Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 Congratulations everyone! Everyone here had to spit, give their opinion, and a few had to joke about it if necessary. Very mature of you all. Who read their profile before giving out their nonsense? This man is a veteran, has fought for our freedom and suffered psychological problems as a result. What grown idiots here.
Na**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 3 hours ago, Mathbro said: Oregon isn't better...for those looking for an exclusive LTR at least. I mean my options for kink sex would dramatically open if I dropped this requirement but eh, some things matter more than lust. Not saying Oregon is better; just saying maybe your location isn’t good for what OP is looking for.
CopperKnob Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 22 minutes ago, Traveler said: Congratulations everyone! Everyone here had to spit, give their opinion, and a few had to joke about it if necessary. Very mature of you all. Who read their profile before giving out their nonsense? This man is a veteran, has fought for our freedom and suffered psychological problems as a result. What grown idiots here. Pretty sure the most recent wars (disregarding Ukraine) have been about oil
ey**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 Not wishing to sound heartless or disrespectful - but... I don't think we should hold anyone who is a veteran in any higher regard than anyone else, nor give them any special passes, etc. Among anything else, the minimum length of service to qualify as a veteran is 1 day - something which some people have used to claim to their benefit. But also, there are an awful lot of scams where the scammer claims to be active military or veteran also, so it's something to also approach with scepticism. Why is it so important they tell you their profession? But, I am obviously not heartless. I do have full sympathy for anyone who has been shipped off to one of the recent unjust wars and of course the impact this has had on their health (mental and physical) - but it has to then be understood why a lot of people are not able to take this on in a relationship
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 16 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: Pretty sure the most recent wars (disregarding Ukraine) have been about oil It doesn't matter why wars are fought. The gist here is that this now ex-member has returned from a conflict area with serious trauma, and the so-called judgment-free members here have spit their bile about him. And then comes a so-called free spirit that begins why wars are fought, instead of worrying about the well-being of any member of this community. Not bad for a member who claims to work in mental health care
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 13 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: Not wishing to sound heartless or disrespectful - but... I don't think we should hold anyone who is a veteran in any higher regard than anyone else, nor give them any special passes, etc. Among anything else, the minimum length of service to qualify as a veteran is 1 day - something which some people have used to claim to their benefit. But also, there are an awful lot of scams where the scammer claims to be active military or veteran also, so it's something to also approach with scepticism. Why is it so important they tell you their profession? But, I am obviously not heartless. I do have full sympathy for anyone who has been shipped off to one of the recent unjust wars and of course the impact this has had on their health (mental and physical) - but it has to then be understood why a lot of people are not able to take this on in a relationship Some here would do well to learn the skill of "reading comprehension" so that the commentary also makes sense. Don't you think ?
ey**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 4 hours ago, Donnyou812 said: The Pareto distribution named after an Italian economist,if memory serves me right is a powerful nugget of knowledge to have, it applies to everything, from the percentage of population who are talented artists writing symphonies, hardest workers in your company, the highest earners , the most successful there's value in it but also flaws It has since been largely debunked but then also returned to it being more about the concept than the precise numbers for example even the tinder study (the one study on one site that everyone cites) was 78/22 and one of the wealth models was actually 70/30 - so - it's less of a hard and fast rule but sometimes a concept where the numbers fit. Getting actual dating figures would be very difficult. The tindr one for example based on matches - I think it also found that on average men were swiping on 69% of profiles (nice!) whereas women just 4.5% and this ties in a lot that.... men tend to go for a scattergun approach. Mass messaging, mass swiping, etc. to see what sticks whereas women are more likely to swipe on those who actually interest them. Obviously on tindr in particular, the first impressions (your profile pic!) is very important and yeah, looks can then come into a lot coupled in with anything else that makes them interesting.
ey**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 15 minutes ago, Traveler said: the so-called judgment-free members here have spit their bile about him to be fair, "judgement-free" is one of the biggest lies in kink. Like, here you are judging how everyone else responds, without adding anything actually helpful of your own.
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 18 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: to be fair, "judgement-free" is one of the biggest lies in kink. Like, here you are judging how everyone else responds, without adding anything actually helpful of your own. Indeed I did, and I am proud of it. But, and most importantly, I stand up for a traumatized veteran who made an effort to find his way back into society. The rest who responded here, not one of them bothered to read his profile, and reacted disdainfully to his post, including you. Read, and then react, that prevents a lot of misery. And if you feel like s**t now, now that you are pointed this out, so be it. The lesson that everyone should learn here is: inform, then react. That is open communication.
FETMOD-KF Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 as a little note there are a lot of good points on this discussion but it's starting to sway a little off topic equally, someone's employment history or the legitimacy of wars is swaying way off
CopperKnob Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 1 hour ago, Traveler said: It doesn't matter why wars are fought. The gist here is that this now ex-member has returned from a conflict area with serious trauma, and the so-called judgment-free members here have spit their bile about him. And then comes a so-called free spirit that begins why wars are fought, instead of worrying about the well-being of any member of this community. Not bad for a member who claims to work in mental health care The majority of comments here have been encouraging, motivational and solution focussed unlike yours which was to attack. People in glass houses should not throw stones.
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 Inform then react is the ideal. But sometimes some people just need to vent their anger. It’s a personal release. Those who offer constructive criticism understand this and encourage the person venting that there are possible solutions which in this case need an investment of time. But allow people to get rid of anger and frustration without heavy criticism. Sometimes people just want to be heard. He was luck to get that and some good advice from a few here.
ey**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 I did feel most of the comments were trying to give help, encouragement or advice. Obviously nobody can magically matchmake. Given the OP has deleted their profile (I hope that they can rest and clear their head and come back) it's very rude to list their former careers - nor is/was it particularly relevant. Generally. I thought the OP had the right kinda attitude and was more understandably "what can I do?" than many of the whiners. And sometimes something that sucks is you can seemingly do everything right and not get the results you want.
