You're All Fake!

[jS****]

The kink bullshit is why I don’t fuck around “in the lifestyle” anymore. It’s all just gatekeepy, whiny, elitist bullshit. Ifs like a bunch of dorks that found Dungeons and Dragons years ago, and it’s always been their own thing. Then D& D became popular, and the dorks started freaking out and trying to contain it for themselves. The description you’ve detailed here of what kink is “supposed to be” is yours and yours alone. Ironically, kink, BDSM, and “the lifestyle” have become the very thing they for so long tried to avoid. And it was, and folks could go there and be weird and freaky and show off their favorite leather body suit, or wear a collar or whip some 60y/o businessman into submission and send him packing with a new set of welts and bruises, whatever. Finally, a place they could be themselves and let their freak flag fly. But now others are trying to join in, and these same people that were welcoming their fellow freaks with open arms 10-20 years ago, are butthurt and all, “No fair! This is our thing!” -and it’s become so whiny and lame it’s disappointing. Of course everyone that comes in has no fucking clue. And yes, I get it- it gets tiresome that we now consider it “kinky” if you wanna try anal or have your ass eaten out or try wearing a vibrating cock ring, when those should really be considered standard fare, but yeah. Get over yourselves. Saying you wanna decide who gets to be in the “I like riding whips up my ass” is childish. It may be all about the power exchange, and dynamic, and your favorite part may be when the horse gets ***ed and bends you over to start whipping you, but maybe I just like the sound the whip makes on my ass. How is one of us more worthy of being in the club than the other?
So stop. Folks said the same thing about you when you noob’d out too. And as for people being confused and wanting to fuck you, well, try being the one that nobody wants to fuck. I’d bet *** you’d keep it like it is. Maybe not. Also, sex- do you mean so little to them and everyone else? Just a piece of meat to try and bang? Well, if you’re on the web, then yes, that is accurate. It’s the internet, and you’re on probly the freakiest site of all. To expect to find a bunch of folks that not only like to eat tacos outta your ass crack but want to get to know you and how long you’ve been scrapbooking as well is a bit rich. So everyone just relax. Shit that was sacred forever becomes the trendy norm, gets cheapened, almost dies off, and then slowly grows back again. This will be no different.

[Se****]

7 hours ago, jStagg331 said:

The kink bullshit is why I don’t fuck around “in the lifestyle” anymore. It’s all just gatekeepy, whiny, elitist bullshit. Ifs like a bunch of dorks that found Dungeons and Dragons years ago, and it’s always been their own thing. Then D& D became popular, and the dorks started freaking out and trying to contain it for themselves. The description you’ve detailed here of what kink is “supposed to be” is yours and yours alone. Ironically, kink, BDSM, and “the lifestyle” have become the very thing they for so long tried to avoid. And it was, and folks could go there and be weird and freaky and show off their favorite leather body suit, or wear a collar or whip some 60y/o businessman into submission and send him packing with a new set of welts and bruises, whatever. Finally, a place they could be themselves and let their freak flag fly. But now others are trying to join in, and these same people that were welcoming their fellow freaks with open arms 10-20 years ago, are butthurt and all, “No fair! This is our thing!” -and it’s become so whiny and lame it’s disappointing. Of course everyone that comes in has no fucking clue. And yes, I get it- it gets tiresome that we now consider it “kinky” if you wanna try anal or have your ass eaten out or try wearing a vibrating cock ring, when those should really be considered standard fare, but yeah. Get over yourselves. Saying you wanna decide who gets to be in the “I like riding whips up my ass” is childish. It may be all about the power exchange, and dynamic, and your favorite part may be when the horse gets ***ed and bends you over to start whipping you, but maybe I just like the sound the whip makes on my ass. How is one of us more worthy of being in the club than the other?
So stop. Folks said the same thing about you when you noob’d out too. And as for people being confused and wanting to fuck you, well, try being the one that nobody wants to fuck. I’d bet *** you’d keep it like it is. Maybe not. Also, sex- do you mean so little to them and everyone else? Just a piece of meat to try and bang? Well, if you’re on the web, then yes, that is accurate. It’s the internet, and you’re on probly the freakiest site of all. To expect to find a bunch of folks that not only like to eat tacos outta your ass crack but want to get to know you and how long you’ve been scrapbooking as well is a bit rich. So everyone just relax. Shit that was sacred forever becomes the trendy norm, gets cheapened, almost dies off, and then slowly grows back again. This will be no different.

I *** you missed the point of the OP 

[Deleted Member]

Unfortunately, you will see a lot of them here.

