No aftercare/abandoned by Dom

[Deleted Member]

You seem to have misconstrued my words, my subs don’t have to make threads about frivolous things such as this one

[Th****]

Aftercare is a must. It is a discussion between both parties as to what is required, and how much is needed.

[Ma****]

As a dom it should be all on them, for the most part, for any issues. We are like the owners/leaders/CEOs in this setting. If you're in charge, EVERYTHING is your fault. There maybe a case for a special circumstance but not in this one.

Remember, even in a dom/sub relationship that you have just as much value as the other.

[BlueGrace]

It’s really important for both Dom and sub to provide aftercare for each other. It’s even more important to discuss expectations, limits, boundaries, and aftercare before engaging in any form of play. I have 4 Doms and each one requires different types of aftercare after scenes and I need slightly different things from them depending on the scene. We negotiate it and state expectations. I’ve never experienced sub drop before and that’s probably due to certain medication I’m on. I do believe in and practice aftercare for my Doms and myself.

[Ve****]

As a Dom that has experienced Dom drop, and also recently lost my sub (not due to the drop). The emotional state is a difficult one. I find the connection created in this dynamic is so much stronger than a typical vanilla relationship, (at least for me) I have never had a response to the breakup like I experienced with this (this was also my first D/s dynamic), but I feel that if you really want to have another Dom, take it one day at a time, but don't be afraid of the "baggage" as you refer but as a learning and boundary experience. Put it on the table when talking to a new Dom, watch their reaction and feel it . It might bring up a red flag for you as part of your vetting. If you see or feel the wrong response to your situation, like showing too much confidence or dismissing the emotional side of the experience then you may want to look elsewhere. But if they show a healthy amount of empathy, and seem to be taking notes (even if it appears to be mental noting) then you have someone that is considerate and may be a good fit to explore more time with . Don't let this downfall keep you from getting what you want . Use it, learn from it, and above all rise above it..

[To****]

Sub drop on top of a sudden breakup can really hit harder than people expect…

From my side as a Dom, aftercare isn’t optional. If it’s missing, the nervous system can crash afterwards, and what you’re feeling sounds like a mix of drop + emotional shock

First thing I’d say is don’t rush into a new Dom just to fill the gap. That usually doesn’t help, it just stacks new emotions on top of something that’s not processed yet

Focus on getting yourself stable again first. Sleep, food, routine, grounding, basic stuff. It sounds simple but it actually matters more than people think in moments like this…

And you’re not “damaged goods” for a new dynamic. You’re just someone who had an experience that didn’t get proper closure. The right person will understand that, not see it as baggage

Take your time. Let your system settle first, everything else comes after that. I hope that helps…

[Benji-5796]

My clients get a contract of sorts. So u can be happy n leave satisfied. Both parties understand exactly what the other needs wants are. But relationships idk how thst actually works seems broken to start.