Advice

[se****]

“What’s the best way to start as a beginner sub?”

This is a question i was asked recently, so i wanna know everyone’s answer to it.

By the way, this is after the whole process of the dom and sub getting to know each other/getting comfortable.

What do y’all think is the ideal first session for a beginner sub?

[Deleted Member]

I want to see answers because I am struggling mightily with this.

[Da****]

As a Dom who has worked with new subs before..
make sure you and your Dom/Domme know limits
Don't be ashamed or afraid to use Safewords
Some of my first sessions have been more of a show, tell and light experience with the toys/tools that I own
I also insist on strict protocols
Go slow don't dive right into the deep end of the pool
Let your Dom/Domme do thier part and control/direct the scene
Try to relax and most importantly enjoy yourself...

[CopperKnob]

The ideal first session is the one which has been fully negotiated and communicated effectively.
Both parties are agrreable and comfortable with the terms.
Neither party attempt to renegotiate in the hours leading up to and certainly not mid scene.
Neither party try anything they are inexperienced with.
Neither party attempts to push limits.
Both parties follow through on what was agreed unless one or the other safewords/brings the scene to an end.
Aftercare is given as agreed.
Effective communication continues for as long as necessary post scene.

[ge****]

I'm going to make the assumption that said "beginner sub" is informed and knowledgeable enough to be taking part in any kind of play and able to consent and negotiate based on their boundaries, limits and desires etc - if they're not, then I'd suggest either play doesn't happen at all, or is extremely light touch and sits within the bounds of what they *are* able to consent to and not some preconceived stereotype idea of what D/s is.
.
If however they are suitably knowledgeable and in a position to provide informed consent, clearly express their boundaries/limits, and negotiate a scene/dynamic/whatever then any play should sit within the bounds of that negotiation and their limits/boundaries.
.
It should be more exploration for all involved and not full on - with plenty of check ins to make sure all are OK with what is happening, clear communication before, during and after to find out what worked, what didn't and what to build on for another time (if indeed there is to be another time).
.
All of this and more are things "your friend" from your other thread should have been doing if he didn't.

[ey****]

I think the first hypothetical advice I would give is that "sub" is often a broad catch-all term which covers a range of dynamics and so spending some time researching what might or might not work for you is valuable.  But also not to get too carried away with chasing a fantasy.

I'd also say be very wary of anyone overly keep to help or 'train' you, especially if this help involves any form of play or intimacy with you.   Because there's too often where they don't have your best interests at heart; or maybe think they do but they themselves might have their own views which may not align with your own interests

Being active in a community; be it online (say a website like this) or in a local community can open up to more support and ideas.  Certainly don't trust anyone who tries to isolate you away from learning.