Where have all the submissive s gone

[Si****]

Is it me or is there a lack of submissive around these days. It feels like the world is full of con artists but genuine submissive seem to be getting less frequent. They have always been the reward of a few….

[FETMOD-KF]

usual.  good for discussion but no "pick me" or general "everyone is a scammer" type nonsense 

[ey****]

"is it me?"

Yes, it's you.

[Deleted Member]

You know, women feel the same way. You look for a Dom and what you find are abusive liars who just want to hurt you. Eventually, you look for something else.

[Deleted Member]

Why did you remove my comment? Did it hit home?

[Deleted Member]

I ask this all the time. I've noticed very little interaction with ones that are here.

[Deleted Member]

Everyone one wants a " daddy" now lol *** *** 🙄

[FETMOD-GP]

55 minutes ago, MistressNicholette said:

Why did you remove my comment? Did it hit home?

Comments have to be approved by a mod if on kink academy. Hope that helps ☺️

[Deleted Member]

All the attention spoilt them. Ultimately the Male and female ratio is the root of the problem.

[Deleted Member]

There confusion about where the power is. It's in the hands of the few lol

[Th****]

I have seen no shortage of Submissives here at all. In fact there is normally more than there are Dominants.
However, I do not subscribe to the 'real submissive' school of thought as I believe we all self identify at the start.
Now there is a difference in the range of experience and of knowledge of the lifestyle in all roles. An easy way to meet people with a greater chance of having more experience of their role is simply their age.
It is not always the case as some younger players are very mature but it is I think unfair to expect a 22 year old Dom or sub to be experienced.

[qu****]

Plenty here, but as mentioned before it's the same as all sites, seemingly more males than females, though more males appear to be more outgoing than females and others who identify in other ways, plus I'd imagine quite a few have put things on the back burner because of covid, also there's a bit of not seeing the wood for the trees

[ey****]

I was a bit short earlier - but - I felt like an exact same copy of what I wrote on "where are the Dommes" could have been written on this thread - so to say the same thing in words in different order

I mean, finding a compatible partner can be hard - you need someone whose brand of weird fits your brand of weird.  But, there are things I think can make it harder for yourself.

If all you see is "con artists" and no "genuine submissives" then this is on your projection and not necessarily the reality.

The question is often - why you ?  Why would you be - not necessarily even a suitable Dominant for them, but someone they'd even be interested in getting to know better.   

A problem is people have this short-sighted view on what a "genuine submissive" is - what they want is someone who will go from 0 to "I'll do anything you say" and most submissives is like... well... fuck that. When that should, at best, be a long term goal and not the opening expectation.

So yeah, you might get people who are "OK, Mr Stranger - I'll come round and do whatever you want, these are my rates..." and folk get offended - but it's like, you don't actually want to be a Dominant with a submissive, you just want someone you can boss about.  That's not Domination - it's laziness.

And like, there's submissives who want different things - and - sure - there are plenty (yes, there are) of submissive who like the idea of being used, beaten, objectified, fucked, whatever - but not with every random stranger on the internet who asks.

Negging people into submission doesn't really work.

[Deleted Member]

In addition to all of the sensible comments - submissives are not a reward. 🙄

[Deleted Member]

I am not being rude or patronising but there are few women on here, and they are not submissive until it’s agreed. Maybe you might need to rephrase it next time.

It’s a small site, depends how far you are willing to connect, amd I found that most profile don’t stay active too long. Covid attracted lots of curious kitten but it’s just stayed that way I am afraid. Pure curiosity not really interested.
I look at my inbox 75% of the one I contacted, few replies and most are inactive, deleted account. Said it all.

[TeeJay_98]

15 hours ago, SirG said:

Is it me or is there a lack of submissive around these days. It feels like the world is full of con artists but genuine submissive seem to be getting less frequent. They have always been the reward of a few….

Okay... After having a really quick read of your profile, I've seen your adverts - that read not so great and more like a job application than an advert. 

'Waiting for a lucky lady' - it makes you sound full of yourself and quite narcissistic to be honest, personally - I steer clear from people that feel the need to present themself as gods gift. 

Theres absolutely nothing at all wrong with stating what you're looking for, but atleast equal that out with the experience you have and what you can offer your potential submissive. 

As someone's previously said, submissives arent a reward, nor are Dominants (and all those inbetween). You can't just call yourself a Dominant and be 'rewarded' with submissives falling at your feet.  

 

This site alone definitely isn't short of submissive’s. Granted theres alot of fakes but no more than anywhere else and definitely enough fake D types to match that. 

Have patience, do some research and work on yourself and your profile whilst waiting for someone to come along, best way. Goodluck. 

 

[Ju****]

Ok so i read these comments, and as TJ above i checked out your profile and adverts.... This is my feedback, or constructive criticism, if you will...

 

1. You have been here 3 weeks (according to profile). This is not really enough time and a bit impatient to expect to find one or more submissives within this time frame.

 

2. On your profile you state this.

"You should be whiling to comply to sirs demands and have a reasonable amount of time spare."

Now.. This reads to me like your assuming someone will call you 'Sir' straight off the bat. Perhaps rewording this... 

"Ideally i would like to find someone willing to comply with any tasks and/or demands should be reach a stage where a dynamic is reached. I would appreciate someone who has time for a regular meet up."

If i was reading your profile as it is now i would automatically click off due to that exact sentence. Wording is very important on this site. Profiles are the very first impression we get of someone.

 

3. Your adverts (as mentioned above) do seem more like an application, very formal. This for me is a put off as i hope to find relationships or dynamics not a job interview. The "lucky lady" comment would make me skip this ad. It does read very bigheaded. You do seem to have a lot of requirements which is fine, but ad states to be able to travel to you or be local... this doesnt seem like you wish to make that same effort for "a lucky lady".

