Angry men messaging. Not normal. .

[Je****]

So, I get an inbox by someone I will only describe as "Bthrill".

Not his full username. 

 

This man viewed me twice, spanked me, sent me the following message and then blocked me. 

 

"Your profile says you're searching for men. Turn this feature off if you don't want men messaging you. Are you thick or something? Your profile is full of passive aggressive anger, which sucks the life out of anyone reading it. You need a lot of help."

 

 

So for a start, anyone reading my profile can see it says NO MEN, repeatedly, that I seek a woman with my partner and on the rare occasion *I* find a guy attractive, I will approach first. 

Repeatedly it says no men. 

So this man went out of his way to spank me, whether a view or quick kink, to then see I don't want men approaching me, and decided to DM me to do nothing but insult me. I am entitled to say what I want on my profile just as much as the next person.  To call me thick when I state abaout 3 or 4 times, NO MEN, and then accuses me of passive aggressive anger that sucks the life of anyone. Sure okay, his opinion, but why feel the need to spank, then send me that and then block me.

Afraid of a response? Just to be dramatic? Is HE the one full of life draining anger?

 

Why do people do this? It's not the first message I have had from a guy being abusive. Admittedly, no women, have ever messaged me in this way. 

What is so wrong with the contents of my profile, which I have been forced to write due to the last year especially, of men NOT reading, messaging me smut, fantasies, abuse, dick pics and whatever else? Then someone claims to have read it, and insults me based on my personal/couple choices?

What am I missing here? 

Yes my profile may sound "angry" but simply because I am sick of the shite in my inbox. This man had absolutely pushed me to the point that I don't even want to approach any man from here on out. Is this what this site is full of?

I know not all men are like this, but ones who show interest and see I wish for a female, either has issues with himself or he's that damn agry that he just can't get anywhere.

I'd never ever inbox someone to insult their profile bios, life choices or whatever else, so Please Mr Bthrill, don't fecking do it to anyone else.

Also I don't need any help. I am set in life with all I need, good health (to a degree), a wonderful partner, and many friends across this site. So I think he's reflecting his own need for "help" onto me. Sigh.

 

Over. 

[littlemiss37]

this sounds like a guy I spoke to when I first joined here. ppl shouldn't b messaging if they have that attitude and they should read ur profile xx

[Je****]

Just now, littlemiss37 said:

this sounds like a guy I spoke to when I first joined here. ppl shouldn't b messaging if they have that attitude and they should read ur profile xx

My profile says what it does now, because of the years of non stop abuse or just not reading. 

He can think what he wants I guess, but the fact he felt the need to DM just to insult me, and the cowardice of just blocking so I couldn't even respond. Right after a spank too. Baffles me.

My only wish is for people to read, and be kind IF entering someone's inbox. 

[br****]

He’s clearly a dick. They exist everywhere unfortunately….

[Je****]

1 minute ago, bromley489 said:

He’s clearly a dick. They exist everywhere unfortunately….

Sure profile may sound angry, but in reality., I am just fed up. But the main issue is the intent to just swipe and block. Not a nice man at all. 

[ar****]

Your profile says you're into men.
Your text says no men.
You have your filters set up so that men can message you.
.
Seems to me that he's either not handling (mixed) signals well (perhaps due to Autism, ND or otherwise), or he's in a bad place (incel maybe?) and blames you as part of the problem.
.
Note that I'm not defending anyone, just offering possible explanations.

[li****]

Definitely sounds a bit of a dick.
I suppose he means that your profile has that your into men on it for the options. Although your profile text quite clearly states no men.
But a dick thing to do either way and clearly an unpleasant individual

[ar****]

6 minutes ago, arnhem961 said:

Your profile says you're into men.
Your text says no men.
You have your filters set up so that men can message you.
.
Seems to me that he's either not handling (mixed) signals well (perhaps due to Autism, ND or otherwise), or he's in a bad place (incel maybe?) and blames you as part of the problem.
.
Note that I'm not defending anyone, just offering possible explanations.

Also, he spanking you may be his way of saying "shame on you". And blocking people is a really effective way to remove possible (mental health) triggers from one's own app usage experience. Imagine him being confronted with your "bad" profile each time you post. Blocking makes that go away.
.
It's more of a testament to his experience, than to you as a person. You shouldn't take offense to it.

[Je****]

2 minutes ago, arnhem961 said:

Your profile says you're into men.
Your text says no men.
You have your filters set up so that men can message you.
.
Seems to me that he's either not handling (mixed) signals well (perhaps due to Autism, ND or otherwise), or he's in a bad place (incel maybe?) and blames you as part of the problem.
.
Note that I'm not defending anyone, just offering possible explanations.

