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Hello I've been trying to find a submissive or a slave gf but I haven't had any luck I was on another site but that hasn't worked out so I'm here I'm not sure how to get started so if anyone can give me some ideas I'd appreciate it a lot


I think a question is that if you're not sure where to get started are you even ready to be looking for a sub or slave?

this is something I feel is often a common issue that there are many guys looking for a sub/slave gf but don't really know what that entails and are maybe just after someone to grab them a beer, do the housework and suck cock on command.

So, where to start is to research kink and fetish lifestyles - find/work out what you can offer as part of it : what makes you desirable?   and what you want from it - and, from there, project it.


By your question you actually dont seem to understand what you are looking for. That you dont understand the difference between a sub and a slave. What you have to get here is its not your right, you have to earn the right its not a given. submissives and slaves are strong people and unless you prove yourself worthy you will never get anywhere.  submission is a gift not an entitlement, just because someone identifies one way doesn't mean that you will be offered that. The advice is to educate yourself join in the community and prove your self, prove you understand the responsibility required prove you are worthy. Not doing that shows you dont understand and demonstrates a lazy attitude. What you have to remember here is that it's a partnership, someone offers submission for your dominance, it's a power exchange, they GIVE you the power you do not TAKE it. One bit of advice.... dont be a dick 

I would add to what my learned friend has said also look at what your profile portrays...what is it that sets you apart from the herd....why you ! what makes you more desirable than the next guy...what do you have to offer that others dont!
What the other guys have said....then once you’ve done what @Jed has said, start reading the magazines & forums on here, look at the topics that come up on the forum, ask questions to all of us, listen to the replies etc If you want to find out what the kink world holds in person then maybe start attending a Munch in your local area. Also be patient, learning & looking for a match isn’t a quick process & be prepared to keep changing your mind whilst learning. Good luck

Well of course it’s not easy! 

I just read your intro on your profile and it doesn’t look inviting. 

Also you need to understand that a sub is a big responsibility and as for a slave it’s impossible for you at your level to considering one. 

Good luck anyway 

  • 2 weeks later...

Greetings Niceguy84,  I am in the same boat you are and I sympathize.   I liked what the other members have said.

Be careful with scammers, they can be found on all online dating sites and basically want your *** and will lie, deceive, and trick you a dozen ways to get it.

If you have enjoyable hobbies that include women, enjoy your hobbies and talk with women that have a similar interest.  Get out and attend a munch.  Meet people and talk with them.   Meet some kinksters and find a mentor dom/Master to help you learn the basics.  There is a difference between subs and slaves. 

There are many books on BDSM that you can read and do some research.  It will take time and effort.

Someone suggested going to social public places, museums, art galleries, concerts, and even bars and night clubs. Meeting people, talking with them, getting to know them, be honest with them.  

You might find a girlfriend first then gently bringing the topic up to see if she has any interest in it.  Finding a girlfriend, means getting yourself out there among women, either at events of common interest or doing hobbies of common interest, talking with them, discovering who they are and where they are going.  You might find some women who are interested in you.  

Be comfortable with yourself, confident, and honest.  Make friends with people, male and female.  Your friends might help you find a woman.  Have fun in your search.  Don't drink to excess and be polite.

There are times in everyone's life that being single is just temporary.  Accept it and don't stress over it.  Make some goals to reach your objective.  If it means, learning to dance, visiting a dance club, singing karoke, or just enjoying yourself among other people.  Be yourself and enjoy it.  Have faith that there is a woman that will be your girlfriend.  Take steps to find her (but don't stalk her).  Go out and enjoy your hobbies.  A woman might find you if you are visible and pleasant.  

Good luck out there.

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