Public Play And Consent

[ge****]

A lot is made in the kink/fetish world about the absolute importance of consent between all involved, and rightly so.
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However a couple of recent threads have highlighted an area where consent cannot possibly be gained from those that could potentially view or become party to the activity concerned - and that's the consent of the general public (adults and children alike) when playing out kinks in public.
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Now obviously there are safeguards that can be taken to minimise the risk of a member of the public viewing something they may not wish to see - but the fact the potential is there for them to do so is a risk that cannot be completely eliminated.
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There is also obviously the risk of potential indecency, or worse, laws coming into play.
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Now I get the excitement and how the risk heightens that excitement, but is the risk of police action or inflicting your kink on those that may not want to see worth it?
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If you're someone that indulges in public activities with your kink/fetish how do you safeguard both yourself and the public at large whose consent you cannot get if they should happen to unwittingly, or in some cases by deliberate action by those indulging in the activity, come to view it?
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Or is the kind of activity where the public may view it something that should remain an exciting but unfulfilled fantasy?

[Fl****]

As someone who is an avid exhibitionist I may be a bit biased but I feel as if when I am fully nude in public I want to be viewed as if I was how anybody else would be viewed as, just another person, I just happen to be wearing nothing but a smile and a boner ;)

[typhoon2]

Don't forget that any Police investigation is likely to see officials going through your mobile (cell) phone looking for evidence, which might involve others who were not present but who share those interests. Cans of worms are best left undisturbed. All of this is secondary to the moral argument that gemini_man stresses of non-consenting engagement.

[CopperKnob]

Yeah but, what if the public or the Police enjoy the show though?

[ge****]

4 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Yeah but, what if the public or the Police enjoy the show though?

The point being you cannot possibly know if they will or won't

[ge****]

32 minutes ago, FlashCocknBalls said:

As someone who is an avid exhibitionist I may be a bit biased but I feel as if when I am fully nude in public I want to be viewed as if I was how anybody else would be viewed as, just another person, I just happen to be wearing nothing but a smile and a boner ;)

I can understand that - but how do you balance that against a public that may not want to see you that way?

[se****]

Thank you for writing this post!!👏👏

Edited February 17, 2023 by seonny
Misspelling

[ey****]

while things could always be better there are now more options available - from fetish parties being openly advertised you can attend - which includes specialist on the public *** aspect (Shamed) or something more for outdoor exhibitionist (Kinky Kamping)

However there's bits I also think which comes down to the context of what the public play is - that for example there is a big difference in walking down a busy high street wearing horribly pink frilly knickers under your pants, and having sex in public - with assorted shades in between which - lots of context involves, but yep especially if somewhat of the purpose is being seen by public then it is non-consensually involving them in the scene.

But there are of course often assorted straw arguments come up on discussion like this - citing any form of public affection or whatever - and sometimes I think, you know - if I went down Northumberland St on a collar and lead it'd be "non consensually involving people in my kinks" but if I was handing out flyers for a new restaurant it'd be "marketing" and if I was two famous actors or musicians it'd be "PR".

So I feel the kinda thing a little bit is that you kinda know yourself if it's wrong or right - and - like - also, know the laws you're breaking and the consequences of being caught.  A somewhat vital part of a lot of kink - from the police, to family to employers to the press (as has happened to some) what is the risk and consequence and can you realistically manage it?  

[se****]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

Yeah but, what if the public or the Police enjoy the show though?

I agree with you, there are some. The other some might had a hard day of work or something crappy, and just want to go home or outing peacefully. Also, alot of children look alot older than their actual age. They might see it, and decides to copy. The problems are they are underage, and mostly likely won't be told the negative things by an adult. People who likes to do these should think "would it bother me if my children saw this, especially if they are too young".

[do****]

This. I'm curious aswell, so far I haven't come up with any good arguments that could justify public play when held to the necessary standards of consent.

[Fl****]

I guess I just try to look at the positive before even considering any negative take and just roll with it, seems to be working for me so far lol

[CopperKnob]

38 minutes ago, seonny said:

I agree with you, there are some. The other some might had a hard day of work or something crappy, and just want to go home or outing peacefully. Also, alot of children look alot older than their actual age. They might see it, and decides to copy. The problems are they are underage, and mostly likely won't be told the negative things by an adult. People who likes to do these should think "would it bother me if my children saw this, especially if they are too young".

