HSV and HIV positive kinksters let’s chat

[xTx_or_Sir_John]

11 hours ago, ukguy83kink said:

Ill be honest reading this thread makes me second guess engaging in hookups as i have neither of these stds or illnesses and whilst its brave your all talking about it and tackling the stigma head on, it makes me come down to the realiry that this is a real risk in this type of behaviour and makes me value my health over an orgasm. Not trying to be negative mind but lets not sweep under the carpet the reality neither

Sure. The reality is serious, serious consequences despite quite effective modern treatments. That's why people are so often talking about safety prevention and testing and so are we. But abstinence is a step too far surely or are you basically saying you had a load of unprotected sex without prep and are now regretting your actions which if so you should. Prevent protect and test. Ffs have sex !

[Pe****]

18 hours ago, ukguy83kink said:

Ill be honest reading this thread makes me second guess engaging in hookups as i have neither of these stds or illnesses and whilst its brave your all talking about it and tackling the stigma head on, it makes me come down to the realiry that this is a real risk in this type of behaviour and makes me value my health over an orgasm. Not trying to be negative mind but lets not sweep under the carpet the reality neither

You can’t put a condom on it having hook ups? They’re not really for me but I’m just saying

[Missy45]

5 hours ago, PervyPenelope said:

You can’t put a condom on it having hook ups? They’re not really for me but I’m just saying

But condoms does stop the spread of HSV or HPV. They are both skin to skin contact transmissions if that person is having an outbreak at the time. I believe but don't quote me...I still they could be passed if you are not on medication for HSV.

[ge****]

49 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

But condoms does stop the spread of HSV or HPV. They are both skin to skin contact transmissions if that person is having an outbreak at the time. I believe but don't quote me...I still they could be passed if you are not on medication for HSV.

Not sure if you meant to type "doesn't" rather than "does" there - but to be clear condoms do not prevent exposure to either HSV or HPV given outbreaks aren't limited to the area of the body a condom would cover and as you suggest are passed on by skin to skin contact.
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So for instance if the outbreak was on your inner thigh or groin area a condom wouldn't protect it.
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And even if you are on medication for HSV they only "reduce the chance" of passing it on - so it's not an absolute preventative method.
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HPV there are now vaccines but they have only been available since 2012 and, in the UK anyway, are only routinely given to ***agers and some other categories.

[Deleted Member]

I was abt to post the same co doms act as a barrier but its not guaranteed and me personally i wouldnt risk it for a biscuit, i get some may argue thats not fair to the hiv or hsv sufferer but hey my health comes first

[ge****]

12 minutes ago, ukguy83kink said:

I was abt to post the same co doms act as a barrier but its not guaranteed and me personally i wouldnt risk it for a biscuit, i get some may argue thats not fair to the hiv or hsv sufferer but hey my health comes first

Serious question then - from your profile you say you're looking to "have some fun nsa" - if that prospect becomes a possibility how do you decide whether to proceed, given what you've said here? And given that you have no way of knowing whether someone is STI free?
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The only way you can 100% protect yourself is by being celibate or having absolute, beyond a doubt, trust in a potential partner - which is nearly impossible especially with NSA.

[Missy45]

4 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Not sure if you meant to type "doesn't" rather than "does" there - but to be clear condoms do not prevent exposure to either HSV or HPV given outbreaks aren't limited to the area of the body a condom would cover and as you suggest are passed on by skin to skin contact.
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So for instance if the outbreak was on your inner thigh or groin area a condom wouldn't protect it.
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And even if you are on medication for HSV they only "reduce the chance" of passing it on - so it's not an absolute preventative method.
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HPV there are now vaccines but they have only been available since 2012 and, in the UK anyway, are only routinely given to ***agers and some other categories.

I have a question. Do know anyone personally that has HSV and had a vaginal birth? Because before the medication came out, women with HSV could only have  cesarian section? The reason why is because the mother would pass it to her child.

Edited April 26, 2023 by Missy45

[ge****]

2 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

I have a question. Do know anyone personally that has HSV and had a vaginal birth? Because before the medication came out, women with HSV could only have  cesarian section? The reason why is because the mother would pass it to her child.

I honestly couldn't say either way but not sure of the relevance?

[Missy45]

Just now, gemini_man said:

I honestly couldn't say either way but not sure of the relevance?

The relevance is that the medication for HSV helps it from spreading to your partner or your children because you're not having an outbreak. I say what I say is because I know what I'm talking about. I know someone that gave birth to her children and didn't give it to them because she was on the medication. 

[ge****]

27 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

The relevance is that the medication for HSV helps it from spreading to your partner or your children because you're not having an outbreak. I say what I say is because I know what I'm talking about. I know someone that gave birth to her children and didn't give it to them because she was on the medication. 

