Are neurodivergents drawn more toward domination or submission?

[jj****]

This is not scientific by any means, but when um scrolling through other people’s posts, I will see some users talk about being neurodivergent. I think it’s probably a given that a kink community would tend to have more neurodivergent members than neurotypical members… but does it run deeper? Are neurodivergents more likely to be drawn to a particular role (possibly) because of the social imbalance with neurotypicals?

Anyone else think about this kind of nerd shit?

[th****]

Tbh I LOVE to dom but I need very very clear consent else my brain cant let me go through with being rough and what not. Im wired in a way where words need to be specific at times bc I may lose the hint

[Ni****]

I like to sub because it’s nice to just relax and not have to worry about things and think so much

[jj****]

Just now, Nickofthemountains said:

I like to sub because it’s nice to just relax and not have to worry about things and think so much

Are you neurodivergent?

[jj****]

2 minutes ago, thatsbigmomo said:

Tbh I LOVE to dom but I need very very clear consent else my brain cant let me go through with being rough and what not. Im wired in a way where words need to be specific at times bc I may lose the hint

Are you neurodivergent?

[th****]

1 minute ago, jjbeanbun said:

Are you neurodivergent?

yes i am. Adhd

[Ni****]

Just now, thatsbigmomo said:

yes i am. Adhd

Hey me too

[MasterAidan]

I’m like drawn to being a dom, and I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable or safe being a sub just because of well trauma I guess that’s unrelated to kink and I’m neurodivergent. But I’ve been with a lot of people who are submissive and also neurodivergent. I think it’s two sides of the same coin. It would be interesting to see the statistics tho.

[Ni****]

Indeed it would

[jj****]

4 minutes ago, MasterAidan said:

I’m like drawn to being a dom, and I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable or safe being a sub just because of well trauma I guess that’s unrelated to kink and I’m neurodivergent. But I’ve been with a lot of people who are submissive and also neurodivergent. I think it’s two sides of the same coin. It would be interesting to see the statistics tho.

Yeah, I honestly don’t know which way it would actually lean because I see a lot of different stuff. But the thread of basically just not having to worry about committing a social faux pas during *** moments exists pretty consistently. I wonder if that makes nueridivergents a little dommier? Or if suspension of worry is actually what makes neurodivergents want to submit? Or something. Like we all tend to think off the beaten path anyway, so what elements feed the lil anxious lizard brains the most?

[MasterAidan]

Wait I never like equated that wait that actually explains why free-use means so much to me and makes me feel safe. Also I think for submissives it might not be because they are it’s just because like with doms and also maybe for doms as well who are neurodivergent it’s just people in bdsm are direct about what they want.

11 minutes ago, jjbeanbun said:

 

Yeah, I honestly don’t know which way it would actually lean because I see a lot of different stuff. But the thread of basically just not having to worry about committing a social faux pas during *** moments exists pretty consistently. I wonder if that makes nueridivergents a little dommier? Or if suspension of worry is actually what makes neurodivergents want to submit? Or something. Like we all tend to think off the beaten path anyway, so what elements feed the lil anxious lizard brains the most?

 

[Ki****]

Well my sist@r b and I are Bo h divergent and I am dominant and she is submissive. I think it is more about what fits the situation for each person.

[Jo****]

I think ND people are just generally drawn to D/S dynamics, if we could get a proper poll, I’m sure the results might favor one, but I think it’d actually be pretty close between Dom and Sub preferences amongst neurodivergent people.
Reasoning:
For Doms- laying out structure and rules that make you happy, that someone else is enthusiastically following. Creating and enacting plans. Putting to use one’s high attention to details like a partner’s body language, vocal tone changes, and stimuli-response.
For subs- taking a brain-break, having structure and rules to live by with someone else’s guidance & assistance, being able to ground and focus on a single sensation.
For either- BDSM is centered around clear communication, trust, and boundaries. Also, theres often a roleplay aspect, ND people love roleplay.

Yes, I’m autistic, and also a switch.

[hi****]

I think part of why I lean towards submission is because of my ADHD and anxiety. Don't have to worry about choice paralysis or not doing things right when you have someone doing everything for you. It's a nice break from the complexities of life

[Ms****]

I think the openness, clear communication, boundaries, make it easier for the neurodivergent brain, that tends to lean towards seeing things black and white, rather than grey areas. Like someone prior mentioned, clarity leads to the ability to fully walk into the role. If its unclear, I have a hard time getting into subspace or domspace. Im neurodivergent and a switch, for me its my connection to the other person determines my interactions with them. Often I can only be one or the other with each person. Only a couple times I have been able to switch roles with a partner, during play.

[Juggarnaut11]

I’m drawn to dominance

[Ni****]

8 minutes ago, MsRed32514 said:

I think the openness, clear communication, boundaries, make it easier for the neurodivergent brain, that tends to lean towards seeing things black and white, rather than grey areas. Like someone prior mentioned, clarity leads to the ability to fully walk into the role. If its unclear, I have a hard time getting into subspace or domspace. Im neurodivergent and a switch, for me its my connection to the other person determines my interactions with them. Often I can only be one or the other with each person. Only a couple times I have been able to switch roles with a partner, during play.

