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(TW) *** vs The *** Game


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I myself have enjoyed the ‘*** game,’ but I am also a survivor of sexual assault, and I’m interested to learn about others’ stops to prevent triggers. For example, if you fuxk your little when she is a baby space against her wishes, even though you have full consent to *** her when she is role playing in a ***age space - are you a rapist? Lol the police won’t care, but should I? Do you?


It's an interesting question.

I used to know a submissive who was a survivor of sexual assault (brutal ***) and the only legitimate way that she could get an orgasm was through CNC.

She couldn't even get into a relationship if it wasn't with a brute who took away her control and ***d her.

In terms of a D/s dynamic, though, it would really depend on the specific of the dynamic.

If a Dom ***s their sub when she's in her baby space agains her wishes, even when there is a clear green light for when when she's in her ***age space, then yeah, I can certainly see why that would be frowned upon and triggering.

Would it make the Dom a rapist?

It's a nuanced one. It would really depend on the parameters of the dynamic.


If you have given consent and fully understand when you are in baby/*** space then no. Only if he ignore your safe word . Unfortunately there are no way of preventing triggers if you are into *** and also have trauma. The only comfort is to know the person involving in the game is caring for you. So it’s only the after that count not before or during. Best way is not get into that kind of play.
CNC has 2 “C’s”. That pretty much sums it up.
I had same with my ex . But won't get too far if she start crying. We stop and just hug her after that. Until she calms down and .... she will jump on me after that like nothing happened
Two things here:
1. If a boundary was expressed no sex in baby space then, yeah, that’s ***.
2.I think it points to the burden of a Dom. I think a good Dom would know their sub well enough to know when things need to cease. A sub could be in a place where they can’t understand wants/needs. The right Dom will know and adjust. It’s, unfortunately, a big ask for a Dom, but I think it’s the hope.
I like this forum as I can be blunt and don’t need to be mindful of keeping it safe for work……

If he sticks his dick in you without your explicit consent then yes he’s ***d you. If you consented to oral but he sticks his dick somewhere else, it’s ***. If you said he can fuck you between 9pm and 10pm only but he then fucks you at 11pm, then it’s ***. If you say he can fuck you when you are playing a ***ager but he fucks you when you were playing a baby then it’s ***.

If any person sticks any part of their anatomy inside any of your orifices WITHOUT CONSENT then it is ***.

Yes this includes fingers, it’s known as ‘Digital ***’

If you have consented to play a *** scenario then you would normally discuss the boundaries beforehand. It is not *** until you withdraw consent. However you can withdraw consent at any time. In these cases it’s normal to have a safe word to ensure that the Top knows that you are actually withdrawing consent rather than just playing along.

CNC play takes a lot of communication and a lot of planning and should not be entered into casually. Assumptions or perceived agreements can lead to misunderstandings and these in turn can lead to emotional damage and prison.

I hope that answers your question.
  • 6 months later...

This is why safewords are crucial 

Thank you for the TW note. Very considerate. This isn't a topic for me so have not read fully or comments. But thought just jump in with something I seen earlier today which I thought was really good advice. Not only safewords and ensuring boundaries but a sign to your Dom when want to do that scene. Such as wearing ponytail on side it particular clothing. This ensuring that intense scene is also consented at tbe right time for you
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