[Ho****]

On 5/10/2025 at 7:35 PM, SerendipitousKeeper said:

I *** you missed the point of the OP 

By about a flippin’ light year. 

[Ma****]

So i have a question to any and all since the Topic is about fakes - that could be ppl or accounts - how do yall actually know if the person on the other side is actually fake other than them getting you off the platform to another messaging service.- yall kinda complain about how a man or woman makes up a profile that has no bio, pictures, no true meaning to be here, so explain how do yall know if that person is a fake aka a bot, or a person just trying to get their rocks off discreetly. - For me I get alot of bots persay they put up pictures and a profile that looks legit, mostly vanilla or cookie cutter profile, they all want ltr. No mention of Fetish anywhere in the profile 1 picture or 3 depends on how elaborate the profile is. They put the email in a cryptic way or phone # in some stupid way with numbers in profile. We all know that's against tos to put your information like phone # or email in profile. Another way I've found some fakes actually fake ppl they use pictures of other ppl from the internet. Not hard to spot those but I use google lens to help me determine who pics are real or fake, AI doesn't help matters better either. Yall just be aware and be safe. That's how you need to approach anyone on all kinds of dating sites even the Fetish sites. No matter if they are real or fake keep your real friends in the loop where your going if you do meet someone.

[Ar****]

6 minutes ago, MasterBrad0419 said:

So i have a question to any and all since the Topic is about fakes - that could be ppl or accounts - how do yall actually know if the person on the other side is actually fake other than them getting you off the platform to another messaging service.

The topic really isn't about fakes (not that you would know that from the ensuing comments 👀), but about attitudes and expectations.

8 minutes ago, MasterBrad0419 said:

- yall kinda complain about how a man or woman makes up a profile that has no bio, pictures, no true meaning to be here, so explain how do yall know if that person is a fake aka a bot, or a person just trying to get their rocks off discreetly.

All bots are fakes, but not all fakes are bots. Few are, I'd venture.

I'd answer the question with a question though - why would you even want to find out? I don't understand the incentive of somebody looking at a profile which offers nothing (or very little) and thinking to themselves, "Yes, they might be the one for me! But I wonder whether they are actually real? 🤔"

Short of sc*ttergunning out of sheer desperation and wanting to take a gamble on anything with a pulse there is nothing in those profiles to connect with or generate interest.

17 minutes ago, MasterBrad0419 said:

- For me I get alot of bots persay they put up pictures and a profile that looks legit, mostly vanilla or cookie cutter profile, they all want ltr.

I'm not doubting or questioning that this has happened to you but I do want to comment how fascinating I find it when other users have such a different experience to the one I've had here, in this instance that after being on Fet for almost six years now I can count on one hand the number of encounters I've had with bots. It's a phenomenon I consider very interesting. 

[CopperKnob]

20 hours ago, MasterBrad0419 said:

So i have a question to any and all since the Topic is about fakes - that could be ppl or accounts - how do yall actually know if the person on the other side is actually fake other than them getting you off the platform to another messaging service.- yall kinda complain about how a man or woman makes up a profile that has no bio, pictures, no true meaning to be here, so explain how do yall know if that person is a fake aka a bot, or a person just trying to get their rocks off discreetly. - For me I get alot of bots persay they put up pictures and a profile that looks legit, mostly vanilla or cookie cutter profile, they all want ltr. No mention of Fetish anywhere in the profile 1 picture or 3 depends on how elaborate the profile is. They put the email in a cryptic way or phone # in some stupid way with numbers in profile. We all know that's against tos to put your information like phone # or email in profile. Another way I've found some fakes actually fake ppl they use pictures of other ppl from the internet. Not hard to spot those but I use google lens to help me determine who pics are real or fake, AI doesn't help matters better either. Yall just be aware and be safe. That's how you need to approach anyone on all kinds of dating sites even the Fetish sites. No matter if they are real or fake keep your real friends in the loop where your going if you do meet someone.

As Aranhis has said, the OP isn't about fake anything. It's about the real connections that can be made when we put the effort in.

[ey****]

to go slightly leftfield but in with some that miss the point

Personally I hate the whole concept on 'real', 'fake', 'true', etc. it's generally all meaningless.

I mean sure, of course if someone is a bot or a catfish then 'fake' but aside from that if there's a human on the other side who is not masquerading as someone else then they are "real", "true"

alas, of course - there are those who really are only after getting-off while partner is in bed, or maybe those who genuinely intend to meet until it becomes too real - and perhaps also those who say they are in one role, but their behaviour suggests there's something they don't grasp. 

