**TW** Self managing masochism problematic?

[Darkpuppy]

**TW - Trigger Warning** - Reason: Knife Play/Cutting

 

So, I have a *** Kink and an obsession with knives. I use to have a knife collection but lost some of my knives when I moved. When I see a nice sharp knife I imagine cutting something with it. I had a partner I use to play with and tease them like the good little thing they were. Such a pretty little thing they were. Playing with them was like a cat playing with a rat in it's grasp. Sometimes I'll cut myself by accident playing with my knives and just watch the *** drip curiously. Sometimes there's a lot of *** and I didn't even cut myself that bad, I just had a very sharp blade. Anyways, in Lue of not currently having a proper playmate I was attempting to satiate these urges on my own. However, considering things like cutting one self is considered self harm I *** I might risk getting cuaght and than be committed from the belief that I am suicidal vs just ***fully kinky. I get such a rush from seeing a blade cut into things and I get such a high off being cut, bit, bruised, burned. Does anyone have any thoughts on the subject? Most of the partners I been finding lately are either not into what I'm into or else keep breaking my hard limits. One might argue that if one is going to break my limits than I should in turn break theirs and just cut them and make myself happy. I'm no where near that vindictive though as I believe in getting consent first. So I'm at a loss as to what to do about this that won't prove problematic in some manner. Normally I ignore these inclinations but occasionally when I become too frustrated I have issues sleeping. 

[Gr****]

What the heck. “If they break my hard limits I might as well cut them and make myself happy???!!!!!” Seriously NO.

It sounds like you might need some support or therapy as this sounds like an unhealthy obsession not simply a fetish or kink, it’s impacting your sleep, and making you consider dangerous (not to mention illegal) ideas like cutting a non-consenting partner. Which is deeply concerning. Not least because if you were insane enough to do it, while you might think it’s ‘nothing really’ to them it may mean a call to the police, and at worst if they totally freak out (a justified and reasonable response to that/your uncontrolled insane behaviour) who knows what might occur, a panicked struggle could easily lead to serious *** or death, and your “need” for gratification might lead you to a jail for the rest of your life.

From what you have said I would seriously suggest you immediately remove knives from any and all of your play and tbh I think you need to stop all activities and seek help. Additionally I would suggest you sell or remove your knife collection from your own access.

SSC and RACK. Not this nonsense.

I hope you see the reality of what you are saying and significantly take a look in the mirror and realise how unhealthy and not OK it is.

[Gr****]

Also as an fyi it’s “in lieu” 🙂

[Darkpuppy]

3 hours ago, Greyeyes1 said:

What the heck. “If they break my hard limits I might as well cut them and make myself happy???!!!!!” Seriously NO.

It sounds like you might need some support or therapy as this sounds like an unhealthy obsession not simply a fetish or kink, it’s impacting your sleep, and making you consider dangerous (not to mention illegal) ideas like cutting a non-consenting partner. Which is deeply concerning. Not least because if you were insane enough to do it, while you might think it’s ‘nothing really’ to them it may mean a call to the police, and at worst if they totally freak out (a justified and reasonable response to that/your uncontrolled insane behaviour) who knows what might occur, a panicked struggle could easily lead to serious *** or death, and your “need” for gratification might lead you to a jail for the rest of your life.

From what you have said I would seriously suggest you immediately remove knives from any and all of your play and tbh I think you need to stop all activities and seek help. Additionally I would suggest you sell or remove your knife collection from your own access.

SSC and RACK. Not this nonsense.

I hope you see the reality of what you are saying and significantly take a look in the mirror and realise how unhealthy and not OK it is.

I do believe you missed the part where I said I would never break someone else's limits. I more upset of others constantly breaking my consent and becoming rather irritated with it. As I said I'm not vindictive enough to go against another's will in such a manner. I posted this here as I figured this would be a safe place vs discussing it else where. There is a reason I am attempting to manage this without harming an unwilling participant as I do have a basic sense of ethics. Though I suppose I should thank you as you are the first to auctully leave a comment on this post of mine. So I appreciate the input. 

Edited February 7, 2023 by Darkpuppy

[Col-2919]

L read all about you and l got. You sound just fine to me , well done 👍

[Sy****]

I used to have a *** of *** and i learned to deal with it by study. In lieu of a positive outlet for your emotions study social networking at a comunity college or stop hurting things. Either way dont degrade your comunity with the stuff you do. Do the right thing.

