Ch**** Posted August 7, 2023 Posted August 7, 2023 Same way you deal with anything in life, if you're fat you with out, if you're poor you learn a trade or get a education, if you're hypersexual you control it. Why do we expect men to be fit, to be stoic, to be driven and ambitious but to control his sexual impulses? No, no that's not possible? Come on now, a dom is about control in all regards, your body, your job, your sub and most importantly you. Learn self control
ca**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 Monday at 08:22 PM, huntington-beach870 said: Same way you deal with anything in life, if you're fat you with out, if you're poor you learn a trade or get a education, if you're hypersexual you control it. Why do we expect men to be fit, to be stoic, to be driven and ambitious but to control his sexual impulses? No, no that's not possible? Come on now, a dom is about control in all regards, your body, your job, your sub and most importantly you. Learn self control You know, this is pretty garbage advice I mean obviously he wants to control it and that’s why he’s asking for advice. This isn’t a topic in which there’s easily accessible advice and part of that is because people like you will jump on the chance to complain about someone reaching out for help in what should be a less judgmental space. As for the question asked I’ve struggled with this too and the way I helped myself control it is to give my sub a phrase she can use to “calm down the mood” just something to say that turned me off a bit so that I wasn’t overwhelming her.
BigPolly Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 On 8/7/2023 at 9:22 PM, ChooseYourStory said: Same way you deal with anything in life, if you're fat you with out, if you're poor you learn a trade or get a education, if you're hypersexual you control it. Why do we expect men to be fit, to be stoic, to be driven and ambitious but to control his sexual impulses? No, no that's not possible? Come on now, a dom is about control in all regards, your body, your job, your sub and most importantly you. Learn self control Hypersexuality is a diagnosed condition, it is also an addiction. You don’t ‘learn self control’ you have to seek out techniques to deal with it. Hence why we’re on here talking about how others have managed it. If it was as simple as ‘learn control’ then this post wouldn’t be needed…..quite like your invalidating comment. You wouldn’t tell an alcoholic to just ‘learn self control’ It’s nothing like being fat (which I am….& I don’t work out) or what status your lifestyle is. These aren’t conditions or addictions. Also this is a condition that effects both Male & Female.
Ch**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 How do you beat your alcoholism? Sure you can seek help no one saying you can't but even after attending aa and the like you go cold turkey and cut out the bad habit. Food is also a addiction but how do you beat it? Self control and working out. You victim types want make everything not your fault, that's why your fat, that's why your broke, that's why your weak. Its not because of some invisible *** or because the boogie man is out to get you. Its not because your a woman or you aren't white, its because your too weak to self reflect, to hold yourself accountable and exercise self control. I've been homeless in my life,
Ch**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 I've been fat, I've been broke, now I'm quite the opposite and do you know why? Because i took accountability, exercised self control and worked for a better life. Don't listen to these losers they are all excuses, why would you take advise from someone on fixing addiction even control their own food addiction. I've been a sex addict as well as many other things, focus on your body, your career, yourself and when you crave sex workout or run, but the biggest thing is self control You wouldn't take banking advise from a homeless person would you? So don't take advise from people who clearly dont even follow their own, these guys don't know self control so they just make excuses why it's not their fault. That's not the way to beat anything, they excel in weakness and you can see it in their bodies let alone the issues that don't come to the surface.
ca**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 4 hours ago, ChooseYourStory said: I've been fat, I've been broke, now I'm quite the opposite and do you know why? Because i took accountability, exercised self control and worked for a better life. Don't listen to these losers they are all excuses, why would you take advise from someone on fixing addiction even control their own food addiction. I've been a sex addict as well as many other things, focus on your body, your career, yourself and when you crave sex workout or run, but the biggest thing is self control You wouldn't take banking advise from a homeless person would you? So don't take advise from people who clearly dont even follow their own, these guys don't know self control so they just make excuses why it's not their fault. That's not the way to beat anything, they excel in weakness and you can see it in their bodies let alone the issues that don't come to the surface. You give me that Andrew Tate alpha male movement vibe, so insecure about yourself that you have to sling insults instead of saying anything useful. Yes I’m fat but I honestly don’t care I’ve come to terms with my weight. Addicted to food? You don’t know shit about me or my life but you still feel the need to talk shit because you’re a scum bag.