This from the CDC website, which is what my earlier post was based on - so somewhat accredited:
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Is there a cure or treatment for genital herpes?
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There is no cure for genital herpes. However, daily use of antiviral medicines can prevent or shorten outbreaks. Antiviral medicines also can reduce the chance of spreading it to others.
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Though several clinical trials have tested vaccines against genital herpes, there is no vaccine currently available to prevent infection. One vaccine trial showed efficacy among women whose partners had HSV-2, but only among women not infected with HSV-1. Efficacy was not observed among men whose partners had HSV-2. Another trial testing the same vaccine showed some protection from genital HSV-1 infection, but none from HSV-2.
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You'll note it says "reduce the chance" not eliminate the chance completely - so if the chance is only reduced, there is still a risk of infection regardless of medication.
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Now obviously health care professionals will be better qualified than you or I to assess the risk in cases like those you suggest and will take into account the CDC guidelines I referenced when doing so, but simple fact is the risk is still there.

[Missy45]

47 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

This from the CDC website, which is what my earlier post was based on - so somewhat accredited:
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Is there a cure or treatment for genital herpes?
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There is no cure for genital herpes. However, daily use of antiviral medicines can prevent or shorten outbreaks. Antiviral medicines also can reduce the chance of spreading it to others.
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Though several clinical trials have tested vaccines against genital herpes, there is no vaccine currently available to prevent infection. One vaccine trial showed efficacy among women whose partners had HSV-2, but only among women not infected with HSV-1. Efficacy was not observed among men whose partners had HSV-2. Another trial testing the same vaccine showed some protection from genital HSV-1 infection, but none from HSV-2.
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You'll note it says "reduce the chance" not eliminate the chance completely - so if the chance is only reduced, there is still a risk of infection regardless of medication.
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Now obviously health care professionals will be better qualified than you or I to assess the risk in cases like those you suggest and will take into account the CDC guidelines I referenced when doing so, but simple fact is the risk is still there.

I really don't care what the CDC say. I know proof and anything else to me is not valid. This is the one thing I WILL NOT go back and forth about especially since I told the proof. I'm done with the subject. 

[ge****]

9 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

I really don't care what the CDC say. I know proof and anything else to me is not valid. This is the one thing I WILL NOT go back and forth about especially since I told the proof. I'm done with the subject. 

Well sounds like we'll have to agree to disagree then but for what it's worth I'll take the evidence of a recognised scientific body over that of a random forum poster when looking to further my knowledge

[Pe****]

Friday at 02:44 PM, punkgothartist said:

Ooh will have to add that to my list to watch.

Yeah the judgment from people being misinformed and being called a “dirty ____” for catching a disease that you didn’t intend to catch… I know a few people have caught them from their long term partner cheating on them, being a victim of SA or just not being vigilant w protection…

Also the amount of people who don’t regularly get tested and could help to prevent these things being spread if they communicated with people 🙃

Can definitely be isolating especially as there isn’t much positive information out there socially yet…

Definitely watch it!! It’s absolutely brilliant and heartbreaking 💔

[Ne****]

April 21, gemini_man said:

The problem with HSV and HPV is that there are no standardised tests for either (certainly not in the UK) unless you get symptoms and there's also no cure for either - though they are rolling out vaccines for HPV to younger age groups here, but that has only been for the past 10 years or so.
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Both have an incredibly high prevalence globally though - HPV is estimated to affect as high as 80% of people globally by the time they are 45 - HSV2 (the STI) it's around 13% globally.
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Neither are something to be ashamed of, and they can't be protected against by wearing a condom - in fact some strains of HPV (and there are many types not all of them STIs) can be passed on by a simple handshake.
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HSV is only infectious if a partner has an outbreak at the time of contact.
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All people can do about either is be open and honest and aware of the risks etc.

With regard to HSV, according to the CDC and other sources, herpes is transmittable at any time, not only by active sores, and also by those who are ‘asymptomatic’ (don’t have outward sign of the virus.)

It’s my understanding that in the state of having active lesions the virus is more easily passed.

https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm#:~:text=Even%20if%20you%20do%20not,it%20is%20manageable%20with%20medicine.

[Ne****]

Wednesday at 07:50 PM, Missy45 said:

The relevance is that the medication for HSV helps it from spreading to your partner or your children because you're not having an outbreak. I say what I say is because I know what I'm talking about. I know someone that gave birth to her children and didn't give it to them because she was on the medication. 

But how does account for the asymptomatic who can still pass the virus AND the so called “viral shedding” which apparently happens in both those with symptoms and those without? Confusion abounds for me even when speaking with and reading from medical personnel. 🥴

[ge****]

33 minutes ago, NexumSange said:

With regard to HSV, according to the CDC and other sources, herpes is transmittable at any time, not only by active sores, and also by those who are ‘asymptomatic’ (don’t have outward sign of the virus.)

