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Submission , a way to escape the real world


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Hi everyone , Im pretty new to the site but joined as looking for others to help explore my submissive tendencies , 

I find that being a submissive is my way of escaping the real world , the day to day grind of work, and a way to allow myself to let go of reality , 

does anyone have a similar experience / ideas  or even similar urges they’d like to discuss ? 




I was actually a bit worried I saw kink and submission as escapism.

It's not, necessarily, a bad thing - but I got a bit worried when I switched from a job I resented to one I don't mind - and ironed out other things in my life that were making me unhappy that this would affect my enjoyment of kink.

Although a lot of things in kink could be better, I have had a whole host of adventures and experiences I'm forever grateful for and often found that resentment I had for my job and other hobbies : not getting out what I put in : was something I was getting from kink.  i.e. I feel I, largely, get out what I put in.

I'm getting a bit leftfield here, but, I think it's important to view kink as more than escapism.  That you'd still want kink if you were happy with everything else.  


It's more common than you think, especially for people driven by a need to succeed at work..or with a lot of responsibility, handing control over to another can be a good release in itself.

Eyemblacksheep makes a good point though, if kink wouldn't be part of your life without the need to escape, it may not be the best destresser/escape/release for you.

I fully identify with the escapist nature of submission when one has a high responsibility or high stress occupation. I love absolving control and find it very liberating and fulfilling.. the only issue is finding someone to give that trust to. I have had that and would like it again.

Yeah i find that. I found i am submissive sexually but in a bdsm scene i have no idea. But i had hard life, toughen thru experiences that make it extremely difficult to submit. But here in this place, this so called scene. It seems what i feel is not that uncommon. What i am trying to find out, if i actually need this. Or this submissive inside me is a weakness. I dont particular like feeling it but it also excites me.  


One of the things I like about submission is that it can be whatever you want it to be, and you have the freedom to choose how you want to perceive it. It could be an escape from the real world, yes.  I prefer to perceive it, among other things, as something like an outlet that nurtures more creativity, playfulness, fulfillment and even kinkiness in those things that seemed boring or ordinary or grinding (maybe a grind can be interesting when it's grinding). This play can still be rooted in reality when you want it to be, or not. It's all a matter of perception and imagination. For example, maybe when faced with some boring work, you could build a little game of reward and punishment around it, playing with rules and a fun dominant.

I can certainly tend to seek escapist tendencies in life, and I'm happier when I aim for balance, and progress rather than perfection. Haven't had any concerns yet about escapism in bdsm. If I were feeling concerned about escapist tendencies in an unhealthy way, I would like the idea the dominant quality of a strong anchor that helps guide relief around that concern for escapism / staying rooted in reality, or helps support me in managing solutions around my day-to-day life and schedule so I didn't feel like I needed an escape. Or, maybe a little escape is needed and deserved - the vacation you actually wanted and didn't know how to take. It depends on the context. 

14 hours ago, TechnoViking said:

 Or this submissive inside me is a weakness.

Submission isn't a weakness. It's a strength.  Placing trust in someone. Putting someone else's wants before your own.  

  • 4 months later...

Submission...especially TOTAL is the most liberating and exhilarating feeling for me that I cannot truly describe it. We go as far deeply as we can, surrendering not just my body; but heart, mind, soul, freedom and future. I LOVE how she controls my every (failed) attempt at movement and how she inflicts bodily *** almost with the care and perfection of a master artist...it is a craft for her. I have even surrendered my humanity and granted her total ownership and dominion over me...to the point she considers me a thing or a beast and verbally and psychologically humiliates and degrades me to the point I even try to believe those things she so ***fully says. I absolutely love it and do not want to live any other way...if it was possible (independently wealthy or 6 figure job on her part) I would happily sign a contract for 24/7/365 to her. 


Remembering an NIN song from their early Broken album..."I have found you can find happiness in slavery." Last 3 words being the songs title...but so amazingly true!

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