Is it time to step out of the lifestyle?

[NE****]

I need some advice here!

I relatively recently realized I am actually very much in love with someone that was supposed to be a temporary situation. Things seemed to be mutual for 4 months, but it has changed and I feel I'm the only one still invested.

It's changed my whole way of being. I have essential lost interest in meeting with casual partners that I've seen for years and it's got my head a mess.

So I really just need some input, is it time to walk away from this life? I've never had to deal with becoming attached like this and it has changed everything for me. I don't know what made this time so different, but I don't think I can put myself in this position again.

[Ne****]

Sounds like a conversation is needed. You should see if both parties are on the same page. And is this person not involved with this lifestyle? Why would you need to leave the kink life?

[Mi****]

I agree with the above poster. You need to have the hard conversation. If this person isn't at the same level and doesn't expect to be, you remove yourself from THAT dynamic, not every other dynamic.

[Ma****]

Nothing wrong with stepping away, and getting distance & perspective. Take a week, take a month, take as long as you need.
I have seen this regularly.
Some have left for good, others just needed a break.
You are your own advocate. Take the time you need. Tell those that you should tell. But dont feel obligated to tell the whole world.

[Ve****]

OK, Aquarius man lol! All your feelings inside and have a difficult time getting them out. And I am assuming you are speaking of a female? Talk to her! Let her know how you feel. If she does not reciprocate, time to move on. I agree with the gentleman who replied prior to me. Effective communication!!! Good luck to you, sir! 💋💋💋

[er****]

There's nothing wrong with developing deeper connections in the lifestyle. If it's a question of leaving the lifestyle to avoid the deeper connections, I dont think that kind of change will impact the forming of connections, just the crowd you form those connections in. My recommendation would be to sit down with them and open dialog on your feelings, approach it with the understanding that they may not have the same depth of feeling.

[da****]

Open communication w both (or however many) parties should be priority. As long as both of you are clear as can be w your feelings, then the next steps can be easier to see. If things don’t work out be yall, I would maybe take that time to sit w your emotions. Find some way to make sure it’s not harming you in any way. Then maybe after you’ve had some time to mourn the connection, you take a little more time to have a smooth transition either back into casual meetings/partners or even serious relationships. Either way it’ll be a process, but one that should help build you into a better person going forward.

If things do go well, then continue the honest conversations as much as you can. Yall have built the trust to an extent, now you just keep exploring one another w additional fun (hopefully)! At the end of the day, your feelings and emotions are priority. All you can do is share them w the other person as much as you can. What they do/say is out of your control, and I would highlight that either positive or negative reaction will happen and to be prepared regardless if that makes sense. I hope this helps in some way! I wish you the best in your overall journey

[Na****]

Agreed ^ use your words… and if things progress that doesn’t mean massive disruption is inevitable. Maybe continued healthy growth is around the corner - “it’s like lotto, you gotta be in it to win it”

[ma****]

Deeper connections have happened several times and I have stepped away to be with them and came back when the relationship ended. Communication is essential.

[JJ****]

If you don't enjoy casual encounters anymore, it's completely ok. Some can handle casual experiences for a lifetime, while some get tired of them and desire more of an emotionally intimate way of living and connecting with others. Both are perfectly fine.

[No****]

Things change, don’t over analyse everything. Sounds like you need a break from casual at the least

[Ba****]

What do you mean when you say „the lifestyle“??
As far as i understood it you where in a intentionally temporary relationship that was mutual for a time and now you are the only one interested in making it a longterm romantic relationship
If i got that right then yes, you may not get the result you seem to hope for but stepping away from that situation could be the best for both of you

[my****]

BDSM and monogamy are NOT mutually exclusive concepts. Unless your kink is solely enm.

[TJ****]

It's not that serious. Don't overthink it