My comment was a wind up 😉
I thought I'd get a silly comment in before anyone else. Turns out I failed miserably 🤣

[CopperKnob]

34 minutes ago, FlashCocknBalls said:

I guess I just try to look at the positive before even considering any negative take and just roll with it, seems to be working for me so far lol

Being mindful of others isn't really a negative though is it

[Deleted Member]

Think some people overlook the fact, depending on the public activity, that they could end up on the sex offenders register & if a child sees, they could be classed as a child sex offender.

[ge****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

while things could always be better there are now more options available - from fetish parties being openly advertised you can attend - which includes specialist on the public *** aspect (Shamed) or something more for outdoor exhibitionist (Kinky Kamping)

However there's bits I also think which comes down to the context of what the public play is - that for example there is a big difference in walking down a busy high street wearing horribly pink frilly knickers under your pants, and having sex in public - with assorted shades in between which - lots of context involves, but yep especially if somewhat of the purpose is being seen by public then it is non-consensually involving them in the scene.

But there are of course often assorted straw arguments come up on discussion like this - citing any form of public affection or whatever - and sometimes I think, you know - if I went down Northumberland St on a collar and lead it'd be "non consensually involving people in my kinks" but if I was handing out flyers for a new restaurant it'd be "marketing" and if I was two famous actors or musicians it'd be "PR".

So I feel the kinda thing a little bit is that you kinda know yourself if it's wrong or right - and - like - also, know the laws you're breaking and the consequences of being caught.  A somewhat vital part of a lot of kink - from the police, to family to employers to the press (as has happened to some) what is the risk and consequence and can you realistically manage it?  

All good points as usual Eyem and you're absolutely right context plays a part as does common sense, discretion, circumstance and various other factors.
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What sparked the thought, and this thread, though was a couple of recent threads where some of the suggested activities clearly involved the potential for members of the public to be exposed to acts that crossed the line - such as driving naked in a car and slowing down so pedestrians could see - which clearly said pedestrians could not consent to.
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Yes it's a fine line between what is acceptable and not, but when that line is clearly crossed it is a *** of consent of anyone that may inadvertently (or in some cases having it deliberately exposed to them) witness - and its cases like that I'm referring to in my OP.

[ey****]

8 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

though was a couple of recent threads where some of the suggested activities clearly involved the potential for members of the public to be exposed to acts that crossed the line - such as driving naked in a car and slowing down so pedestrians could see - which clearly said pedestrians could not consent to.

there was stuff on that thread which I felt have some of the frustrating elements of kink - the OP had a fantasy and accepted it was probably only a fantasy (albeit, one they could still enjoy in their head) and then there were folks as you say coming in with elaborate suggestions - which - actually, would come with a fine, points on license AND prosecution for public indecency.

But yeah, I think there's a lot in the "howay" kind of things

[Ar****]

47 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

My comment was a wind up 😉
I thought I'd get a silly comment in before anyone else. Turns out I failed miserably 🤣

For what it's worth, I knew 😆🤷‍♂️

[Fa****]

Out of interest (and I’m really not trying to be a d**khead, I’m genuinely curious) in relation especially to the nudity within your own “space” how does this factor in with someone who, for example, sunbathes semi naked in their own garden? Or changes with the blinds open? Both of which have an element of the public seeing something they may not want to but aren’t necessarily “kink” activities.

In my mind (perhaps because I do them) I see no issue with these as it’s my own personal space but I am fully prepared to admit that I could be wrong.

My mother always used to get cross with me for changing/being naked with the curtains/blinds open. My response, it’s my house and they shouldn’t be looking. Now however I’m pondering the “fairness” of my statement.

(Hope this comment is taken how it’s meant) x

[se****]

5 hours ago, FlashCocknBalls said:

As someone who is an avid exhibitionist I may be a bit biased but I feel as if when I am fully nude in public I want to be viewed as if I was how anybody else would be viewed as, just another person, I just happen to be wearing nothing but a smile and a boner

I don't see it the same, but thank you for sharing your thoughts.💖

[Chilled321]

What if they join in without consent! Especially the police ...... do they understand consent and that "No" means "No".