So eloquently put. For both subs and doms we now have clearly defined parameters of what do to do and what do say which can be like stepping into a hot bath of relaxation from what it’s like in the real world 

[Ap****]

I don't think the kinks are more neurodivergent than neurotypical but that those different from "mainstream" and already a fringe personality have less to lose by going kink. And this conforming to norms don't explore.

[Bl****]

It would depend, I think, quite heavily on the specific Divergence. For Example:

I generally like more dominant women. Not because I am submissive, but because I am Autistic. They are direct with what they want.

My friend (real dude. Won't share name) is antisocial. He likes submissive women because they don't pressure him to go in public.

My friend (Name of Friend 😂) has adult hyperactivity. He likes more dominant, athletic women who, "can tire me out with exercise. Like a golden retriever".

Ain't no one answer here

[Da****]

1 hour ago, JoeFrankenstein said:

I think ND people are just generally drawn to D/S dynamics, if we could get a proper poll, I’m sure the results might favor one, but I think it’d actually be pretty close between Dom and Sub preferences amongst neurodivergent people.
Reasoning:
For Doms- laying out structure and rules that make you happy, that someone else is enthusiastically following. Creating and enacting plans. Putting to use one’s high attention to details like a partner’s body language, vocal tone changes, and stimuli-response.
For subs- taking a brain-break, having structure and rules to live by with someone else’s guidance & assistance, being able to ground and focus on a single sensation.
For either- BDSM is centered around clear communication, trust, and boundaries. Also, theres often a roleplay aspect, ND people love roleplay.

Yes, I’m autistic, and also a switch.

Hit the nail on the head with that one. I'm a switch and have diagnosed and medicated ADHD, plus probably hanging out on the spectrum somewhere, and all of that is dead on for me.

[Or****]

Yeah ADHD here and switch (I think, still need to explore sub)

[Le****]

2 hours ago, MasterAidan said:

I’m like drawn to being a dom, and I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable or safe being a sub just because of well trauma I guess that’s unrelated to kink and I’m neurodivergent. But I’ve been with a lot of people who are submissive and also neurodivergent. I think it’s two sides of the same coin. It would be interesting to see the statistics tho.

I am sorry to hear of your past with traumatic experiences.
It’s totally understandable that you feel uncomfortable being a sub because of it. But BDSM and being topped/dominated can in fact have the***utic effects on people with Trauma (which doesn’t equal therapy!). It’s because experiencing the loss of control (which is a core part of every traumatic experience of any kind) in a consensual controlled and safe environment is a corrective experience and gives the brain and nervous system the chance to rewire.
Many experiences in BDSM can have a positive impact on Trauma.
BTW: Trauma / PTSD counts as being neurodivergent because Traumatic experiences change the brain in a way that equals the brain chemistry of inherited neurodivergence as ADHD and Autism. The symptoms overlap too.

If you’re interested to read into Trauma & BDSM I recommend this article of a kink experienced professional psychotherapist

 

[MasterAidan]

58 minutes ago, Lea-Marie said:

 

I am sorry to hear of your past with traumatic experiences.
It’s totally understandable that you feel uncomfortable being a sub because of it. But BDSM and being topped/dominated can in fact have the***utic effects on people with Trauma (which doesn’t equal therapy!). It’s because experiencing the loss of control (which is a core part of every traumatic experience of any kind) in a consensual controlled and safe environment is a corrective experience and gives the brain and nervous system the chance to rewire.
Many experiences in BDSM can have a positive impact on Trauma.
BTW: Trauma / PTSD counts as being neurodivergent because Traumatic experiences change the brain in a way that equals the brain chemistry of inherited neurodivergence as ADHD and Autism. The symptoms overlap too.

If you’re interested to read into Trauma & BDSM I recommend this article of a kink experienced professional psychotherapist

 

yea I know about that, but also I’m just not into being a sub lol, its just not who I am, and not what I feel comfortable with, also like you don’t really know anything about me so please don’t assume and please respect my boundaries, I know very well the affects of bdsm on trauma, and I don’t have ptsd or anything I don’t think, I’ve just been through stuff. I’m neurodivergent because of the way my brain is already wired, and I’m more naturally dominant especially in person just because the way I am.

[wb****]

2 hours ago, JoeFrankenstein said:

I think ND people are just generally drawn to D/S dynamics, if we could get a proper poll, I’m sure the results might favor one, but I think it’d actually be pretty close between Dom and Sub preferences amongst neurodivergent people.
Reasoning:
For Doms- laying out structure and rules that make you happy, that someone else is enthusiastically following. Creating and enacting plans. Putting to use one’s high attention to details like a partner’s body language, vocal tone changes, and stimuli-response.
For subs- taking a brain-break, having structure and rules to live by with someone else’s guidance & assistance, being able to ground and focus on a single sensation.
For either- BDSM is centered around clear communication, trust, and boundaries. Also, theres often a roleplay aspect, ND people love roleplay.

Yes, I’m autistic, and also a switch.

Well said I think that’s why I’m so drawn to sensory deprivation. Not only can I stop masking as a sub but I also get to just feel and breathe when all I’m allowed to do is feel.
AuDHD

[ey****]

I'm aware of people who are ND (either diagnoses, awaiting diagnoses, not diagnosed but totally are....) who are sub, who are Dominant, who are switch

I'd overall say using a broad term like ND doesn't yield any distinct pattern to role or turnons