Are Vanilla Kinks still kinks?

[Deleted Member]

Have you ever heard the response, "that's not kinky".

In a way I feel like it is a slight amount of kink shaming. I like what I like.

A few examples;

Asking a woman to wear a tight sweater dress to show off all her curves, and knees high boots to match.

Asking a woman to wear a sundress with no bra and a thong.

Bobbie pins on her nipples while she rides me so I can play with her tits while she gets off

[un****]

everyone has a different definition what my definition is will be different from yours no two peoples definitions will ever be the same

[ey****]

normally I say things are not mutually exclusive - but in this case they are

a kink is something that is not vanilla and vanilla is something that is not a kink.

However, different people do draw the lines in different places - a lot of that can be down to region, territory and what is culturally/socially 'acceptable' as means of discussion

that said - all of your examples are vanilla.  But there is nothing wrong with that.

[Deleted Member]

I think that George Carlin made a relevant analogy about driving: everyone driving slower than you are assholes, and everyone driving faster than you are maniacs.

It’s relative. Some folks refuse to understand that.

[AKA_Copper]

I think that kink can be defined by an activity that is unconventional. So I guess if you consider asking someone to wear tight clothing and knee high boots or to not wear underwear as that then so be it.
I don't consider those things to be unconventional so I don't see them as kinky. Some dresses, or other items of clothing, aren't suitable to wear underwear and frankly I have several pairs of knee high boots that I wear in Winter months
That doesn't mean I'm 'kink shaming' anyone, it's simply my view as things that are typical rather than out of the ordinary.

[Deleted Member]

8 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

normally I say things are not mutually exclusive - but in this case they are

a kink is something that is not vanilla and vanilla is something that is not a kink.

However, different people do draw the lines in different places - a lot of that can be down to region, territory and what is culturally/socially 'acceptable' as means of discussion

that said - all of your examples are vanilla.  But there is nothing wrong with that.

To me a kink can be anything you want… if you only want missionary and every other position is wrong…

All his examples could be a kink.. example… sweater, it’s the persons thought of high heel and kisses them, or perhaps you like the smell of sweat

Sundress… bouncy boobs flow differently, or the fact of that maybe she removes her panties and hands it to you

Bobbie pins…. Is a *** kink or bondage

It’s more of how those things make you feel or the situation around them or the thought. Kink is more of a feeling or situation to me

[ge****]

The thing is to some doing it with the lights on is kinky, it's all about individual tastes and desires which is why it's best not to worry about what others think - if it's a kink/fetish to you that's all that matters

[SophieSubSlut11]

I find vanilla people are the only people who use that term in a derogative way among each other.
I only use ‘vanilla’ to differentiate between that and Kinksters like myself Who live the lifestyle, as opposed to a few kinks. But I have huge respect and time for vanilla space as well. I think the examples you mentioned are that of someone a little bit kinky, but like everything - it’s a spectrum. You might not necessarily be a fully fledged kinkster or someone into BDSM, but you can certainly have a few kinks. And we need those distinctions otherwise, you can end up with someone who describes themselves as Kinky trying to be a Dominant when they aren’t and you end up in a very unsafe situation - for example.

[Sweet***45]

I always say I'm vanilla with some spice 😉😈.

[Leisa]

For me I believe what is and is not kink is subjective. Some enjoy light kink such as yours describing while others enjoy something more. Kinks are as unique as individuals. My kinks are most probably not yours and vice versa. In my opinion, if another is trying to tell you that what you consider is not a kink then yes, they are kink shaming you for yours. We need to practice more kindness and understanding and way less judgment on each other.

[Is****]

To me, asking for a partner to wear revealing clothing is part of the exhibitionist kink and possibly voyeurism (especially if you like seeing others reactions to it).

[Pr****]

Kink is relative. No one person can say another’s kink isn’t…