Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 (Im not bitching and moaning, Im confused to what I am still doing wrong. Im confused to why I am treated poorly and why the kink community in general is a nightmare.)I have been here a little over 2 months and I have had nothing but the worst experineces. Every single person I have spoken to on here either has been fake, a scammer, or expected me to pay for sex. I have had the misfortune of spending 2 weeks chatting with someone and got the "well I meet someone else on here and I just like talking to you." WTF! (I know we can all relate to this, but this is honestly 90% of my interactions with humans in general. Tinder, Bumble, Okcupid, Plenty of Fish, Eharmony(I actually got a full refund from them), AFF, Fetlife, and now here.) I know this isnt a hookup site and that isnt what I want, but how is it that every single person has been a bust? I have sent over 300 messages on here, thats a lot of talking. My local area is apparently a graveyard and the events around here are a sham, I am putting in literal work to find what I am looking for. (I am treating people with respect, I am being direct and clear on my motives and intent, I try to be kind and understanding to others, and not be a creep.) I am actively trying to find the solution or the fix, (well short of reconstructing my whole damn face.) I can't fix whatever it is if I dont know.
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 I felt this deep in my soul ! I'm sorry this is happening to you đź’›
ey**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 I think there are some people who are in remote areas where it is excessively difficult to meet people - and I do actually have a lot of... well, i understand frustrations it is good to have people you enjoy talking with even if it isn't heading towards a relationship or isn't heading there. yet...Â
Mi**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 I've had similar experiences using all of those dating apps. Too many scammers or simply no replies to what I believe to be genuine interests in seemingly like-minded women. Silence. Crickets. Or, after a match and a hello, being ghosted. Un-real.
Ea**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 Thanks for sharing! Wish u all the best against this frustration
Zu**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 London is crap (when it comes to meaning relationships). All the appsare crap. Post-covid world is crappier than before (before it was crap but the smell was less stinky). But if after so many apps you still can't find what you are looking for, there is any chance that you are looking in the wrong place(s)?? If you have crystal clear what you want, eventually you must be able to find it.
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 18 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: I think there are some people who are in remote areas where it is excessively difficult to meet people - and I do actually have a lot of... well, i understand frustrations it is good to have people you enjoy talking with even if it isn't heading towards a relationship or isn't heading there. yet... I used to live in a very rural area and understand that some people are just screwed when it comes to that, but I have lived in a University City for over 3 uears now, so I cant really use that excuse anymore.
sW**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 It's the same for most people here. I agree it has become problematic to seek connection on apps, etc. Women tend to get intrusive messages: "hey, b****. Come be my slave." Or, "are you a sugarbaby?" Or people asking personal questions to fish for passwords, etc. That's about 40% of all contact in my experience. Another 30% is vanilla people looking for hook-ups with "freaky people" when they really just want a bj while they play FPS. Then, 20% are messages from people who didn't read your profile, and don't respect your likes/dislikes and opinions. So, 10% of all communication is from legit kinksters who are mature and conscientious enough to even be worth the time. Among that 10%, maybe a quarter are compatible and want to meet IRL.
Mo**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 I’ve ran into the same issues as well. Or like what you said they seem fine in messages until you meet them in person. Then you realize they never told you about underlying issues that they have. A lot of the communication is just off on so many levels.
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 Internet dating is shit. Real world kink is great. Get out there
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 Rest assured, it's definitely not your fault, and you're certainly not the only one this has happened to. The world is changing, and everything this community has ever stood for has changed, and the internet has been a big contributor to that. Be patient, you too will meet the right one.
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 I feel like the interest just paused at some point as well it’s quite difficult on here x some pointers would be helpful
me**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 You'll find someone eventually. Stay strong brother đź’Ş
Lo**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 Starting by the point that knowing people online is always worst than meeting them in person. Because you just don't have all the informations a person constantly gives you through facial expressions, body language and emotional connection, so you both know each other incredibly less and then it's easier that everything goes south very fast and very abruptly. Add that to the fact that we live in a alienated society were the first reaction when something goes bad or incomprehention occurs is ghosting and you have the picture. Then you should ask yourself too how you live relationships and what you're seeking through them and through which dynamics; because sometimes we just keep asking to the others to be what we missed previously in life recreating always the same relationship shape, dynamics and outputs over and over and over again
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 Same issue.just spent 3 weeks chatting to work out it was all a scam to get me for cash.
ze**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 Its because of the social media high school mentality wormed it's way into this community like the regular dating community with its obscene standards and that's just for the very very few real women. The rest is just a digital playground for scammers, tricksters, pranksters, hookers, content sellers and the latest trend club promoters who try to get us to blindly come to an obscenely price club to up their attendance post covid. Like a serious person would really do the first meet like that. I'm with you brother, I send respectful first message and give the same respect I'm shown until they play these obvious games, they're getting predictable lol. I'm upfront and honest, try to make the first meet something casual like coffee to start things right. People suck and they are slowly ruining all the good things and it sucks more they are ruining this. This is suppose to be a safe trustworthy community, where did the good people go. We are supposed to shed the outside bs and explore with each other. Keeping fighting the good fight
sW**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 However, engaging in the forum and posting ideas, opinions on the thread are good ways to attract actual people who like your style and ways. If you come at it with numbers and time in mind, you will make yourself feel bad for no reason. And, this isn't transactional. "I did x, y, and z...so where's my abc?" doesn't work. And, frankly, it can *seem* falsely entitled. And nobody is entitled to another person's attention.
MrLeatherCrotchBoots Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 It is not easy to find what you are after but be open and honest with people about what you want, root out the scammers and time wasters and eventually you should find what you are after
Deleted Member Posted June 29, 2022 Author Posted June 29, 2022 Honestly that’s just why I think meeting people face to face will always be better. I could recommend going on sites like Omegle for the free webcam, but a lot of people on there are in their early 30s or younger
Va**** Posted June 29, 2022 Posted June 29, 2022 Kinda the same for myself, I try to keep the chivalry going whenever I chat to someone on here. So far the last two months I get chatting and get on well but majority is just looking for sex and no way of being friends. I found a place in Cork city that's for meet ups for gay men but they do hold swinger events during the evenings apparently. I just look for a conversation then see where if goes from there bit I do know what you mean by being yourself and then told to go elsewhere with whomever you were chatting on here.
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