Deleted Member Posted January 10, 2023 Posted January 10, 2023 I agree with all the statement from CopperKnob and GoodGirlBetter Brat. Once a potential Dom has passed these hurdles I continue vetting when evaluating as a play partner. After one or more meet/greets in a public vanilla venue I’ll share what is allowed in our first scene. For example, a negative STD test result. Condoms are required for penetration however none will occur on first scene. 1.) You may use your fingers and these toys to penetrate me. 2.) You may spank me using hand or these toys on my backside only 3.) You may restrain or bound my upper or lower extremities. Not both. 4) You may orgasm on my torso (not pussy/anus) or extremities. 5.) The scene may last up to 60 mins. 6.) After care 15mins 7.) Discussion on positive and negative impact. Terminate partnership or expand.
Deleted Member Posted January 13, 2023 Posted January 13, 2023 They don’t make the conversation sexual right away
Nocturne Posted January 15, 2023 Posted January 15, 2023 - Asks about boundaries - Wants to have serious conversations about kink and life as a whole - Stays calm - Is open to questions about preferences - States limits and gives updates if they change - Informs any issues immediately - Doesn't avoid stating boundaries - Sees partner in BDSM/anything else as a person, can talk about things other than BDSM - Shows compassion
St**** Posted January 21, 2023 Posted January 21, 2023 It's completely inconceivable for me to not have a meaningful relationship first and be like-minded. That implies the capacity to have interesting conversations about all the topics than sex. It's really that simple. We are at our best when we are *** and honest to each other.
ti**** Posted January 22, 2023 Posted January 22, 2023 Respect first and foremost getting to know someone before bringing up anything like kinks or limits and effective communication to make sure both parties are comfortable with where the conversation is going. I’ve had so many experiences that have given me a love-hate relationship with this community because so many people just think it’s a place where you can just come f**k freely without any respect without any compassion and without any limits.
fa**** Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 For me it's a series of green flags going up before play and sexual activity. It's making sure the person is comfortable with me and my fetish. Either a green flag is going to come up or a red flag(they are not comfortable) that ends it all during each step or meeting. Each step a flag is raised. Green only means continuance of the conversation and dialogue progressing into kinky conversation. Then the real night happens and the play starts. After that the green flag is raised or lowered.
Deleted Member Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 So question for all the ladies: do you prefer us to approach you gently in the first meeting or just get straight into it and dive straight into the kinks? I for one am a nice guy but with a fierce dom side, so I figured I'd express affection by both acts; fulfilling your fantasies and giving you a great time, then follow it up with taking you out to dinner or cuddling together, etc. I'm 100% both. The thing is, is me approaching you with the kinks right out of the bag because of this app a green flag or a red flag for you? 🤔
Li**** Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 1 hour ago, slut_tamer_97 said: So question for all the ladies: do you prefer us to approach you gently in the first meeting or just get straight into it and dive straight into the kinks? I for one am a nice guy but with a fierce dom side, so I figured I'd express affection by both acts; fulfilling your fantasies and giving you a great time, then follow it up with taking you out to dinner or cuddling together, etc. I'm 100% both. The thing is, is me approaching you with the kinks right out of the bag because of this app a green flag or a red flag for you? 🤔 Red. If respect is shown, respect is given. It's not a good impression and leaves a foul taste to have someone try to call you a name or degrade, belittle or fantasise over you without even a simple "Hello", which could be continued similarly to "Nice reading your profile. Would you be interested in talking?" I hate the fact because it's a Kink friendly dating app, that's the only topic anyone approaches with. Sex. I think reading a profile and taking the time to take in their information gives you a hint of what they might be seeking
Deleted Member Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 29 minutes ago, LittleSoulTease said: Red. If respect is shown, respect is given. It's not a good impression and leaves a foul taste to have someone try to call you a name or degrade, belittle or fantasise over you without even a simple "Hello", which could be continued similarly to "Nice reading your profile. Would you be interested in talking?" I hate the fact because it's a Kink friendly dating app, that's the only topic anyone approaches with. Sex. I think reading a profile and taking the time to take in their information gives you a hint of what they might be seeking Great to know, thanks!
