Subs Are Not Pot Noodles

[AKA_Copper]

And submission isn’t something you just add water to and get after 3mins. We aren't insta subs ready and willing to serve your hunger. Submission needs to be tended to over a hot stove one degree of warmth at a time with one spoonful of love, two of respect, and four of trust.

Our sense of duty maybe inherent. It means in some relationships we may feign submission before the warmth draws it out. Maybe it's sub frenzy/new relationship energy, but it's dangerous, a definite mistake and one that will take time to recover from.

Slow submission has a inbuilt safety mechanisms. It arrives naturally like the tide, drawn by lunar ***. It submits because it needs to, it’s drawn to, because it’s adored, because it’s impossible to respond any other way. It may not prostrate itself until it feels safe, but that’s how a sub survives in a community crawling with predators, especially when its predominately online and can be pretty insular for most.

Many a Dominant has accused me of being a fake sub because I have the word “submissive” on my profile, I must therefore submit on their terms: immediately, blindly, and stupidly. If I don’t, I’m a fraud, they'll say, but maybe that opinion points to a deficiency in their Dominance rather than my submission?

Power exchange is not a Pot Noodle. Its not artifical flavourings or additives. It’s made of all the best ingredients. To create a D/s dynamic, you must shred the herbs and treat the stock with all the patience it needs, to draw out the flavours just right. An enth of Dominance earns an enth of submission. An enth of submission, in turn, earns Dominance. The two play off each other one sliver of deference at a time. In the end, both roles emerge because they are nurtured.

A Dominant who doesn’t see the need for all that care is a Dominant who doesn’t value submission. And a Dominant like that will treat their sub like a cheap thing they can throw against walls and trample underfoot.

A Dominant like that can’t earn submission, they have no choice but to demand it. A story that which we sadly hear so much about and one which can only end in one way.

Power exchange is too refined to rush. It’s not a one-size-fits-all dynamic, ready to go on your whim. You must start from scratch with every partner, shredding the parsley this coarsely, drying the rosemary just so, drawing out the scents on a slow simmer.

Take your time. It’s not a Pot Noodle

[typhoon2]

Well said. A lot of Dominants cannot tell the difference between a bottom and a submissive. Insta-gratification trumps development of the relationship. They are so missing out...

[Deleted Member]

Perfectly put my lady...anything worth having takes time and effort. So many forget that simple rule. x

[BigPolly]

♥️

[Ar****]

Yessssss!! 😍

[Ae****]

Pot noodles 😍

[Deleted Member]

💯 I hate pot noodles any way

[kb****]

Amen 😉

[TheBookCollector]

Spot on, although its not limited to just Doms trating s-types this way, it also happens the otherway. With s-types.trating doms as kink dispensers. Very few people want to put the effort into developing a relationship anymore.

[Deleted Member]

TheBookCollector that’s is so true or a curiosity to brag to their friends that they know one ☝️

[Leisa]

Thanking for putting the humor aside and warning subs, both new and old, that there are insta Doms ready to prey on those who are too trusting at times. Any relationship with its salt should start off slowly to be developed over time. Friendship and trust go hand in hand in the beginning to have a solid foundation. There needs to be that drawn out getting to know you phase inter spread with light play. I’m a switch who leans both ways depending on my partner in crime and for me I need those qualities in a partner, whether they’re the sub or Dom in that moment. You’re spot on with this warning and it’s appreciated even for those of us who have been in this lifestyle for ages.

[De****]

Very well written 💜💜

[Deleted Member]

I love this so much. My submission has to be earned, not demanded. I get so tired of insta-doms, who don't even bother to learn my safe words or limits, just immediately jumping into  kinky stuff. Sometimes I can get them to calm the hell down, and get to know me, but more often than not, they just treat me poorly, like my submission to something they are entitled to and don't have to earn. 

[Phoenyx]

I suppose that it works the other way, as well.  Too many subs want to serve themselves up to Dom/mes, like a pre-made TV dinner.  I, like many others, prefer to savor the development of a relationship.  There is something to be said about using fresh ingredients, and the creative application of spices.  But, as has been mentioned, we seem stuck in the era of processed food and instant gratification.  The art of earning submission seems almost lost; the joy of drawing it forth, nearly forgotten.  I've done my time in the kink-for-hire biz.  When I don my leather, I wish it to feel like something special---not just another day at the office.