I am someone who likes men, but under very extreme circumstances. I seek women. However I won't disallow a connection with a guy if he is part of a couple. And as mentioned, should I find particular compatibility with a guy I am no stranger to messaging him first.

Regardless, why should I close off all men, no matter the interest levels, whilst I seek women. 

Should a guy view me, I will see it, and then I could potentially message him. 

It says NO MEN over and over due to the excessive and quite frankly, ridiculous messages I get. So it states for them not to message. I prefer to do that, however my primary focus is ladies.

I also have a variety of MH disorders and conditions etc, but I would absolutely never dream of spanking someone, then dming them just to insult, and then block. 

Plus I make a lot of male friends, so should they wish to dm me to chat or advice etc, then my filters allow them in. They won't be pushed out because of ignorant/rude people. 

[ar****]

1 minute ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

I am someone who likes men, but under very extreme circumstances. I seek women. However I won't disallow a connection with a guy if he is part of a couple. And as mentioned, should I find particular compatibility with a guy I am no stranger to messaging him first.

Regardless, why should I close off all men, no matter the interest levels, whilst I seek women. 

Should a guy view me, I will see it, and then I could potentially message him. 

It says NO MEN over and over due to the excessive and quite frankly, ridiculous messages I get. So it states for them not to message. I prefer to do that, however my primary focus is ladies.

I also have a variety of MH disorders and conditions etc, but I would absolutely never dream of spanking someone, then dming them just to insult, and then block. 

Plus I make a lot of male friends, so should they wish to dm me to chat or advice etc, then my filters allow them in. They won't be pushed out because of ignorant/rude people. 

Yeah, I can understand. But he probably can't, which is why he may have shortcircuited in his brain.

[InfectiousDesire]

It's similar to getting an attitude if a woman doesn't reply to a message. Sure I want every woman to respond even if it's to say sorry not interested or I'm too busy to really get to know someone. However, no one owes us these replies. We can be 1 in 3500. Why cop an attitude it does no one any good and makes the sender look bad. Boys with Attitudes make me shake my head and laugh at the same time.

[Je****]

1 minute ago, arnhem961 said:

Also, he spanking you may be his way of saying "shame on you". And blocking people is a really effective way to remove possible (mental health) triggers from one's own app usage experience. Imagine him being confronted with your "bad" profile each time you post. Blocking makes that go away.
.
It's more of a testament to his experience, than to you as a person. You shouldn't take offense to it.

Nah I don't believe in this. He messaged me, insulting, THEN blocked me. Why even risk a trigger to himself in that case? He set out intentionally in my opinion. If someone triggers me, last thing I do is message them. 

And spanks on here are ways to grasp attention, not to say shame on someone/thing. 

This is the first I have seen him, and most likely vice versa (or he'd of messaged way sooner than this), so I doubt my actual existence convenienced him or would continue to do so. Point for me is, Don't randomly insult people simply because they don't want Male/Female etc attention. 

[Je****]

2 minutes ago, SirMark- said:

It's similar to getting an attitude if a woman doesn't reply to a message. Sure I want every woman to respond even if it's to say sorry not interested or I'm too busy to really get to know someone. However, no one owes us these replies. We can be 1 in 3500. Why cop an attitude it does no one any good and makes the sender look bad. Boys with Attitudes make me shake my head and laugh at the same time.

I will say, I don't tar all men with the same brush, I have met some wonderful men on here, partner included. 

But just no need to dm someone to insult them. Had he of blocked me outright, I wouldn't have cared, that was his decision, his business. He made it my business by slagging me off in my dms. 

I am glad I know some fantastic men, but this one, sadly I pity. Just wasn't a pleasant experience. 

[ar****]

5 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

Nah I don't believe in this. He messaged me, insulting, THEN blocked me. Why even risk a trigger to himself in that case? He set out intentionally in my opinion. If someone triggers me, last thing I do is message them. 

And spanks on here are ways to grasp attention, not to say shame on someone/thing. 

This is the first I have seen him, and most likely vice versa (or he'd of messaged way sooner than this), so I doubt my actual existence convenienced him or would continue to do so. Point for me is, Don't randomly insult people simply because they don't want Male/Female etc attention. 