However, of course - an issue - finding people is hard, it really is - especially online : and sometimes people do things online which hurts themselves further - but like folk tend to have this flaw of.. instead of acknowledging stuff is hard, instead of acknowledging sometimes there is scope for improvement or change - they blame others, "it can't be ME at fault, it's everyoen else - they're fake - no one here is true like I am" it's a self defeating prophecy 

[Ur****]

This is one of the most real and open and safe places I've ever been... Thank you all for being here... YAY SPANKINGS

[SissyslutSamantha]

I'm real and my true authentic self.

[an****]

Im real but I can't find anyone for them to text back I've been on this damn app for 3 days and still to replies

[ey****]

three WHOLE days?  oh no! 

[Dark101]

I'm real

[En****]

I'm beginning to get so jaded with the whole thing to be fair. 

 

I came into getting more involved in the online world (which didn't previously exist when I was last single) with wide eyes, bouyed by the probability that I'd be able to meet new people and find a partner with whom I gelled with in a vanilla way and a kink.... And on the way I'd have some fun times. 

 

What seems to have played out is slightly more interactions than on vanilla platforms, but the % of bots /scammers and basically disingenuous people (online fantascists and people embelishing themselves/their experience/their rewuirements makes it a pretty sorry state of affairs. 

However, I still live in hope that a genuine suitable lady will pop out from the shadows at some point..... 

I get the impression I might be hanging around for sometime :/

[ey****]

it's funny in the sense I was thinking about this a little bit earlier.   Like, I know what it's like.  You join a dating site for the first time. Write out a profile you're happy with - a couple of pics.  A little nervy on what might happen, but also excited, all the possibilities.

You hit save.

And then. Duck eggs.  OK. Maybe a ping. It's a scammer, maybe not obvious (I mean, hell, if someone thinks you're a woman you might have your first person slide in DMs before you even hit save, trying to get there first!) but, ugh, ok.  

So you browse locally - find a few people. Drop a couple of messages.

Then nothing.

OK, well, maybe... I'm online - they might not be... and then a day or two later it's "they must've been online" or you've taken a VIP trial and see they've read the message, or hit ignore.    

And I think a lot of this, the lows feel like pin pricks in your excitement, a burst of the bubble.  And it fucking sucks.

I guess the first thing is to temper things a little.   It's actually fucking hard.  Everyone lies about how easy dating sites are.  Well, everyone being media, TV shows and people selling you the dating apps - is it me? 

I find what helped me a little at times was

Not treating things as a race, that some things take time.   And it is a long slog that can be difficult, but, y'know.  Just being about and being active helps you out. And you can see others aren't 'fake' but aren't the right match for you (or you not for them) and just a case of, well, passive connections. Building rapport.  And also not just taking one site as the only option. Things do work a little faster if you're also attending munches and events.  People putting names to faces and that.   Someone stopping you at the BBB or somewhere going "you're -  *whoever* I like what you say online" and then you're having a coffee and arranging play.  

[sa****]

Too many fake people

[Unforgiven]

I feel the *** of trying to make real connections, only to find that the women who are willing to talk aren’t interested in this lifestyle. They are hunting for victims to scam. I get that every woman is not interested in me. But the only ones that have contacted me, are not genuine with their intentions. They seem to be interested in my *** though sadly. Now please do not misconstrue what I am saying. I am sure that there are plenty of genuine people here. I just can’t seem to find them. Looking for friends on here let alone a playmate seems nigh impossible. Cmon ladies, help a brother out who feels Lost and alone in the dungeon.

[Ka****]

29 minutes ago, Unforgiven said:

I feel the *** of trying to make real connections, only to find that the women who are willing to talk aren’t interested in this lifestyle. They are hunting for victims to scam. I get that every woman is not interested in me. But the only ones that have contacted me, are not genuine with their intentions. They seem to be interested in my *** though sadly. Now please do not misconstrue what I am saying. I am sure that there are plenty of genuine people here. I just can’t seem to find them. Looking for friends on here let alone a playmate seems nigh impossible. Cmon ladies, help a brother out who feels Lost and alone in the dungeon.

