Punishments In Dynamics

[CopperKnob]

9 minutes ago, Sozu said:

For me, punishments (as opposed to funishments) have no place in a relationship I’d be willing to participate in. Funishments and punishments can look the same from the outside, in method, intensity, whatever - but my view is that the agreement on what, why, when, how is what frames which it is, along with the right to say no. This is part of my wider view that. D/s dynamic should be wrapped in equality. And that equality wrapper means that if a relationship is hitting a bump moment, I feel the response needs to be stepping out of the dynamic for conversation on an equal plane.

It also feels a good idea to me to build in regular checkpoints for such a conversation, regardless of whether anything obvious is off kilter. As a relationship develops and the parties get to know each other and themselves more in the context of that relationship, new ideas, likes, dislikes, desires, etc may surface. A quick check-in and reset can ensure everyone is good with what they’re getting, giving and feeling

I love the W questions and absolutely, to my mind any relationship 'should' be an equal partnership. Not always the case

[ol****]

I'm going to answer this from the other end as it were.

It is 100% possible to have a D/s dynamic with no punishment no *** and no ***. You can still base it on power exchange.

It is also possible to have an element of ***, funishment and *** in the Dynamic. If it starts to focus on punishment as the goal of the D then I start to question if it is D/s or something else.

 

[ey****]

there was a good post on twitter the other day about D/s, particularly FLR - which was - you can have a FLR without *any kink at all* 

[Koby]

I don't include punishments within my relationships because I don't implement any rules which require punishments.

I generally like the concept of every action can either have a positive or negative reaction.

If I create a rule around self-care, the consequences of poor self-care is punishment enough.

Sometimes your partner needs direction or guidance, this has a much greater impact on modifying behaviour.

[Je****]

Haven't read everything to a whole, but the word "punishment", I am not a fan of it. I much prefer the "funishment" word. 

I think Punishment is just cruel and would make me feel like a naughty child. And not in the good sense... No one likes to be chastised, in play or outside of it, I'd imagine. 

For me though, the worst kind of Punishment would be ignorance. Being ignored, even the thought of ignoring someone I am meant to be in a meaningful dynamic with... I think ignoring them, or being ignorant is just so fucking low and I know and have seen/heard/read of many people who are into all forms of play, who have "bratted" or "misbehaved" and ended up "ignored" as a Punishment. No one can consent to that, or even communicate to challenge it, as they are being ignored. A bit off in replies but it's just what came to mind. I think Funishments are more.... kind. 

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, Finally_Jen said:

Haven't read everything to a whole, but the word "punishment", I am not a fan of it. I much prefer the "funishment" word. 

I think Punishment is just cruel and would make me feel like a naughty child. And not in the good sense... No one likes to be chastised, in play or outside of it, I'd imagine. 

For me though, the worst kind of Punishment would be ignorance. Being ignored, even the thought of ignoring someone I am meant to be in a meaningful dynamic with... I think ignoring them, or being ignorant is just so fucking low and I know and have seen/heard/read of many people who are into all forms of play, who have "bratted" or "misbehaved" and ended up "ignored" as a Punishment. No one can consent to that, or even communicate to challenge it, as they are being ignored. A bit off in replies but it's just what came to mind. I think Funishments are more.... kind. 

The only time punishment/s are appropriate are for those who make others feel inferior for mistakes. Simple human errors. Just my view.
Now, funishments...completely different

[BrattySubSlaveSarah]

Me and my partner recently made a contract to be slave/master and we included a section where it said certain actions would be punished such as removal of phone/iPad, standing in a naughty corner lol , sleep on the floor nothing that inflicts *** and I’m completely ok with it we don’t do the *** things and I think that’s ok, it’s just a way to get me to learn how he wants to behave, I don’t feel a chat about it would do very much personally. They have all been agreed so I think in that situation if both are happy for it to happen then it’s ok. 

[bashful707]

Total newbie here 👋 the only punishment I got turned me off from the subject 🤷🏻‍♀️
It all pretty much confuses me now