs met.

[lo****]

Never, ever, ever, use my fucking toothbrush.

[MistressWhipplash]

Do not be swayed to do anything you don't want to do. Endure your selection filter is thick as there are plenty of guvkboys who say what you want to hear just for random play. If you say you need to know them for six months as a person before you even talk about play...watch the guy disappear.
My advice is to meet at a munch you are already going to so if that newbie doesn't turn up it doesn't ruin your evening.

I recommend waiting before you play with someone so you are not used as a free ProDomme.

Put your priorities how you want them. I suggest getting to know each other face to face with your clothes on. Laugh together. Then some form of bond / basically play partners where you meet each other at a club. Play and leave.
Or if you want more such as a long-term relationship make that clear.

Before you decide what you want from kink, go to munches and talk to other women. They will give you a heads up about what to avoid.
Sure it's totally up to you if you take that advice, but you are likely to get hurt/get burn out if you don't.

[Se****]

Fun xxx

[Chef4bea]

Im going to ask a question to the Dom women is it always about ***? I have a rule where I won't pay for friends or women never have never will ...it would defeat the point, the turn on is that u pulled a baddie and she likes u not yoyr *** that being said im never cheap with my friends or lovers ...im a widower and have been loyal for 23 years to my wife we switched it up sometimes but I was the dominant partner 80% od the time are there Dom women who do it for pleasure vs work?

[ey****]

18 minutes ago, Chef4bea said:

Im going to ask a question to the Dom women is it always about ***?

I can tell you know it's not

18 minutes ago, Chef4bea said:

are there Dom women who do it for pleasure vs work?

and I can tell you - yes there are

however... the thing with pleasure, for women, isn't just about the "kinky act" it's about the person and pretty much most men approach with "kinky act" in mind, and for a lot of the ladies, yeah, that isn't *their* pleasure bending to a strangers fantasy. 

[Chef4bea]

lol ill wait till i find the right queen i get it if u want it on demand u pay if you want to build a long term trusting safe space u do that

[Chef4bea]

ill remove my question ty