From the other side of the fence, I can attest we also experience scammers, though a different type of scam. 80% of people who have contacted me are clearly looking for an escort, a free one and are not interested in kink so much as a free and easy lay. 8% are polite and pleasant and arrange a date then freak out, of these 8% I've not met one yet who is versed in kink, but im 30 so expect they're just starting out like me so I'll forgive them but they don't seem to have done a lot of meaningful research to kink, done any self exploration or workshops, they're just waiting for me to show them the way (I present as quite dominant but I am kinda like... as a kinkster I expect you to have put some groundwork in, as a sub im kinda expecting you to do the leading and you can't even lead yourself to self exploration so what hope have you got leading me?), the remaining 2% seem genuine but really ***y far away apart from one chap I've met who is genuine and up the road but he's like 00000000000.1%. A lot of the fellas on here make me feel like this site is a scam, cause it feels just like a well known hook up app that starts with T, on steroids.

(Yes. This is also an invitation for people to prove me wrong 🤣🤣)

[CopperKnob]

36 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

From the other side of the fence, I can attest we also experience scammers, though a different type of scam. 80% of people who have contacted me are clearly looking for an escort, a free one and are not interested in kink so much as a free and easy lay. 8% are polite and pleasant and arrange a date then freak out, of these 8% I've not met one yet who is versed in kink, but im 30 so expect they're just starting out like me so I'll forgive them but they don't seem to have done a lot of meaningful research to kink, done any self exploration or workshops, they're just waiting for me to show them the way (I present as quite dominant but I am kinda like... as a kinkster I expect you to have put some groundwork in, as a sub im kinda expecting you to do the leading and you can't even lead yourself to self exploration so what hope have you got leading me?), the remaining 2% seem genuine but really ***y far away apart from one chap I've met who is genuine and up the road but he's like 00000000000.1%. A lot of the fellas on here make me feel like this site is a scam, cause it feels just like a well known hook up app that starts with T, on steroids.

(Yes. This is also an invitation for people to prove me wrong 🤣🤣)

That's only 90%...what about the other 10%?

[Deleted Member]

I'm highly selective. The ppl who slide in my DMs don't normally get a conversation out of me unless I'm interested. Although, I understand that we are more than our fetishes. A lot of ppl don't have the freedom to explore their fetishes in their lives. To them, it's a form of release or fun. To some ppl like me, it's a lifestyle. Also on the "meeting up" part, I normally don't meet up with ppl unless I have a good feel on their personality. Because I'm a queer femme person. Even then, I have to be extra careful because I may never know when that mask will slip & I'll be in danger.

[Ka****]

25 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

That's only 90%...what about the other 10%?

The ones that are filtered out by my age and location preferences :) so 'the unknown'

[ey****]

while it's difficult for some true metrics - on the whole - even traditional financial scams; in dating sites in general women are a bigger financial target of scammers.   Granted, sure, men might get the "send £20 and we'll talk" type messages that women wouldn't entertain (but then, that's only a scam if *** is sent and no talk) women are more likely to be targeted for a long game for a greater financial amount - the tindr swindler is worth a watch and is just one example (then you've also got the old military scams, and overseas doctors, etc.) 

but then also - even aside from typical financial scams - there was a trend where basically the grifter would present that you can't be too careful and ask for some form of verification picture or video - and while it might be something seeminly harmless, it's often being used to either verify elsewhere - or someone is catfishing as you and the person doing a "fake check" has asked them for the oddly specific picture so it's passed down the line.

Like - I do ramble this time to time, but we really do need to end the idea of "only men are victims" 

[Ka****]

2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

while it's difficult for some true metrics - on the whole - even traditional financial scams; in dating sites in general women are a bigger financial target of scammers.   Granted, sure, men might get the "send £20 and we'll talk" type messages that women wouldn't entertain (but then, that's only a scam if *** is sent and no talk) women are more likely to be targeted for a long game for a greater financial amount - the tindr swindler is worth a watch and is just one example (then you've also got the old military scams, and overseas doctors, etc.) 

but then also - even aside from typical financial scams - there was a trend where basically the grifter would present that you can't be too careful and ask for some form of verification picture or video - and while it might be something seeminly harmless, it's often being used to either verify elsewhere - or someone is catfishing as you and the person doing a "fake check" has asked them for the oddly specific picture so it's passed down the line.

Like - I do ramble this time to time, but we really do need to end the idea of "only men are victims" 

Fair point about the love bomb scammers actually. I didn't even think about that but great point! And also that is a great documentary!

[Mr****]

The only women here that will respond to messages are the ones after your ***. They immediately want to switch to a different platform and within minutes are after ***. I hate I actually spent *** on this app. No one is here for a genuine connection.

[Mr****]

Just now, MrOtto74 said:

The only women here that will respond to messages are the ones after your ***. They immediately want to switch to a different platform and within minutes are after ***. I hate I actually spent *** on this app. No one is here for a genuine connection.

Then the app censors what we can say.