 

and the grand finale. 

 

4.  While i checked out your profile to reply thoroughly to this post you seen i was a visitor and you private mailed me 

"Hello jennifer baby."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is what you are doing wrong. 

No where on my profile does it state i am a "baby." I have a partner and i ask for nothing but respect. A message calling someone baby on here, quite frankly its derogatory. If you dont know them and as an opening message, if i wasnt replying on here i would have blocked you straight off. 

You have also mailed me again saying 

Your profile is a hard as fuck but that’s not unusual. I’m not a switch. We would only work with you in submission but I like your profile so I decide to write."

 

Absolutely NO. You need to take a step back on this site if this is how you think you can get someone to drop into submission for you. It is nothing but disrespectful and as a Dom i would run a hundred miles from you. Work on this. Please change your approach and think about the human being on the other end of messages.

 

I am sorry to be so blunt but please listen to advice given on here. 

[Ja****]

I'll chip in my opinion on this also, for what it's worth. Apart from agreeing with what everyone else has said I do not think there is a shortage of submissives. If anything, I think that the ratio of submissives to Dominants is 3:1, at least.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, JackReeves said:

I'll chip in my opinion on this also, for what it's worth. Apart from agreeing with what everyone else has said I do not think there is a shortage of submissives. If anything, I think that the ratio of submissives to Dominants is 3:1, at least.

We're just in camouflage...

[Si****]

Thank you all for your kind comments. You have to love the ones that have nothing better to do than beat up on another Dom. New to this site don’t mean new. Anyway, not wasting my time with you guys. I’m heat for something more special than you guys

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, JackReeves said:

I'll chip in my opinion on this also, for what it's worth. Apart from agreeing with what everyone else has said I do not think there is a shortage of submissives. If anything, I think that the ratio of submissives to Dominants is 3:1, at least.

Have you counted them all 😂

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, JenniferTP said:

Ok so i read these comments, and as TJ above i checked out your profile and adverts.... This is my feedback, or constructive criticism, if you will...

 

1. You have been here 3 weeks (according to profile). This is not really enough time and a bit impatient to expect to find one or more submissives within this time frame.

 

2. On your profile you state this.

"You should be whiling to comply to sirs demands and have a reasonable amount of time spare."

Now.. This reads to me like your assuming someone will call you 'Sir' straight off the bat. Perhaps rewording this... 

"Ideally i would like to find someone willing to comply with any tasks and/or demands should be reach a stage where a dynamic is reached. I would appreciate someone who has time for a regular meet up."

If i was reading your profile as it is now i would automatically click off due to that exact sentence. Wording is very important on this site. Profiles are the very first impression we get of someone.

 

3. Your adverts (as mentioned above) do seem more like an application, very formal. This for me is a put off as i hope to find relationships or dynamics not a job interview. The "lucky lady" comment would make me skip this ad. It does read very bigheaded. You do seem to have a lot of requirements which is fine, but ad states to be able to travel to you or be local... this doesnt seem like you wish to make that same effort for "a lucky lady".

 

and the grand finale. 

 

4.  While i checked out your profile to reply thoroughly to this post you seen i was a visitor and you private mailed me 

"Hello jennifer baby."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is what you are doing wrong. 

No where on my profile does it state i am a "baby." I have a partner and i ask for nothing but respect. A message calling someone baby on here, quite frankly its derogatory. If you dont know them and as an opening message, if i wasnt replying on here i would have blocked you straight off. 

You have also mailed me again saying 

Your profile is a hard as fuck but that’s not unusual. I’m not a switch. We would only work with you in submission but I like your profile so I decide to write."

 

Absolutely NO. You need to take a step back on this site if this is how you think you can get someone to drop into submission for you. It is nothing but disrespectful and as a Dom i would run a hundred miles from you. Work on this. Please change your approach and think about the human being on the other end of messages.

 

I am sorry to be so blunt but please listen to advice given on here. 

I'm amazed you still wrote a fairly polite review of his profile when he's behaved like that towards you! I have no patience anymore. So the OP has perhaps discovered that are no doormats on the site, but plenty of ballsy submissives. 😁

[Ju****]

33 minutes ago, SirG said:

Thank you all for your kind comments. You have to love the ones that have nothing better to do than beat up on another Dom. New to this site don’t mean new. Anyway, not wasting my time with you guys. I’m heat for something more special than you guys

This is the level of respect and consideration you have shown us. 

 

From my comment alone due to my short experience with you, you are not holding good ropes for this lifestyle. 

Not even an apology for who you spoke to me, i can only just say i am glad this forum post will be here so any future submissive who looks you up may see how you have behaved when challenged. 

 

Pick up your dummy and get back on your feet and work to make things better instead of throwing insults. 

Good luck.

[Ju****]

25 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I'm amazed you still wrote a fairly polite review of his profile when he's behaved like that towards you! I have no patience anymore. So the OP has perhaps discovered that are no doormats on the site, but plenty of ballsy submissives. 😁

To be honest, i am a switch and in learning. But this has made me see, from my small interaction with him (or him to me i should say) that many many women are obviously greeted with this. Its alarming how disrespectful their experience is gonna feel the moment it begins. 

I hope he sorts himself out because women do not deserve this from him. Or anyone. 

[Ar****]

32 minutes ago, SirG said:

Anyway, not wasting my time with you guys. I’m heat for something more special than you guys

That's disappointing to read; if you had taken the time to get to know some of the people who have been "beating up" on (read: trying to help) you, you might have realised just how much they have to offer.

 

My twopenneth to answer your original question - there most certainly is not a lack of submissives around these days, an abundance of whom seek the right partner/s. Extrapolate from that what you will...