New sub wants advise

[jw****]

This person was using (possibly abusing) you and your submission and your emotions. You are much better without this person. Your submission is powerful. Give it to a person who deserves you.

[Deleted Member]

Ya that’s not a thing. I kiss my brat all the time. But they will know why I do that and I don’t just up and cancel plans with them. Just change what may happen on the date.

[Italianstyle]

Maybe depends of the Dom .. for me absolutely YES
If I want my sub/slave must kiss me .. I could be available to decide before that but for me really need to

[Re****]

Crap that you had this experience. It kinda shocks me you had to ask this question (no shade on you); that someone could suggest to you ‘Doms and subs don’t kiss’. I’m glad you’ve gotten such a resounding response and seems like you’re on the way to greater awareness and better ability to choose what you need in the future..
Kissing, like any act between two or more, requires consent. If it’s a limit it ought to be communicated as such; as opposed to a fake Dom making up BS to manipulate you or hide his own insecurities.
We fluctuate for sure, and kissing might be undesirable at some times, you should both be able to communicate this in a healthy Ds dynamic. Read up on CCCC and other consent practices.
As always I recommend getting as clear as possible about your own needs and wants, research red and green flags from Doms, and don’t be afraid to step back from someone that can’t meet your needs. good luck. You deserve better x

[Re****]

16 hours ago, GoodSub61 said:

He cancelled our date because I was disobedient. Without telling me what I had done. He had been ignoring me all day, though he said he hadn't. I called it a day because he had hurt me yet again. He was just too cruel. Even though it breaks my heart to walk I am walking.

This is an issue of Basic Human Decency; making and breaking agreements with integrity. Just sounds to me like he’s hiding.

[Deleted Member]

16 hours ago, GoodSub61 said:

He cancelled our date because I was disobedient. Without telling me what I had done. He had been ignoring me all day, though he said he hadn't. I called it a day because he had hurt me yet again. He was just too cruel. Even though it breaks my heart to walk I am walking.

It his job to tell you if something wrong happened so it won’t be done again instead just disregarding you And not telling you what happened. He poor lack of communication it’s bad too 

[cautiousswitch]

When you say new sub in the post topic, do you mean new to the lifestyle or new to this particular relationship? Jumping into a 24/7 relationship when "new" is risky.  You say you've always been kinky so I'm assuming you've done some research, but a little practice is advised before making such a commitment.

Somebody else questioned what proof he gave of his experience.  Considering that he spoke of his preferences as if they are general rules this is a legitimate question.

[Deleted Member]

Never heard of non kissing especially french kissing. Thats a got too in my book. Cant beat gently sucking on your Subs Tongue.. so erotic......

[Deleted Member]

Good for you, he doesnt respect you A, as a woman, B, as a Submissive. You deserve better.

[Ja****]

I see that as a red flag. What’s “usual” or not doesn’t really matter. If he’s dismissing your needs and feelings, that’s a problem. Being a sub doesn’t mean that what’s important to you doesn’t matter. A good dom should respect that.

[Ab****]

Definitely a red flag - that doesn't sound like a 2 way street at all...

[na****]

February 22, ShropShireDom70 said:

Good for you, he doesnt respect you A, as a woman, B, as a Submissive. You deserve better.

Just doesn’t respect women!!!!

[na****]

1 minute ago, naughtynat said:

Just doesn’t respect women!!!!

Don’t be fooled darling 💖

[na****]

Sometimes sweet there are just “Doms” that want to sit in a chair, hide behind a computer screen and play with themselves. They lie, lie & lie! They’re pathetic! You are worth so much more than these sad, sad,sad people 💞

[na****]

Not your fault sweet! Sometimes guys just sit in their chairs, on their keyboards with nothing better to do…fake “insta Dom’s!” They’ve absolutely no clue. DKe care 💞

[ny****]

There are many “online Doms” who never want to go beyond the computer screen. They use online subs as masturbation material and have no interest in the needs of their sub. Meanwhile the sub gets attached and ends up getting hurt in the process. Usually a lack of French kissing as a limit is a limit on intimacy (akin to sex workers who don’t provide gfe) I’ve never had that limit and it seems like the only way you would is if your Dom views you as property as opposed to a submissive with your own needs and desires.

[Deleted Member]

He quoted as " i don't kiss like ***agers kiss"

[Ne****]

It’s essential to me personally as a dom. Sticking my tongue in her mouth is a form of domination from my point of view. However I do understand his position. For some people a detached distance from their subject is important and kissing may undermine that distance. It’s a kink in and of itself. You just need to decide if it’s a kink your compatible with.

There are perhaps ways to adapt it to your liking such as a game where you must earn a reluctant kiss from your master through some trial or behaviour. But just communicate openly with him about this. A ban on kissing is neither normal or abnormal, it’s just his kink.

[Ne****]

I politely disagree that this is necessarily a *** of intimacy on his part. There are many other possible reasons including it simply being a kink for denying something from his sub or even himself.

[na****]

1 hour ago, GoddessFaygolette said:

That would be more of an example of limits and boundaries. It is a common practice, however not a standard. Each d/s relationship is its own dynamic with its own rules and boundaries. Communication is key. Try writing a contract, it may simplify things.

No offence GoddessFaygolette…a contract? This isn’t exactly FSOG now.💞 As you say, communication is key, we can do that with both our minds and our mouths as adults, no? 💖

[an****]

F**k I won’t take that

[Cr****]

The idea of ‘usual’ or ‘normal’ doesn’t really apply in my mind when it comes to dynamics. There are so many myriads of varying preferences that kinksters enjoy that it’s very hard to label any behaviors as ‘typical’ or not.

I have been with partners who didn’t kiss and those who insisted on it. It’s not something I would call unusual, but is one of those details I would have made my potential sun aware of before hey made a decision to serve me.

[Li****]

Wait when I get a daddy dom I can't kiss him😪

[ny****]

3 hours ago, LittleLilyGirlx said:

Wait when I get a daddy dom I can't kiss him😪

Daddy’s give their babygirls all the kisses they want and then some. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read and that Dom has some real issues with treating their sub as a human being and not property.

[Se****]

Lord, for a non judgemental community, there are some people who can’t handle others doing things differently at all.