Deleted Member Posted November 3, 2022 Posted November 3, 2022 A nervous wreak now. Got speaking to someone on here yesterday, got a message today asking meet up. I mistakenly said yes I thought something was a miss but hey. I drive to location of hotel. Go to the front car park stand near the door and message to come down me, I get a message back telling me go around the back to a skip which is in front of the room so they could see I was real. I go round freezing at this point, message back and forth then blocked me. Now was i been watched all along, have they got my picture me or car, my privacy is what I cherish the most
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 I'm really sorry you had this experience. Coffee in a public place is always a good idea before arranging a play date. Daylight hours, and lots of help around if you need it.
VolitionGiver Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 That sounds awful. Definitely report them
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 Lady Davina, many of these types of people have what i call a "desperation energy" . I see it everyday in my job. You on the other hand have a kind, friendly and loving energy so you will be victorious in the end
ST90 Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 Having the privacy to be free to be yourself In what ever interests you have is vital to all. And I'm always astounded by some big safeguarding mistakes people make on this. With the amount of fakes, there's some sensible quick checks you can always do. Not all people being fake is out of malice, but even if they want to have a fantasy roleplay, they forget someone is exposing something personal and they have the right to know who too. So some quick tips on safeguarding 1. Never give your number to have them whatsapp you, instead take theirs. Change your privacy settings so only contacts can see your whatsapp profile and after you have messaged to say hello and start the chat delete the contact. When the contact isn't saved you can see what they have saved the whatsapp profile as. You can also see the date their status was made and how recently. 2. Before you message them on whatsapp, go on snapchat and sync your contacts. You can see if that number is linked to a snapchat account and is it the same name they have given? This can also be done on telegram. 3. Most people like to keep their only "personna" consistent. For that reason maybe 75% of people have the same Instagram and snapchat username. So you can check that out too. You may also find that the snapchat gives you a clue to their 2nd name and you can search it in Facebook LinkedIn and Instagram None of this is ever to be used to expose people. But it is good practice to make sure you know who you are disclosing personal information to. Hope it helps
ge**** Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 Sorry it happened to you - sadly some people can't be trusted and are out to play games or show little respect and consideration for others for whatever reason - you'll probably never know the real reason they messed you around so try not to dwell on it. . As others have said arranging to meet in a public place for a coffee or similar is the way to go, even if play is planned later on if all are happy, and anyone objects to that then stick to your guns and don't compromise, if they can't understand it's for your safety and theirs then they're not worth meeting. . Can understand the concerns about them potentially having watched you/taken pics etc and know you'll be looking over your shoulder for a while as a result of those concerns - it's easy to say, but try not to worry about it, there's very little they could do with those things even if they did them - just keep your guard up and be prepared to take action should they do so. . Finally report the here as others have suggested.
Ch**** Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 I wouldn't be meeting someone after one day of messaging. Too many dangers
ma**** Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 So do you meet with someone you don't know anything about? How about if you get r***d or k****d? Why can't people vet before playing with others?
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 Davina if you need a friend for a safeguarding person (someone you tell when you're meeting someone so you have someone to check in on you) please message me. I don't live too far from you. It's not a pleasant experience so sending you big hugs
Granted Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 Oof, that is brutal. Sorry to hear. Similar happened to me however I had spoken to the person for 2 weeks before meeting. I went to the place, they were very active and talking to me until I got there (though this place was public), said they were almost there. 30 minutes of hanging around and then they blocked me on here and via messages and that was that. I only had traveled 40 mins to the location but still. it is a strange thing for sure. Makes you feel quite ***. There was no reason to think they weren't interested or real. One day is perhaps not enough, and for sure like others say - a public place should be your first thought. Even guys should be careful, I am a big guy but what if there isn't just one person meeting up when you expect there to be. You just don't know.
ma**** Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 I also want to add that first few meetings should be in a public space and always let someone know where you are. Also, once you start talking to someone, ask them to video call you (if they refuse, that is a huge red flag), ask for pictures... once you decided to meet (but before meeting), ask them for their names (again, if they refuse to give that to you, it is a huge red flag) for safety reasons. There are too many scams and predators within the community. Be very careful.
