Fun thought experiment for all of you Dom/mes

[Me****]

So this is me asking for advice but in a fun and (hopefully) thought-provoking way. 

 

If your job as a dom/me was to train a submissive to be the most socially and romantically successful submissive (for whatever kinky reason you can imagine) how would you go about doing it? 

 

- What would you forbid them from doing?

- What would you expect them to do daily?

- Would they have a daily routine, if so what would it be? 

- What behaviours would you train into them?

- What behaviours would you train out of them? 

- What mistakes would you punish them for? 

- If you were going to send them online, how would you have them write their profile, introduce themselves to people etc. 

- If you were going to send them to munches, what would their etiquette be, how would you set their expectations, what goals would you set for them etc. 

I'm by no means expecting a war and peace response, and this post is by no means gender-specific, just interested to know what everyone thinks.

 

[ge****]

The answers to many of those things would actually come from you the submissive not the dominant directly - though ultimately they may make choices based on their knowledge of you.
.
For example they may forbid you from doing something you really enjoy, or train behaviours in and out based on what they think the individual needs, not based on a text book answer.
.
Likewise their expectations of how a submissive should act both on-line and off would likely be dictated by the agreed dynamic.
.
In other words all of your questions have very individual answers based on both (or all) specific people involved and the nature of the individual dynamic.
.
And those answers could only be known by getting to know each other and forming an understanding of the very individual dynamic that is agreed, through ongoing communication, discussion and boundary/limit setting.

[Du****]

3 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

The answers to many of those things would actually come from you the submissive not the dominant directly - though ultimately they may make choices based on their knowledge of you.
.
For example they may forbid you from doing something you really enjoy, or train behaviours in and out based on what they think the individual needs, not based on a text book answer.
.
Likewise their expectations of how a submissive should act both on-line and off would likely be dictated by the agreed dynamic.
.
In other words all of your questions have very individual answers based on both (or all) specific people involved and the nature of the individual dynamic.
.
And those answers could only be known by getting to know each other and forming an understanding of the very individual dynamic that is agreed, through ongoing communication, discussion and boundary/limit setting.

I’m sure OP will benefit greatly from such measured and thoughtful advice.

[Deleted Member]

Build the submissive confidence

[ey****]

To a degree I'm not sure why this would benefit me - I know for example from a F/m perspective a number of Dommes lost their sub when they found a girlfriend.   I guess within this wanting to help someone in this way would have to come with the notion that they were likely to no longer require me once they'd reached the objectives of their guidance.

So I'd have to ask how this arrangement which is going to require a lot of emotional investment on my behalf is going to ultimately beneficial to me.

But still.  If someone came to me wishing to increase their success then the advice I would give is

Things to forbid would include

any form of mass messaging online.  That regardless of any sites in built limits they should choose no more than 3 people, per week, to reach out to.   Because of this, they should choose carefully on who they may be best suited for.  However, of course in this fantasy scenario prospective partners may find it off-putting the person already has a Dominant.

Each day. To spend some time boosting their knowledge or skills. This could include reading a blog or forum post and responding on thread about any they found helpful and, if appropriate, asking conversational questions.

Daily routine

Eat sensibly. Stay hydrated. Don't let the search for a relationship or friends impact their day job. 

Punishment

Punishment is a drain on my time.  This is for their benefit, not mine. The punishment for not following instructions is they let themselves down and further delay getting the results they want.

Online

I'd have them have a filled out profile which is about them, and also a little what they looking for. With photos.  And again online behaviours to include building passive connections (contribute to threads, etc.) and not excessively contacting others.

Munches

Yes, I would send them.  The simple etiquette being to treat it as mates in a pub they haven't met yet, as that is what a munch is.  That they should do their own research into munches and attend some which seem suitable for them.  That they treat these not as a dating event but as something to make friends and build passive connections. 

[Me****]

29 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

To a degree I'm not sure why this would benefit me - I know for example from a F/m perspective a number of Dommes lost their sub when they found a girlfriend.   I guess within this wanting to help someone in this way would have to come with the notion that they were likely to no longer require me once they'd reached the objectives of their guidance.

So I'd have to ask how this arrangement which is going to require a lot of emotional investment on my behalf is going to ultimately beneficial to me.

But still.  If someone came to me wishing to increase their success then the advice I would give is

Things to forbid would include

any form of mass messaging online.  That regardless of any sites in built limits they should choose no more than 3 people, per week, to reach out to.   Because of this, they should choose carefully on who they may be best suited for.  However, of course in this fantasy scenario prospective partners may find it off-putting the person already has a Dominant.

Each day. To spend some time boosting their knowledge or skills. This could include reading a blog or forum post and responding on thread about any they found helpful and, if appropriate, asking conversational questions.

Daily routine

Eat sensibly. Stay hydrated. Don't let the search for a relationship or friends impact their day job. 

Punishment

Punishment is a drain on my time.  This is for their benefit, not mine. The punishment for not following instructions is they let themselves down and further delay getting the results they want.

Online

I'd have them have a filled out profile which is about them, and also a little what they looking for. With photos.  And again online behaviours to include building passive connections (contribute to threads, etc.) and not excessively contacting others.

Munches

Yes, I would send them.  The simple etiquette being to treat it as mates in a pub they haven't met yet, as that is what a munch is.  That they should do their own research into munches and attend some which seem suitable for them.  That they treat these not as a dating event but as something to make friends and build passive connections. 

This is exactly the kind of reply I needed, but your response has also made it clear to me that I need to reword my post somewhat. Thank you!

[Me****]

52 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

The answers to many of those things would actually come from you the submissive not the dominant directly - though ultimately they may make choices based on their knowledge of you.
.
For example they may forbid you from doing something you really enjoy, or train behaviours in and out based on what they think the individual needs, not based on a text book answer.
.
Likewise their expectations of how a submissive should act both on-line and off would likely be dictated by the agreed dynamic.
.
In other words all of your questions have very individual answers based on both (or all) specific people involved and the nature of the individual dynamic.
.
And those answers could only be known by getting to know each other and forming an understanding of the very individual dynamic that is agreed, through ongoing communication, discussion and boundary/limit setting.

Very solid advice. So you're saying that in order to make the submissive "better" in certain areas, you would identify areas of improvement and work towards helping them build on that? 

[Me****]

52 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I’m sure OP will benefit greatly from such measured and thoughtful advice.

You're right, I did. Very much so. Not just because it answered my question but also because it helped me better understand how a D/S dynamic works 

[ge****]

2 hours ago, MeaningfulAdventure said:

Very solid advice. So you're saying that in order to make the submissive "better" in certain areas, you would identify areas of improvement and work towards helping them build on that? 

What I'm saying is it is very much down to the individual dynamic and what it comprises of, as well as the desires of all involved in it.
.
For some it's not about improvement or adjustment but purely the interaction, both physical and mental, between two people, for some behaviours may come into it, for yet others there may be an element of self-improvement as a result and many other varieties and flavours in between - it all comes back to the individuals involved.

[ThumperG]

Hmmm... Wow just wow. 😂