BigPolly Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 5 hours ago, ChooseYourStory said: How do you beat your alcoholism? Sure you can seek help no one saying you can't but even after attending aa and the like you go cold turkey and cut out the bad habit. Food is also a addiction but how do you beat it? Self control and working out. You victim types want make everything not your fault, that's why your fat, that's why your broke, that's why your weak. Its not because of some invisible *** or because the boogie man is out to get you. Its not because your a woman or you aren't white, its because your too weak to self reflect, to hold yourself accountable and exercise self control. I've been homeless in my life, No one is claiming to be a victim & no one is denying any fault for their own actions. We are incredibly amazing & we have come together here to discuss something so incredibly important. A discussion which is worth having. Your reply tells me you’re the one who is insecure because you have only offered a simply a pointless unknowledgeable rant & not worth anything. I wish you luck trying to invalidate people to make yourself feel better, it certainly won’t be taken on board here as we’re too fantastic for that schizzle 😊
BigPolly Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 39 minutes ago, cadence123 said: You give me that Andrew Tate alpha male movement vibe, so insecure about yourself that you have to sling insults instead of saying anything useful. Yes I’m fat but I honestly don’t care I’ve come to terms with my weight. Addicted to food? You don’t know shit about me or my life but you still feel the need to talk shit because you’re a scum bag. OMG I’ve just written virtually the same reply without reading your reply …. Which says it all. 😂😂
ca**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 1 hour ago, BigPolly said: OMG I’ve just written virtually the same reply without reading your reply …. Which says it all. 😂😂 They say great minds think alike 😂
Ha**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 Hyper sexuality isn't an addiction, it's a core part of who we are. Losing weight is something you should do regardless, til the weight is no longer a health risk, not to look like you fit a social norm. Exercising to work through a sexual urge is crap advice because you're denying a natural part of yourself. If success makes me jerk like you then I'd rather continue to struggle.
Vi**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 11 hours ago, cadence123 said: You give me that Andrew Tate alpha male movement vibe, so insecure about yourself that you have to sling insults instead of saying anything useful. Yes I’m fat but I honestly don’t care I’ve come to terms with my weight. Addicted to food? You don’t know shit about me or my life but you still feel the need to talk shit because you’re a scum bag. Cadence Bro you made this the most interesting read. Now I too have been well off and been broke. I was 373lbs and I’m now 219lbs. The difference is I know how to control my inner asshole something Chooseyourstory doesn’t know how to do. When Losing a lot of weight your viewpoint changes and the asshole you always were comes to the surface. Some alpha male shit. Unfortunately your patience is very thin. You lost touch with an old friend (food) and now you’re lashing out. I understand the mentality but it seems your hyper sexuality morphed in the attitude you display now. It’s not becoming my guy. Because you were shit on most of your life does not give you the license to trample over others opinions. If you don’t agree state that, but no need to belittle those who don’t align with you. Because people are still people and you might be Captain America but even Steve Rogers gets punched in the face and occasionally loses. Thanos wasn’t always Thanos he became Thanos. Don’t be Thanos. Be Starfox! 🫡
Ch**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 It's ironic that the loudest voices come from those still in thralls of their own addictions, they havent conquered them they've succumb to them and as one put it "accepted it as part of themselves" always consider the source when taking advice. Those yelling the loudest here admittedly are still slaves to their addictions, how are you going to offer advise when you can't even control yourself? As far as me being a a**hole hurtling insults, this same people devolved pretty quickly to the same thing. There's a old saying, throw a rock at a pack of dogs and the one that's hit is the one that yelps. That emotional outcry stems less from anger and more from being the hit dog, they are no more in control than you are and being called out for it makes them furious
Ha**** Posted August 10, 2023 Posted August 10, 2023 Oohhh, so sorry but that's the wrong answer Tater-tot, we were looking for something that's actually helpful n not toxic. I award you no points, thanks for playing. We'll continue the show protecting our community from toxic influences like you.
