New sub wants advise

[te****]

I think it depends on your specific dynamic. If kissing is off the cards then that's specific to what you two have. If it's what you crave then ask if it can be added as a treat ? Until you ask you'll never know

[Deleted Member]

Honestly I'm slightly uncomfortable with the fact that he told you Doms and subs don't kiss, as opposed to the fact that he does not like to kiss in that way in a Ds dynamic. Lots of Doms and subs french kiss. He doesn't, and that's fine... but he shouldn't be telling you it's a hard and fast rule in Ds dynamics bc it isn't.

[Ch****]

It's his preference rather than a rule for all D/s relationships.

[Deleted Member]

It is an individual choice - other Find and dubs do kiss, French or otherwise. He needs to own it as his preference/rule rather than say it's an absolute rule.

[Cu****]

Is it a sexual ds relationship? If not, then that’s totally normal and if so then it’s unusual.

[Deleted Member]

It is a loving 24/7 relationship

[Deleted Member]

NaughtyNat. Only because he told me. We have spilt today anyway. No matter now. I was disobedient. No idea why.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for all your advice. Now I know it's just him.

[Deleted Member]

I’m so sorry. Sounds like he really was inexperienced.

[lo****]

Shame, plenty more Dom’s in the dungeon 😈⛓🪢

[ny****]

It’s not normal. I’ve never had a D/s dynamic that didn’t involve kissing. You may have dodged a bullet and be lucky to split.

[Ds****]

I know it won’t feel like it right now, but seems maybe you have had a lucky escape

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Cheekysub247 said:

As said below, it depends on the people involved, i would say just approach with a little caution, anyone that blanket rules saying 'doms/subs do such and such' rather than 'my preference is to do such and such' is a bit of a red flag for me x

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, GoodSub61 said:

NaughtyNat. Only because he told me. We have spilt today anyway. No matter now. I was disobedient. No idea why.

No you weren’t disobedient that’s him trying to gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault it didn’t work out. He’s in the wrong for saying that no Dominant kiss their sub/slave when it’s his preference. I hate to say it, I am glad you are not with this person from the looks of it he was going to *** you, clearly he’s fake and no experience whatsoever. Always vet the person, do a long vetting, and don’t always believe what they tell you, try to have your need met otherwise it won’t work. Most important if you don’t know something always ask here

Edited February 16, 2022 by Deleted Member

[lo****]

Good advice, sounds like he was into just bullying you, hopefully you will find that one, he’s out there somewhere, or maybe a she, nice, keep it kink 😈

[ol****]

Some good advice in this thread. Vet the next one carefully.

[na****]

Trust your instincts. Never doubt them. We all make mistakes, but are forever learning as individuals 💞 Doesn’t make you wrong by any means. Take care 😘

[Deleted Member]

He never told me before we met that he didn't kiss. We have been online Dom and sub and 2.5 months

[Deleted Member]

My view, I have lived 24/7 but in the end it is what works for those 2 (or more) people. Good luck with finding the yang to your ying.

[be****]

I love kissing my sub especially after she did oral on me. Sure some may say I kissed my own dixk but to each their own. I like the kinky side of both of us.

[Re****]

You met a bully not a dom. Kissing is good and often used as a reward. Glad for you you let him go. A proper wannabe!

[Th****]

I agree with all of the above, I cannot imagine not kissing my sub let alone breaking up with her for being "disobedient". I do hope that you have better luck next time and find a caring Dom.

[ol****]

14 hours ago, GoodSub61 said:

He never told me before we met that he didn't kiss. We have been online Dom and sub and 2.5 months

As I said, ask more questions next time. talk about limits, consent, prefrences.

Also make sure you have something in common or that you like the idea of being polar opposites in terms of music, art, culture, food etc.

[Deleted Member]

He cancelled our date because I was disobedient. Without telling me what I had done. He had been ignoring me all day, though he said he hadn't. I called it a day because he had hurt me yet again. He was just too cruel. Even though it breaks my heart to walk I am walking.

[Deleted Member]

Old Fellow. We did discuss all sexual likes and dislikes and general interests. I have never heard of anyone not kissing before so it wasn't a question I thought I needed to ask.