Thoughts on dominance and submission

[Wi****]

Things I've learnt.

Dominance isn’t about sex.
Dominance is being there for your sub.
Dominance is working through their meltdowns.
Dominance is accepting your sub especially when they won’t accept themself.
Dominance is being asked for the millionth time if you love them.
Dominance is tucking your sub in at night.
Dominance is telling your sub no.
Dominance is quieting their demons.
Dominance is being their bastion of strength.
Dominance is shrugging off your subs anger and frustration when you do things for their own good.
Dominance is encouraging them.
Dominance is comforting them in the middle of the night when they've had a nightmare.
Dominance is guiding.
Dominance is building your sub.
Dominance is love.

ON TH FLIP SIDE
On the flip side, submission is so much more than getting spanked and having orgasms.
Submission is about being there for your Dom/Domme.
Submission is about being that consistent person.
Submission is building your Dom/Domme up and letting them know their loved and valued.
Submission is about listening when you want to speak.
Submission is about running to the pharmacy when you're Dom/Domme is under the weather.
Submission is helping them get ready for work when their is running late.
Submission is letting them lead, even when it’s hardest.
Submission is being his cheerleader.
Submission is honest, open communication because that’s what you're Dom/Domme deserves.
Submission is having their back.
Submission is being the hand that reaches for them in the middle of the night.
Submission is so much more than sex and submitting can come in the smallest, simplest ways.

[Deleted Member]

Yes, I love this!!

I think it’s very much about our ego state, when I’m in a sub dynamic I’m very needy and look for reassurance from my Dom whereas as I don’t necessarily need that connection when I’m the dominant… then I switch into care giver.

Both roles give me pleasure, both meet my needs in very different ways!

[lexybrown2025]

This an accurate description of how it should be. I think a real Mistress/ sub is more about a deep emotional connection( at least is what I'm looking on a sub). Well done Willow75 for putting in words what I crave

[Deleted Member]

Amazing! Forget keep calm and carry on! This should be mandatory reading. Brilliant 🤩

[Wi****]

15 minutes ago, TAROTT said:

Amazing! Forget keep calm and carry on! This should be mandatory reading. Brilliant 🤩

That's very kind of you tarott. 🤗

[Deleted Member]

Beautifully written Willow! 💕🥰🦋

[tu****]

Thank you for sharing this.

[Ds****]

Beautifully put Willow75 and great to see others who have same mind set, I find there are many out there who don’t give either role the thought nor care required.

[LatexThing]

What an amazing post, yet very salient.

I could waffle on about experiences and failings, but we've all been there.

Going to keep this, for the gem it truly is.

Thank you for such a wonderful insight, truly poetic!!

If I may, can I attach this to the end of my profile, obviously with acknowledgement to you @Willow75

Edited July 3, 2021 by LatexThing
Forgetful :)

[Wi****]

Of course you may latexthing I'd be honoured 

[LatexThing]

1 hour ago, Willow75 said:

Of course you may latexthing I'd be honoured 

Thank you very much, appreciated :)

[Wi****]

On 6/27/2021 at 7:36 AM, Sandy45 said:

This an accurate description of how it should be. I think a real Mistress/ sub is more about a deep emotional connection( at least is what I'm looking on a sub). Well done Willow75 for putting in words what I crave

Thankyou very much for your kind words, I think a deep emotional connection is vital to it helps build trust and helps you open up, communicate better and much more. It's reassuring to hear other D's agreeing with my thoughts again thankyou 

[Mz****]

I'm glad to see you've learnt what matters to you, and what your ideas of Dominance and submission are..of course, not E/everyone has the same dynamics or needs..(to be tucked in as one example), but its lovely to read someone's personal feelings so generously shared, thank you for doing that.

[Wi****]

Your more than welcome MzJax, thought important to share as I feel alot of people come here not understanding the way dynamics in bdsm work and develop. Yes everyone's needs and dynamics are different but I feel the core principles are very very similar. Being tucked in was just an example of the deep care, empathy and feelings that develop within dynamics 

[Mz****]

29 minutes ago, Willow75 said:

Your more than welcome MzJax, thought important to share as I feel alot of people come here not understanding the way dynamics in bdsm work and develop. Yes everyone's needs and dynamics are different but I feel the core principles are very very similar. Being tucked in was just an example of the deep care, empathy and feelings that develop within dynamics 

I feel like I'm being a pedantic bitch, and I may get grief for this, but you know me Willow so hopefully understand I'm not trying to be difficult..but.."it was just an example of the deep care, empathy and feelings that ((Can)) develop within ((Some)) dynamics" is more accurate for me, of course it depends on your definition of what a dynamic is..but thats another discussion entirely..from my perspective, worded without the bracketed bits it sorta suggests it's guaranteed and it isn't you know 🤷‍♀️

[Wi****]

I agree totally it's just my English lit sometimes let's down. But your your correction is what I was trying to get at😊😊😊

[Deleted Member]

I feel this completey, the deep emotional bond that develops over time is heart & centre of what I crave & need from a Dominant.

[Deleted Member]

I absolutely love this, beautifully written x

Edited July 10, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Cu****]

I love your list but could i add to it..

 

Dominance is not being cruel or heartless for cruelty's sake

 

Submission is not being a doormat for everyone to wipe their feet on

[Wi****]

Of course you may add those they are both extremely valid points.

Thankyou

[leighbratscamper]

On 6/27/2021 at 4:58 AM, Willow75 said:

Things I've learnt.

Dominance isn’t about sex.
Dominance is being there for your sub.
Dominance is working through their meltdowns.
Dominance is accepting your sub especially when they won’t accept themself.
Dominance is being asked for the millionth time if you love them.
Dominance is tucking your sub in at night.
Dominance is telling your sub no.
Dominance is quieting their demons.
Dominance is being their bastion of strength.
Dominance is shrugging off your subs anger and frustration when you do things for their own good.
Dominance is encouraging them.
Dominance is comforting them in the middle of the night when they've had a nightmare.
Dominance is guiding.
Dominance is building your sub.
Dominance is love.

ON TH FLIP SIDE
On the flip side, submission is so much more than getting spanked and having orgasms.
Submission is about being there for your Dom/Domme.
Submission is about being that consistent person.
Submission is building your Dom/Domme up and letting them know their loved and valued.
Submission is about listening when you want to speak.
Submission is about running to the pharmacy when you're Dom/Domme is under the weather.
Submission is helping them get ready for work when their is running late.
Submission is letting them lead, even when it’s hardest.
Submission is being his cheerleader.
Submission is honest, open communication because that’s what you're Dom/Domme deserves.
Submission is having their back.
Submission is being the hand that reaches for them in the middle of the night.
Submission is so much more than sex and submitting can come in the smallest, simplest ways.

Willow, your words are amazing and beautifully discribe the D/s as it should be. :) 

[Wi****]

Thankyou leigh you're very kind. 🤗🤗🤗💜💜

[Rajdom]

Leigh so true 😘😘 love it as always 👌👌👌

 

[Deleted Member]

Beautifully put willow 😍

[Wi****]

Thankyou 😊