[Darkpuppy]

14 hours ago, SysiphusBolder said:

I used to have a *** of *** and i learned to deal with it by study. In lieu of a positive outlet for your emotions study social networking at a comunity college or stop hurting things. Either way dont degrade your comunity with the stuff you do. Do the right thing.

I not sure where you got the idea anyone was hurting things. 

[BruiseWayne]

On 2/6/2023 at 8:09 PM, Darkpuppy said:

One might argue that if one is going to break my limits than I should in turn break theirs and just cut them and make myself happy

🤦🤦🤦

 

This? No.

 

Therapy? Yes.

 

[Darkpuppy]

4 hours ago, BruiseWayne said:

🤦🤦🤦

 

This? No.

 

Therapy? Yes.

 

I guess you failed to read the rest of the post and the context for which this was said. Also if you want to argue forcing an act on others without permission is okay and being upset about is it not okay. What do you propose as a solution? I already posted I'm not  vindictive. 

Edited February 14, 2023 by Darkpuppy

[BruiseWayne]

Just now, Darkpuppy said:

I guess you failed to read the rest of the post and the context for which this was said. Also if you want to argue forcing an act on others without permission is okay and being upset about is it not okay. What do you propose as a solution? 

No I read the whole thing. I never said any of that shit. Crossing someone's limits is not okay, but neither is fucking knifing them in retaliation.

 

My solution would be to stop the scene, tell them that wasn't cool, and if they're someone you GAF about give them a chance to apologize and redeem themselves before you reach for the goddamn knife, lol.

 

Unless the person is physically assaulting you in this scenario IDK why you'd be fantasizing about putting extra holes in them or slicing them open.

[Deleted Member]

If you are going to do it, I would suggest having a safety person present at all times who can administer first aid or get help if needed. I'd also suggest some research on your part to reduce damage to yourself.

[Darkpuppy]

3 hours ago, BruiseWayne said:

No I read the whole thing. I never said any of that shit. Crossing someone's limits is not okay, but neither is fucking knifing them in retaliation.

 

My solution would be to stop the scene, tell them that wasn't cool, and if they're someone you GAF about give them a chance to apologize and redeem themselves before you reach for the goddamn knife, lol.

 

Unless the person is physically assaulting you in this scenario IDK why you'd be fantasizing about putting extra holes in them or slicing them open.

Again, I never retaliated. I already said that I would never be that vindictive. Though one having to physically harm someone who is forcibly breaking a boundary and  cuasing unwanted harm against ones will is argubly justified. Either way niether party is happy cuase niether one is getting what they want and niether party is cooperating. How decent of a human we are is always our choice though and ours alone. You can always choose the higher road. 

Edited February 14, 2023 by Darkpuppy

[Darkpuppy]

1 hour ago, Lady_Char said:

If you are going to do it, I would suggest having a safety person present at all times who can administer first aid or get help if needed. I'd also suggest some research on your part to reduce damage to yourself.

That's an interesting suggestion. How would I start this conversation without cuasing alarm though? 

[JayGGold]

On 2/6/2023 at 8:09 PM, Darkpuppy said:

**TW - Trigger Warning** - Reason: Knife Play/Cutting

 

So, I have a *** Kink and an obsession with knives. I use to have a knife collection but lost some of my knives when I moved. When I see a nice sharp knife I imagine cutting something with it. I had a partner I use to play with and tease them like the good little thing they were. Such a pretty little thing they were. Playing with them was like a cat playing with a rat in it's grasp. Sometimes I'll cut myself by accident playing with my knives and just watch the *** drip curiously. Sometimes there's a lot of *** and I didn't even cut myself that bad, I just had a very sharp blade. Anyways, in Lue of not currently having a proper playmate I was attempting to satiate these urges on my own. However, considering things like cutting one self is considered self harm I *** I might risk getting cuaght and than be committed from the belief that I am suicidal vs just ***fully kinky. I get such a rush from seeing a blade cut into things and I get such a high off being cut, bit, bruised, burned. Does anyone have any thoughts on the subject? Most of the partners I been finding lately are either not into what I'm into or else keep breaking my hard limits. One might argue that if one is going to break my limits than I should in turn break theirs and just cut them and make myself happy. I'm no where near that vindictive though as I believe in getting consent first. So I'm at a loss as to what to do about this that won't prove problematic in some manner. Normally I ignore these inclinations but occasionally when I become too frustrated I have issues sleeping. 

I totally understand the concern of misunderstanding; it happens all the time. And I'd totally be fine with like, "No, not depressed, just masochistic." I find that to be very rare, which explains why the "depressed" stereotype has become a thing.