saintsaltysynz Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 Respect begins with respect don’t expect respect when disrespect comes instead of respect and don’t expect not being disrespected back. Each their own. Byeee ♏️💯⛓️🦂🖤💎🌡️💋
An**** Posted January 30, 2023 Posted January 30, 2023 Red flags to look out for is trauma dumping bascily what happend to me in my last to failed relationships was I let my kindness get the better of me the some green flags I look out for is approachableity I usually don't like making the first move (because I'm dumb) but if someone approaches me and is kind then I would consider talking to someone more
Jeromiah Posted February 2, 2023 Posted February 2, 2023 So far there's only a few who do these green flags. Not many.mkst approach me wanting to immediately talk about their kinks or some sort of sexual talk. Even when it states I don't want to do or talk sexual they still do so in pm anyway. It's really annoying.
MsDrawers Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Asking about your boundaries and respecting them. Being happy to take things at your pace. Displaying healthy boundaries of their own. Demonstrating a willingness and ability to converse in a pleasant way that indicates their awareness they're speaking with a fellow human.
Du**** Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 They read my profile. Especially between the lines - I can always tell! 😆
Ki**** Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Two years of patient listening, Hello and Goodbye,, and then Hello again....and even after the roller coaster,(" could we possibly meet, sir?"), his simple "Absolutely".
mr**** Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 People who wear grey beany hats in the profile picture is a green flag
Fr**** Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Having the desire to see their partner(s) do well and succeed in their dreams even if they are in a D/s relationship
Gr**** Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 (edited) Online✅ They greet me by my username rather than by an honorific. ✅ They're fine with staying on the platform on which we started chatting. ✅ They're local to me, within the age range I'm looking for, and within the D/s role I'm interested in. ✅ They're attending the same event I'm going to, or are accepting my offer of a daytime coffee date and - weather permitting - a walk. ✅ They see how much I write and about what, and can match me for written conversation. ✅ Their primary interest in contacting me is in us getting to know each other before meeting.✅ They answer questions, even if the answer is "I don't know" or "I don't understand."✅ They follow my conversational lead. ✅ If they question a fact I've stated, they look up the data themselves - in another browser tab, perhaps. In Person ✅ They're interested in us getting to know each other better. ✅ They seem comfortable in their skin, with their gender presentation, and in their surroundings. ✅ They have acceptable daily hygiene. ✅ They're willing to "stay with the herd" to continue the conversation where we can be witnessed.✅ They follow my conversational and physical leads, thus respecting boundaries. ✅ If they question a fact I've stated, they look up the data themselves with their smart device. ✅ Our first meeting involves g - pg13 rated beverages (coffee, tea, kombucha, etc.). ✅ They're helpful and courteous. Edited March 21, 2023 by Griot Somehow it got posted before I'd actually typed anything.
ca**** Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 I suppose there can be many... but... When i realise that they are seeking something... When I realise that I can bring something 'to the party' that they are seeking, something that will work for them (and me). (and the above works both ways) That gets my attention and gets a response..... and it is all intertwined!
Dark_Norse_Heart666 Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Mental & emotional stability, good communication skills, respect of boundaries or respect of the fact that i'm sexually repressed & not really experienced with sex/BDSM in-person at least. Mutual effort, compatibility, equality, respect, support, loyalty, compassion, empathy, comfort respect from a Dom as a woman and sub. The vanilla non-sexual aspect of a dynamic. A open-minded, spiritual person, that understands for me at least that to have a bond/connection with someone is sacred, it should be appreciated, respected & not taken for granted. I like having a spiritual dynamic that involves BDSM/witchcraft/spiritual beliefs & practices, astral projection/astral sex. A connection/bond to me at least is a mental, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual, astral, and psychic connection/bond, so it means everything to me to be fully accepted/understood/respected in a spiritual/psychic/sexual context.
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