Too choosy?

[B2****]

I always try to equate things back to the “real” world. Every single time you see someone in public, you immediately and mostly subconsciously determine whether or not they are friend or foe or just meh. It’s part of our instinctive fight-or-flight auto-response. You can call it judgement or being picky or whatever haters wanna call it, but it is a vital part of the existence of our very species.
And we do that just by looking at someone, usually with no other context or communication or any real clue whatsoever about who that person really is. But here, in “this” world, you get the added benefit of pictures and words and likes and actually have some time to evaluate people before you are ***d to pass judgment.
So, are you being too choosy? Damn right you are and 100% rightfully so. To do anything less will rarely improve your views of the individual but creates the risk reducing your own feeling of self-worth.

[ma****]

I'm very choosy with who I want in my life and that's fine.

Some people can't handle rejection. I assume that those people haven't even taken the time to read your profile. If they can't handle rejection, can you imagine how they would treat their partners (either a play partner or lover or possibly a friend) when their partner isn't happy with something?

[Myia]

I mean, I was always told I was very picky with my food

[Na****]

11 minutes ago, Myia said:

I mean, I was always told I was very picky with my food

LOL! Same😂

[Se****]

25 minutes ago, Myia said:

I mean, I was always told I was very picky with my food

Exactly. It IS important what you put in your body! 😉

[Th****]

5 hours ago, DonnaH said:

I like when my profile says I’m totally sub and I get dozens of guys wanting me to domme them? Do they read anything???

OMG right??? Dude... "Peg me mistress" will get you nowhere lol

[Su****]

People just can’t handle that kind of rejection! It’s their problem not yours! Playing around with people has to be some kind of connection

[Fa****]

I’ve not been accused of being too choosy per se but I have been told that I “don’t know what I want” or “how can I know I’m not interested”.

The best, most recently, was a guy I told from his initial message I want interested - he told me I had mental health problems and needed to get some help and he was pleased he’d been able to “help” me with this.

[an****]

IMHO it’s best not to respond when disinterested. It seems to mostly get FU messages back.

[na****]

When someone is rejected the most common emotion is anger it’s a natural instinctual response.

As @anaheim818has suggested, I concur, no response is better then one of rejection. It may seem Rude, but it doesn’t trigger those primal instincts.

[Wi****]

I feel this. I used to try and be polite and respond to everyone, even if to just acknowledge their message and let them know I wasn’t interested. I was never rude about it. 99.9% of the time it led to either abusive or coercive responses. I now just see it as a form of self care to not put myself in that position.

[Vu****]

I'd love to say say you shouldn't feel an obligation to respond because the sender expects it. But the best of luck to you can be seen negatively even though you're coming from a positive standpoint. Like some others said best not to respond and keep it moving. As for me, I'll check the profile to go from there, as for on the sending side. I'll send something based on around the profile or role(s). After I'll just move on, no response means rejected to me, so i move on. Keep going rinse and repeat, and then again, I don't get attached to just typing a single message. I find it completely irrational. I try to maintain the approach "everyone has their own autonomy." I respect yours, and you respect mine. We have enough shit going on in our lives on a daily basis. There is no need to add more stress to it.

[JJ****]

For my experiences I will say not everyone is a good fit and though some surface evaluation do turn out to be wrong more often than not reading a profile and the initial conversation tells a lot. On a personal not I’ve turned down people and been turned and not making a connection is a part of any search. I however do appreciate a reply stating there’s no connection or too far or to tame or crazy rather than just being ghosted or blocked without explanation of any kind and in return I try to always do the same.

[Sk****]

Why strangers feel like they can either rip you a new one or manipulate you into doubting that you don’t know what you want - They’re selfish, entitled a**holes that want their way and /or don’t know how to handle rejection.

There comes a point to where we all learn The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k. You’re not obligated to explain sh*t to them. I’ve cordially declined. It’s not often met with backlash or challenges, but when it is, I disengage. Someone like this isn’t worth my breath. They can’t respect my personal opinion and challenge it? Yeah… that’s not someone I wish to entertain.

[Deleted Member]

High expectations often yield high disappointments. 🤷‍♂️

[ma****]

1 hour ago, TommyBee said:

High expectations often yield high disappointments. 🤷‍♂️

There's absolutely nothing wrong in having high expectations.

[To****]

I definitely have never been accused of being too choosy. As long as it’s not covered by belly or hair or smelly . I’ll take it. I’m sorry I know that’s opposite to what you were going for

[Deleted Member]

I know there the saying treat people how you want to be treated but I say treat them how they treat you.

[Pl****]

"You know how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet." - Cher Horowitz

[Th****]

3 hours ago, Ranger7100 said:

I know there the saying treat people how you want to be treated but I say treat them how they treat you.

Oh but when I do that I'm "such a b*tch" 🤷‍♀️. Lol

[Deleted Member]

Are they perceived to be out of your lane? Because they must be extremely ugly people then.

[Sl****]

My friend did mention to me I am being too choosy. But I told her that after a 3 year highly problematic relationship where I was just constantly ***d there is no chance I’m getting with anyone that can’t be with me forever. I’m not looking to fool around and I’m just making friends at this point so they can try and find my “too choosy” person as well as me.

I would only ever talk to people as friends unless I find they are more compatible with me for a date. On that date I’ll find out everything annnd it usually just falls short.

I’ve gone on about 35 dates in the last year All who were incompatible with me but some were close, but just not it. 30 of them became friends and were willing to do some seeking for me. More of a challenge for them and they realise how hard it is especially if they say “oh there’s someone out there for you looking for you”

So I say “go on then. Prove it to me” and wow do they find it extremely difficult to find anyone that’s close to matching what I need, so haha don’t worry! Being too choosy makes you safe, protected and eventually you’ll be loved so much by the person/s you really needed.

[Me****]

I need to write a new chapter in your book!! I’m in nyc - we must meet to review !

[Deleted Member]

You are not choosy in liking the things that you like, and being attracted to the things that you’re attracted to. Everyone is allowed to be attracted to her they’re attracted to to like what they like. 
And if that attraction and or like is not reciprocated, it is your obligation to move on, and find someone who does reciprocate your traction, and or like for the things that you do. To have someone call you choosy shows that they are way more problematic than you could ever be because they’re trying to manipulate you into changing your opinion on the things that you like and the things that you’re attracted to. 

[Slomoshn]

I know exactly how you feel.