First Time Dealing With A Brat? Any Advice?

[TeasingMeSilly]

I just started talking to a sub brat online. (First time talking to a brat) And well, I never knew how much I enjoyed the bratty teasing denial. But I also find it hard when she doesn't want to listen and says things like you can't make me. How do you handle things like this online? What kind of punishments can you give, or denials? I don't want to cut off communication as a form of discipline (hard limit for me), but it's hard to give any kind of punishment when you know she'll just say no or you can't make me.

I'd like to meet her in person eventually, but it is online at the moment.

I find she just enjoys teasing and getting on my neveres. Of course i rarely show that her efforts are work  but i let her win sometimes. But i have yet to see her agree to anything i say, more so she gets tired of bratting and then gives in.(although i could be wrong on this).

Edited August 15, 2022 by TeasingMeSilly

[Deleted Member]

Mail her a box of dog shit?

[ey****]

I think there is the question that does there need to be a punishment? is this what you both want?

communicate with her.  tell her what you are finding difficult and ask her what works for her.  Tell her what you might like to do

[AKA_Copper]

Ask her why she's bratting. There'll be a variety of reasons that she may give. Depending on the cause will depend on what the agreed outcome is and it may not be as simple as she wants a 'punishment'
Also check that it is bratting rather than anything else, I don't know if its your language but bratty behaviour shouldn't be getting on your nerves. For me, that's taking things much too far. As is not knowing when to stop/not wanting to listen, that's either not having an awareness of/unclear boundaries, lacking respect or her just being a 🍆 and using the label brat to get away with it.
I find personally find it much harder to brat online primarily because I feel that it's harder to get the need(s) met in that environment.

[TeasingMeSilly]

21 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think there is the question that does there need to be a punishment? is this what you both want?

communicate with her.  tell her what you are finding difficult and ask her what works for her.  Tell her what you might like to do

Good point. I don't mean punishment exactly but like getting her to do anything or telling her i will results in a you can't make me.

Thanks, I guess just more communication and getting to know each others wants and needs is needed.

[TeasingMeSilly]

7 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Ask her why she's bratting. There'll be a variety of reasons that she may give. Depending on the cause will depend on what the agreed outcome is and it may not be as simple as she wants a 'punishment'
Also check that it is bratting rather than anything else, I don't know if its your language but bratty behaviour shouldn't be getting on your nerves. For me, that's taking things much too far. As is not knowing when to stop/not wanting to listen, that's either not having an awareness of/unclear boundaries, lacking respect or her just being a 🍆 and using the label brat to get away with it.
I find personally find it much harder to brat online primarily because I feel that it's harder to get the need(s) met in that environment.

I wouldn't say it gets on my nerves. She said she likes to try to get on my nerves lol. I think she likes teasing but it sometimes comes off as you can't make me do anything. Probably just have to continue to learn amwhat each of us wants would be the best course of action?

[Deleted Member]

You're asking about punishments & denials, for people to suggest things to do but primarily you should be asking the brat that, what she wants, what she wants to achieve, what outcomes she expects when she's bratty, does she want punishing, does she want you to try distract her, give her other things to do or do things with her, is she doing it just to annoy you & doesn't care what the outcome is etc... 

Every brat will have different backgrounds & reasons to their behaviours & their expectations of what that behaviour will bring, you have to understand that first before you ask for random suggestions on how to deal with it, as you can't deal with something effectively & constructively, if you don't know the reasons for it happening. 

Edited August 15, 2022 by Deleted Member
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[AKA_Copper]

24 minutes ago, TeasingMeSilly said:

I wouldn't say it gets on my nerves. She said she likes to try to get on my nerves lol. I think she likes teasing but it sometimes comes off as you can't make me do anything. Probably just have to continue to learn amwhat each of us wants would be the best course of action?

Of course. It sounds like you're in the early stages of your relationship but I will say this and what follows is just my opinion. Many stypes will use the term brat because they believe that it excuses 💩 behaviour.
If she's continually saying 'you can't make me' the respect isn't yet there because ultimately, most stypes brat or not, will want to please.
If you call her out on it and ask her why she's behaving in a particular way and she says words to the effect of 'I'm a brat what do you expect?' She's either testing you, or she hasn't done the work to understand her own needs which makes it harder for you to know how to respond. I can tell you why I brat from time to time and not one of those reasons is to cause frustration, annoyance or to receive punishment because for me, knowing I've disappointed someone I respect/care about is my kryptonite. I also know when enough is enough because basic respect for the other person is to stop doing something that causes the other person to have those feelings.
I'd even go a step further to say that once you've negotiated the finer details and she continues to say 'you can't make me' or whatever it is she says, it's a consent ***, she's intentionally pushing your limits and that's not what being a brat is about.

[Ar****]

49 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I find personally find it much harder to brat online primarily because I feel that it's harder to get the need(s) met in that environment.

Yes, this. It's why - unless within an established dynamic where I know I can trust my partner to mete out/follow whatever I deem appropriate without my physically being there - if I get "bratted on" online or somebody otherwise tries to push my buttons in a similar fashion for a rise/response, the most they are likely to receive from me is a chuckle. It simply isn't practical in most situations. 

[Deleted Member]

Hi, brat are looking for a Dom that can take provocation and will make them in the future. But early stage online they are just pushing at the beginning because they can(get away with no consequences)
But at the end they want to please and have pleasure. But they won't give it up to a weak Dom.
Be playful. Ask her if she wants a challenge?
Then the challenge must have a reward if done correctly, a time limit, audio or video proof, and a punishment if not done. Be aware brat are going to try to win all the time. So make it simple at the beginning and hard after. It's really playing around.
Anytime a brat brat I call her out directly in a cute way to show her that I'm following up! Haha

[Jess-8540]

I agree for the most part with what’s been said here. I am a sub myself and I can tell by what’s been shared here and her behavior that she does want you to be a little more aggressive and perhaps “punish” her for acting out, but in a way that she is ok with. That’s different for everyone. Talk to her more and find out what she’s into and what kinds of “punishments” or “penalties” might work for her. Sounds to me like she is testing the waters, which is cure for a new relationship. Best of luck my friend! 

[TeasingMeSilly]

thanks for the reply. I concluded she was not serious, hasn't really taken the first step, and was just being "tease-y" with anyone that came her way. I don't believe she had any intentions of actually following through with anything. More just online chatting with whoever she could.