I'm a Cowardly Sub

[CopperKnob]

I’m not a brave sub. I am in fact a coward. I’m terrified of:

• too much ***
• Not being submissive enough

• Losing my shit to sub frenzy again, whips, knifes, scars, ***, needles...

Perhaps I should just delete my account, turn off the lights and hide under my duvet now?

I’m scared of everything to do with kink. I prefer Doms who have huge, fluffy hearts and a wit that can cut me into a million pieces in under a second. I like sadists to be unscary and funny because that barbwire covered baseball bat over there is never going to look unscary. It's also not going anywhere near me!!

I’ve come across sadists who have box jellyfish or stalking and cutting your throat whilst youre hanging from the shower curtain pole. They have false widow spiders crawling around in their imaginations. Their idea of a good time is poking a bear before running down a hill (fun fact, bears CAN run down hills and, have you seen the length of their claws and canines?)

That’s too much darkness for me. I don’t want to have anything to do with your *** fetish. Death is not a fun concept for me. I prefer BDSM to be wrapped up in a sense of humour and tons of cuddling. I do not care if you think I’m a crap masochist. I won’t even care if you call me vanilla.

If you want to find out a sub who can take the barbed wire covered baseball bat, go ahead. It’s definitely not me. If you’re looking for one of those masochists who takes off their clothes at parties, they're over there. I’ll be in this corner with my very own Tickle Me Elmo type Dom friend.

I only have one kink label: “me”, and part of it entails being a coward.

A proud coward.

Because, I have no plans to go to Oz and ask the Wizard for courage.

My entire kink journey has terrified me. My first meet with a kinky person was so scary my mouth felt like a desert and I literally died before I arrived. Okay, not literally, but I was so anxious might as well have been walking into the bears den.

And yet, the first kinky people I met were normal people. The first munch I went to, everyone was really nice. I'm sure it'll be the same at the next one even if it's not at the Emerald City.

[NylonDom]

Carry on dont stop

[Tr****]

Never compromise yourself for someone else. There is no blueprint for a “perfect” sub. Your limits are valid and you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone! Keep your chin up ^.^

[Deleted Member]

Your limits are there to be respected no matter what. There are Doms out there for you that will recognise your needs, respect them and you will both flourish

[DeviantInside]

100% agree with a lot of the already expressed sentiments. There is no right or wrong way to be a sub or a Dom (aside from certain dangerous/abusive practices), ONLY the right way for those involved. It should only ever be a mutually beneficial experience. And yes, whilst kink does attract more than it's share of narcissists, bullies, ***rs and worse, I was fortunate enough to get introduced to an amazing crowd of people on the London scene, and they are truly some of the most welcoming, caring, genuine people it has ever been my privilege to meet.

So keep doing and being you, don't worry about being anything you're not and find the person to compliment that.

[BadDesires]

No shame in having boundaries especially when someone else has some very extreme kinks. Sorry to hear you had to face such a negative experience, hopefully you have better luck finding someone who can give you something closer to what you are looking for without making you feel so uncomfortable.

[ge****]

You're far from cowardly CK - bravery isn't measured in terms of how much you can take, or how willing you are, or extreme you can be, rather in terms of knowing yourself, your boundaries and limits and being prepared to stand up for them.
.
Never stop being you and seeking what *you* want, and if that's Doms with huge fluffy hearts and cutting wit, nothing is to say you are wrong for wanting it - it may mean your selection of prospectives is smaller, but ultimately if it's what you want it's what you should seek.
.
And should things start to get scary, you can always click those ruby slippers and head back to Kansas 😊

[Deleted Member]

Any online community has a negative underbelly. It’s always important to take a step back and ask is this helping or hindering you. I’ve taken breaks and deleted former accounts. Resiliency is more important than submission. 🤍

[Eastbourneguy]

The right Dom is out there for you, and he will be supportive

[Ki****]

You are you, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You're not cowardly at all.

[Puppy6411]

There's nothing cowardly in standing by your limits. Actually a lot braver than doing what you think you ought to.
Personally "because everyone else does" has never struck me as a good reason to do anything.

[NylonDom]

We all have limits, and yours as well as everyones should be respected

[Ch****]

Had to look up the habitat for box jellyfish and wondered in what tropical ocean were you playing to encounter a box jellyfish-toting dom.
But seriously, I'm happy you wrote this. Not to disparage those with darker fantasies, but I don't think you can spell "play" without p-l-a-y. Even dark play has to be fun for everyone. Safe is safe, and everyone should know it's safe. But in the end, it should be fun. IMHO. It feels weird to think that our opinion could possibly be in the minority. ...I can't believe it is.

[Deleted Member]

Your Kink, your way. Always. Never, ever any exceptions. Lioness xxxx

[CopperKnob]

20 hours ago, gemini_man said:

You're far from cowardly CK - bravery isn't measured in terms of how much you can take, or how willing you are, or extreme you can be, rather in terms of knowing yourself, your boundaries and limits and being prepared to stand up for them.
.
Never stop being you and seeking what *you* want, and if that's Doms with huge fluffy hearts and cutting wit, nothing is to say you are wrong for wanting it - it may mean your selection of prospectives is smaller, but ultimately if it's what you want it's what you should seek.
.
And should things start to get scary, you can always click those ruby slippers and head back to Kansas 😊

😂😂😂 excellent! I forgot about the slippers

[CopperKnob]

2 hours ago, ChromeDom said:

Had to look up the habitat for box jellyfish and wondered in what tropical ocean were you playing to encounter a box jellyfish-toting dom.
But seriously, I'm happy you wrote this. Not to disparage those with darker fantasies, but I don't think you can spell "play" without p-l-a-y. Even dark play has to be fun for everyone. Safe is safe, and everyone should know it's safe. But in the end, it should be fun. IMHO. It feels weird to think that our opinion could possibly be in the minority. ...I can't believe it is.

I'll always be a zoo keeper at heart 😂
Absolutely, YKINMK and that's ok etc but, i think sometimes things, impact especially can get competitive. I was saying yesterday that it's almost an olympic sport, who has the biggest bruise, the meanest toy and everyones egging everyone else on. If that's 'your' thing, fine but for some finding their feet, i'm sure it can be disconcerting and spark feelings of inadequacy which, is furthest from the truth

[Vi****]

Ah Copper if your a cowardly sub then I'm a cowardly woman who likes to dominate men, but in kind of the same way as you describe.  Just keep being your fabulous self and there will be thst special someone who is all those things and more. 😙

[Ky****]

you hit on important lesson, the best ppl to practice kink with are those who are mostly normal ppl, 

[MrLeatherCrotchBoots]

CopperKnob

There is nothing wrong with liking what you like or wanting what you want however soft and fluffy it is.

Respecting limits is the most important thing in this game of kink

[BadDesires]

Soft and fluffy, no wonder ladies like there rabbits.

[so****]

Damn sounds like you've been hanging around the wrong kinds of people lol sadists in general, in my experience, are all a bit off. I suppose you'd have to be, right? lol but what you describe is next level. Just run from people like that. Yes, BDSM should be about humor, trust, & honesty. Unfortunately, there's a hardcore circle of disturbed people out there who give it the bad reputation you allude to. Drop those monsters & start hanging around the "normal" BDSM community. We do exist, we're just greatly outnumbered by the assholes it seems 😂