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 18 minutes ago, Alex10473 said: Inform then react is the ideal. But sometimes some people just need to vent their anger. It’s a personal release. Those who offer constructive criticism understand this and encourage the person venting that there are possible solutions which in this case need an investment of time. But allow people to get rid of anger and frustration without heavy criticism. Sometimes people just want to be heard. He was luck to get that and some good advice from a few here. Everyone is free to point the finger at me now. In this case too, "regret comes after sin". I took the trouble to read his profile carefully, talked to him and listened to him carefully. Who else here has done that, you? He deleted his profile here for a reason. There's no denying that sarcasm drips from most of the comments. I don't show any unnatural behavior when I stand up for a "weaker" in the community and/or society. I always have, and always will. That's called respect. If someone feels addressed by my reaction, then "if the shoe fits, wears it", and I have achieved my goal. I'm not going to apologize for this. I would have expected more sympathy and empathy from a mental health worker, this is not meant to be offensive. It's really shameful what happened here.
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 20 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: I did feel most of the comments were trying to give help, encouragement or advice. Obviously nobody can magically matchmake. Given the OP has deleted their profile (I hope that they can rest and clear their head and come back) it's very rude to list their former careers - nor is/was it particularly relevant. Generally. I thought the OP had the right kinda attitude and was more understandably "what can I do?" than many of the whiners. And sometimes something that sucks is you can seemingly do everything right and not get the results you want. Regret comes after sin, and in this case "your feeling" is completely irrelevant
ey**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 1 hour ago, Traveler said: Regret comes after sin, and in this case "your feeling" is completely irrelevant so are yours
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 23 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: so are yours Someone's feelings, and opinion, which stands up for the weaker who can no longer defend themselves, always matter. It has to do with respect, sympathy and empathy, among other things. The lack of it kills you by contemptuously wanting to have the last word. Have a nice day
sW**** Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 3 hours ago, Traveler said: Someone's feelings, and opinion, which stands up for the weaker who can no longer defend themselves, always matter. It has to do with respect, sympathy and empathy, among other things. The lack of it kills you by contemptuously wanting to have the last word. Have a nice day Sorry, but his having the last word with you has no bearing on his sympathy or respect for the OP. You butted in and derailed the thread on some quest to protect someone who didn't ask and probably doesn't even care. That's on you. You are the one being disrespectful. There were a few snide comments on here, but mostly they were ignored or shut down. And @eyemblacksheep didn't write any of those snide comments. Your heart may be in the right place, but you aren't engaging in a productive manner. Please get off your soapbox and contribute to the thread.
Donnyou812 Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 11 hours ago, Traveler said: Congratulations everyone! Everyone here had to spit, give their opinion, and a few had to joke about it if necessary. Very mature of you all. Who read their profile before giving out their nonsense? This man is a veteran, has fought for our freedom and suffered psychological problems as a result. What grown idiots here. I appreciate the acknowledgement, I do so more for the memory of those lost I served with, but I don't appreciate you claiming moral high ground by using our status as veterans to further your point,especially since those freedoms we fought, died and suffered for are the freedoms you're complaining about, freedom of speech, the ability to have dialog ,express and exchange ideas, even if you disagree with others. There's already to much censorship today and more on the way, don't ride on our backs to win an argument or virtue signal, if anything dishonors us, it's that.
Un**** Posted July 1, 2022 Posted July 1, 2022 I just joined I hope ur still arpund maube we could chat
Ak**** Posted July 1, 2022 Posted July 1, 2022 Yesterday at 06:33 AM, Traveler said: Congratulations everyone! Everyone here had to spit, give their opinion, and a few had to joke about it if necessary. Very mature of you all. Who read their profile before giving out their nonsense? This man is a veteran, has fought for our freedom and suffered psychological problems as a result. What grown idiots here. Everyone has a right to their opinion, not all have an educated opinion but it doesn't make it less valid from their point of view. Not all grown idiots, just people talking and gaining new knowledge. And fun fact: come to find out there are well over a million kinky vets in our great nation. 😅💋💕
ey**** Posted July 1, 2022 Posted July 1, 2022 Mind, of course... I am worried we're heading off topic - but... one of the major drivers in what became a lot of what we know/think in modern kink comes from the communities set up by gay soldiers returning from wars (particularly the Korean and Vietnam wars) which were very kink based (a lot what we call 'old guard') a lot of the concept of "earning stripes" or earning titles etc came from that. Of course, a lot of kink communities end up adopting a lot of those ideas - but not always so welcome to homosexual members.
Donnyou812 Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: Mind, of course... I am worried we're heading off topic - but... one of the major drivers in what became a lot of what we know/think in modern kink comes from the communities set up by gay soldiers returning from wars (particularly the Korean and Vietnam wars) which were very kink based (a lot what we call 'old guard') a lot of the concept of "earning stripes" or earning titles etc came from that. Of course, a lot of kink communities end up adopting a lot of those ideas - but not always so welcome to homosexual members. The way I heard that was hilarious, my two years stationed in Korea on the DMZ we never got any intelligence about North Korean infiltrators and Patrols carrying cat of nine tails in addition to automatic weapons and grenades, but if you say it was a kinky War, hey, I'm not arguing, there was a lot of pronounced d/s within the culture, and Young straight gi's were exposed to a lot of ahead of their time opposite sex in comparison to Stateside, but then again Germany was Lively as well
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