It’s my understanding that in the state of having active lesions the virus is more easily passed.

https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm#:~:text=Even%20if%20you%20do%20not,it%20is%20manageable%20with%20medicine.

Thanks for the correction - I'd confused transmission with testing

[Ne****]

5 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Thanks for the correction - I'd confused transmission with testing

To be fair, I want to trust and look to the medical folks, but I’ve also been given so much conflicting info and suggestion, Including one practitioner who in a discussion about HSV said there wasn’t even truly a need to disclose to sex partners 😱😱😱😱😱😱 yeah I switched practitioners right then!

[Missy45]

4 hours ago, NexumSange said:

But how does account for the asymptomatic who can still pass the virus AND the so called “viral shedding” which apparently happens in both those with symptoms and those without? Confusion abounds for me even when speaking with and reading from medical personnel. 🥴

Well, if that was the case, she would've pass the virus to her children, right? But she didn't...they were healthy and nothing wrong with them. I'm just saying there is proof that the medication can stop the spread as well. It's not a cure.

[ge****]

29 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

Well, if that was the case, she would've pass the virus to her children, right? But she didn't...they were healthy and nothing wrong with them. I'm just saying there is proof that the medication can stop the spread as well. It's not a cure.

No, there is proof that the medication can *reduce the chances* of infection - it's not an absolute.
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Per the NHS website:
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Genital herpes and pregnancy
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Women with herpes before pregnancy can usually expect to have a healthy baby and a vaginal delivery.
If you have genital herpes during pregnancy, there's a risk your baby could develop a serious illness called neonatal herpes.
This can be fatal, but most babies recover with antiviral treatment.
The risk of your baby getting neonatal herpes is low if you have had genital herpes before.
It's higher if you get genital herpes for the first time in pregnancy.
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Genital herpes is caused by a virus called herpes simplex. Once you have the virus, it stays in your body.
It will not spread in your body to cause blisters elsewhere. It stays in a nearby nerve and causes blisters in the same area.
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I suspect the reason a vaginal birth is possible without passing infection on is infection is reliant on skin to skin contact with the infected area - which may not be directly in the vagina or even close to it - therefore the risk of contact between a baby and that area is minimal, and *that* is the reason vaginal births are possible, not medication, although the reduction in chances of infection as a result of medication obviously helps, but does *not* eradicate the risk completely.

[R3drum]

Haven't had a good experience with anyone on here yet. I know how to be safe, I'm up front and very open about hsv. Seems impossible to have fun with anyone who isn't also hsv positive.

[Kruntz]

I had a woman want to have sex with me and do kink, she told me she has HSV2. I basically said I wasn't ready for PIV sex since I don't want to get it from a woman unless she is marrying me and having my kids.

I won't exclude a woman with HSV2 from my life but I also won't have sex with one without a huge commitment. I would be happy to tie her up and vibe her though.

[ge****]

2 hours ago, Kruntz said:

I had a woman want to have sex with me and do kink, she told me she has HSV2. I basically said I wasn't ready for PIV sex since I don't want to get it from a woman unless she is marrying me and having my kids.

I won't exclude a woman with HSV2 from my life but I also won't have sex with one without a huge commitment. I would be happy to tie her up and vibe her though.

And yet, HSV2 is something you can catch just by skin to skin contact with the affected area of their body - not just from PIV or oral - so you'd still be risking catching it if your skin went anywhere near that area.

[Kruntz]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

And yet, HSV2 is something you can catch just by skin to skin contact with the affected area of their body - not just from PIV or oral - so you'd still be risking catching it if your skin went anywhere near that area.

As far as I understand, as long as your hands aren't cut your risk is very low since the virus can't penetrate your hands skin. 

I actually asked her about gloves though, she got kind of mad for some reason. Ignoring an STD it seems like gloves are a good idea.

[ey****]

52 minutes ago, Kruntz said:

I actually asked her about gloves though, she got kind of mad for some reason. Ignoring an STD it seems like gloves are a good idea.

not quite the same thing - but - in the 80s during the HIV outbreak, rubber gloves were used as a kinda form of prejudice.   It was very much implying the other person/people were dirty

like, if you don't believe it's a risk - why would you want to wear gloves anyway?

[Ne****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

And yet, HSV2 is something you can catch just by skin to skin contact with the affected area of their body - not just from PIV or oral - so you'd still be risking catching it if your skin went anywhere near that area.

And yet, people still manage to have fulfilling sex lives without infecting anyone/anyone contracting. Simply touching skin to skin, breakout or no, doesn’t tend to transfer HSV. It’s the friction that works it into a person. It’s weird, heh. Also noted, numbers of people who are never infected despite being with partners who are positive. Weird stuff. Again, though, HSV is not life threatening.