CopperKnob Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 Davina, as most other comments, I'm glad you're OK. Next time, maybe spend a little more time chatting, swap pics, have a video call, chat on the phone, get their full name and if possible address. See if anyone else you know in the community is aware of them. Check out their actvity here. Have a safety call like Subcnc has suggested and give them the location of the meeting, times and the details of the other person. In terms of yourself, make sure all of you other social media's are locked down and be aware of how much personal info you're actually sharing through conversation. Bottom line though, no matter how much any of us vet, there will always be risk/s. Your gut instinct is your biggest attribute in these situations. . Everyone else. Hindsights a lovely thing isn't it. I remember when I was a ***ager/in my 20's, going out to bars and clubs, meeting a guy and arranging to go out with him after a short chat whilst inebriated or even going home with them that same night. I wonder how much vetting I did back in those days?
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 How do I go about reporting them?
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 7 hours ago, Chiana said: I wouldn't be meeting someone after one day of messaging. Too many dangers I did think something isn’t right, just me been to eager I guess 😖
Carnival Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 There is also a tiny possibility that the person who wanted to meet you was too shy/scared when it came to the actual meeting that they just chickened away… it’s one thing to text with someone and it’s an entirely different ballpark and adrenaline to actually meet up. Maybe there was more to the story but from what you said I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually maybe didn’t mean any harm but just shied away when it came to it and shut down… I know it may sound weird to many but it is also a possibility.
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 3 minutes ago, Carnival said: There is also a tiny possibility that the person who wanted to meet you was too shy/scared when it came to the actual meeting that they just chickened away… it’s one thing to text with someone and it’s an entirely different ballpark and adrenaline to actually meet up. Maybe there was more to the story but from what you said I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually maybe didn’t mean any harm but just shied away when it came to it and shut down… I know it may sound weird to many but it is also a possibility. That’s a load of shit sorry. I told them from the start all of this is new to me, but kept on asking to meet up, so I did it to please them, that what I’m about pleasing people. All I was last night was a game of cat and mouse for someone
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 12 hours ago, HarmonySurprise said: Report them How do I do this?
CopperKnob Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 4 minutes ago, Davina said: How do I do this? If you're in the app, go into the messages, click on the 3 dots at the top right and then click report
Deleted Member Posted November 4, 2022 Author Posted November 4, 2022 1 minute ago, CopperKnob said: If you're in the app, go into the messages, click on the 3 dots at the top right and then click report Thank you ☺️
ge**** Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 1 hour ago, Carnival said: There is also a tiny possibility that the person who wanted to meet you was too shy/scared when it came to the actual meeting that they just chickened away… it’s one thing to text with someone and it’s an entirely different ballpark and adrenaline to actually meet up. Maybe there was more to the story but from what you said I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually maybe didn’t mean any harm but just shied away when it came to it and shut down… I know it may sound weird to many but it is also a possibility. Whilst I get that some people get last minute cold feet etc - based on the OP this person was playing games and nothing about their behaviour indicates cold feet - someone with cold feet wouldn't ask someone to jump through hoops in the way the OP said they did - even if it was purely cold feet, that doesn't excuse their behaviour after the event either, at the very least they should have apologised and explained, even if they did then go on to block etc. . Now the OP has learned some very harsh lessons out of this about trusting too soon etc but again that doesn't make the way she was treated as she tells it right. . Sadly there are some out there that get a kick out of playing these kind of games - which is why due diligence beforehand is required to try and combat it.
bi**** Posted November 4, 2022 Posted November 4, 2022 I think they were just mucking you about. When meeting - always meet up normally, coffee, pub, in the park even. Like normal human beings making a connection. Anything to see if someone is real without any kink or play being involved. Anyone who thinks meeting up for sex without meeting you at leats once is decidedly dodgy and probably best avoided.
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