Ch**** Posted August 10, 2023 Posted August 10, 2023 Translation : I'm too weak to control my impulses and I'll continue to suggest others do too, because if someone is capable of doing so it might shatter my fragile world view that my problems are beyond my control and i can't have that. I can't be ***d to take accountability for my life choices, so I'll try to drag others down with me rather than fix myself
Ha**** Posted August 10, 2023 Posted August 10, 2023 Uh, no, Hyper Sexuality is not an impulse control issue. Everyone is trying to label everything as some kind of illness, be it physical or mental. This heightened sense of sexuality does not need to be controlled but celebrated with those who understand it. Nothing to fix in that department. Do we all have stuff we need to work, of course. This isn't one of those things. As long as it doesn't interfere with work or being around people in a normal setting then there is nothing to fix. Some who can control their urges at work n has to go masturbate in the bathroom on the clock, that's a problem. At a bar, with friends n you just randomly say you bet one of your female friends there bangs really well, that's a problem. But none of us should feel bad about having more sexual thoughts n gearing convo to a sexual place than what's normal to other people. This is a 24/7 kink for us, not a sickness n this is the community to have your kinks known, not shamed. Shame on you for trying to make others feel they have to hide
Vi**** Posted August 10, 2023 Posted August 10, 2023 1 hour ago, lakeland539213 said: Uh, no, Hyper Sexuality is not an impulse control issue. Everyone is trying to label everything as some kind of illness, be it physical or mental. This heightened sense of sexuality does not need to be controlled but celebrated with those who understand it. Nothing to fix in that department. Do we all have stuff we need to work, of course. This isn't one of those things. As long as it doesn't interfere with work or being around people in a normal setting then there is nothing to fix. Some who can control their urges at work n has to go masturbate in the bathroom on the clock, that's a problem. At a bar, with friends n you just randomly say you bet one of your female friends there bangs really well, that's a problem. But none of us should feel bad about having more sexual thoughts n gearing convo to a sexual place than what's normal to other people. This is a 24/7 kink for us, not a sickness n this is the community to have your kinks known, not shamed. Shame on you for trying to make others feel they have to hide 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
ph**** Posted August 12, 2023 Posted August 12, 2023 Think of the pursuit as part of your sexual experience. For me the thought of getting my sub obsessed with me excites me just as much as running my c**k down the back of their throat
Mr**** Posted December 17, 2023 Posted December 17, 2023 Yes there must be a proper communication without communication nothing is going to be able to be satisfied trust me I just got out of them horrible relationship she was extra extra hyper hyper Sexual. She would not talk about it I couldn't get two words out of her a lot of times I had to figure something out to you know make it hit but without communication it's going to be a long hard road until one of you quits usually it's the one who's not being communicated to the one not communicating thinks everything is fine it starts to make them so she was more than just that though a narcissist and a psychotic in fact neurotic so I couldn't do anything with it and I couldn't pretend like you know the communication was okay non-communication is Then arguing
fr**** Posted March 4 Posted March 4 Interesting topic, one that I want to be part of. You see, my hyper sexuality is a side effect of my epilepsy and brain tumor diagnosis. So I have to wind my brain down from that high. Meditation, yoga, and cognitive behavioral therapy helped me a great deal. But I still sometimes struggle. I don’t want to ruin more potential dynamics because they think I’m just after sex and nothing more. I’m not seeking a kink dispenser. I’m very much after a D/s and M/s dynamic and relationship. You know that deep connection, intimacy and communication, and everything else that super vital in any dynamic. I’m glad I’m not alone though. But I have one question for all you out there that are hyper sexual as well, do you sometimes have problems reaching a climax that is satisfactory? I do. I can be turn on for days, but still run into this issue here and there, it’s like my brain is working but my lady bits ain’t. Hard to explain. Hope you understand my question.
ra**** Posted March 8 Posted March 8 I think trauma-informed kinksters with the intention to play within a safe space and with continuous conversations and established boundaries helps frame it easier. I have been told I'm like the Thanos of spmi (severe persistent mental illness) collecting stigmatized dx like the infinity stones. The comment was kind of funny tbh but still hurt quite a bit. I'm primarily a masochistic sub but I've had numerous sadistic dom(mes) that ran with it and didn't actually check in to make sure I wasn't in fawn response or just too horny to think clearly irt safety measures. I'm also on the aro+ace spectrums and I've had to tune into partners that won't try to change that part of me in their desire for sensual and sexual relations. I've also been frequently pressured into performing dominant roles by hypersexual subs that expected me to reenact the *** their childhood ***rs did for them *I expressed large discomfort in this role* I felt more like a live-in sex therapist to them and not a partner whose feelings and boundaries were being respected. It's about all parties being involved in the planning phases, especially when bdsm aspects are involved, and not setting unfair expectations of yourself or others involved in the play.
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