In his mind, he may have given you feedback on how you come across on your profile. He might even think you could be willing to scrap the "into men" thing, and bring "order" in this chaos. But either way, he is not helped with seeing your profile so he blocked.
.
I know in Autism and other social issues people may have, signals are interpreted wrongly. For example, I made a joke to someone once and added a 😂. They replied, asking me why I was sad. (the emoji has tears). And to me personally, slapping someone IS "punishment" in essence. You can call it "spank" and say it comes from loving kink, but the action may be the same for him.

[ar****]

Oh, and insult is never good. But some people don't know how to behave or word things properly. And that does come across as insulting.

[Je****]

Ironically, I have just had a dm from a man, who has not read my profile., asking me for snapchat. The funny part? He's liked this post. 

 

It says NO MEN. I honestly feel these people are trolling me now. I don't think anyone can actually be that stupid. I am getting aggrivated now, by this, how does anyone bring a solution to blocking men out without closing my dms to men (as I said I have male friends who contact me).

[do****]

Don't let rotten apples spoil the bunch. This community has a lot of unwell people and you sometimes must give people a pass because of it. What does not kills you, makes you stronger. This just makes you more resilient. Block and continue to have you fun is my advice. Being unwell is sometimes contagious, don't let the bug get you

[Deleted Member]

So I have a slightly *evil* way of handling this. I explicitly say in my profile that if cis straight men hit me up for a hookup I will redound with a picture of my dom’s dick. Lol it doesn’t really stop it, but it makes much more amusing.

[Deleted Member]

Read my message on your couples' profile and try your best to ignore the ignorant scum of the world. We can't have blissful happiness without some setbacks to lead us there.

You get plenty of negative souls blocking your path, but eventually, you'll find compassionate souls that can bring you emotional and mental salvation! Please enjoy your weekend with your other and have the best of fun like can offer!

[Deleted Member]

Like= life

[Ar****]

35 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

I honestly feel these people are trolling me now. I don't think anyone can actually be that stupid.

Dude's a wanker. Sadly some people really are this stupid, and/or arrogant. Wish I had a solution for you - we could always organise a ritual? 😉

[Da****]

Who cares if her account is set up that she likes men or that she allows men to DM the reality is that her profile says no men and men should respect that and this guy's just being a whiny little douchebag who didn't get his way and didn't read her profile before he spanked her because that's what guys do they spank then they read the profile and get all butthurt when they read no men

[Th****]

You've not done anything wrong and there's nothing wrong with your profile.

2 hours ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

"Your profile says you're searching for men. Turn this feature off if you don't want men messaging you. Are you thick or something? Your profile is full of passive aggressive anger, which sucks the life out of anyone reading it. You need a lot of help."

My guess with his phrasing and basic deductive reasoning would be that he likely viewed and spanked through quick kink and doing so only spanked off your photo. Then he went directly and viewed your profile since when you spank, the site immediately directs you to the next person on quick kink. He was possibly a bit embarrassed or something and his fragile man feels got all upset and because he's a shitty human felt entitled to then abuse you. 

I do feel like there is a possibility some may be trolling you, the example of the person asking for snap, especially when you make these sorts of posts openly for all to see. My suggestion to potentially mitigate that a bit would be to shoot the same thing you posted here to a couple friends instead, especially the already confirmed lovely men friends you know. I can think of a couple/few I'd suggest. Feel free to shoot me a dm to bounce things around with as well, I honestly don't mind. 

 

His behavior was shitty, abusive and inappropriate. Full stop. What is *also* shitty behavior is when men who might not behave in the same specific manner themselves make excuses for and reason away when other men have shit behavior instead of calling it out for what it is. Calling them "boys" or "unwell" or claiming some hypothetical unconfirmed mental illness or neurodivergence. No. They are men, just like you behaving like shitty men. They aren't "boys" as this is an 18+ site and much of this behavior comes from those well beyond that age. Mental illness and ND doesn't cause someone to be a shitty human. They're just a shitty human who also happens to have a mental illness or ND. 

[Ch****]

I have actually just had a message saying why have I got pics of my tits out if I don't talk sexual. 

 

He said am I here to discuss books and philosophy.  

 

I said not everyone is here for secual things. I also told him actually yes I belong to a book group on here and we're discussing the annette marie books at the moment. 

[Je****]

1 minute ago, Charms said:

I have actually just had a message saying why have I got pics of my tits out if I don't talk sexual.

It's this kind of behaviour that pisses me off. 

People also forget bdsm isn't always about sex. 

 

And guess what, women can get their tits out without/and don't need men assuming their for sexual reasons. Pisses me right off.