[ge****]

7 hours ago, FatefulDestiny said:

Out of interest (and I’m really not trying to be a d**khead, I’m genuinely curious) in relation especially to the nudity within your own “space” how does this factor in with someone who, for example, sunbathes semi naked in their own garden? Or changes with the blinds open? Both of which have an element of the public seeing something they may not want to but aren’t necessarily “kink” activities.

In my mind (perhaps because I do them) I see no issue with these as it’s my own personal space but I am fully prepared to admit that I could be wrong.

My mother always used to get cross with me for changing/being naked with the curtains/blinds open. My response, it’s my house and they shouldn’t be looking. Now however I’m pondering the “fairness” of my statement.

(Hope this comment is taken how it’s meant) x

Doesn't come across that way at all FD and is a relevant point and highlights perfectly why this is such a tricky subject.
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Again I think it all comes down to context - whilst I don't think the "they shouldn't be looking" view is debatable, in the instances you describe I don't think it comes down to offending public decency either - not unless you were deliberately attracting attention to yourself by dancing around naked in front of the window whilst whacking off with a dildo anyway 😉 😄
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It's also arguable that the kind of things you describe are not in the public space but your own private space too.
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The kind of things I'm referring to in my OP are where the activity is truly in the public arena - naked in cars with pedestrians/other motorists being encouraged to see, or groping in shops etc - the kind of thing where there is an element of risk of members of the public (who you cannot possibly get consent from) seeing

[ey****]

some public indecency laws vary by territory - but - in the UK....

being private land/property is not enough.   It has to be private land/property and not be viewable from any public point.

But a lot is where you draw the line.  So for example I think there is a world of difference between sunbathing topless in the garden - compared to other forms of public play.

For getting changed with the curtains open.   If a man was deliberately nude ("getting changed") at a time when schools go in or out - we'd have a word for that.   If he swore it wasn't deliberate or that people shouldn't be looking etc. we'd probably tell him not to do it again rather than be sympathetic. So, I think it's then important to apply that to other context. 

[Fa****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Again I think it all comes down to context - whilst I don't think the "they shouldn't be looking" view is debatable, in the instances you describe I don't think it comes down to offending public decency either - not unless you were deliberately attracting attention to yourself by dancing around naked in front of the window whilst whacking off with a dildo anyway 😉 

Do you live near me? Hours did you know this is exactly what I do??? 🤔😝

[QXX666]

1- the police are far too busy or not interested to respond at 2 peoples indulging in a spanking session in a park or else. 
2- kids at the age of 8 start watching porn or worse so they won’t be shocked by anything they see in the street. 
3- public consent is constantly ***d every day by more important acts. Crime, ***, spitting on the floor, vape/smoking in front of me when I walk etc

4- most tv programs content at some point some kinky reference 

 

now not sure what kind of activities you are referring, so it all depends of the intensity level. 
nudity, sexual acts with genital exposure, impact play, slapping etc are obviously a no go. 
the rest is up to your moral choice. Personally I don’t indulge much outside the bedroom. I took few times my subs for a walk chained and naked in the countryside but I knew the place would be quiet. And another time for something else which was controlled too. But then again I am more of a CnC darker side. 

[Fa****]

9 hours ago, QXX666 said:

1- the police are far too busy or not interested to respond at 2 peoples indulging in a spanking session in a park or else. 
2- kids at the age of 8 start watching porn or worse so they won’t be shocked by anything they see in the street. 
3- public consent is constantly ***d every day by more important acts. Crime, ***, spitting on the floor, vape/smoking in front of me when I walk etc

4- most tv programs content at some point some kinky reference 

 

now not sure what kind of activities you are referring, so it all depends of the intensity level. 
nudity, sexual acts with genital exposure, impact play, slapping etc are obviously a no go. 
the rest is up to your moral choice. Personally I don’t indulge much outside the bedroom. I took few times my subs for a walk chained and naked in the countryside but I knew the place would be quiet. And another time for something else which was controlled too. But then again I am more of a CnC darker side. 

Wow. Just… I have no words.