Falling for you…

[Se****]

Three little words, such HUGE potential. ***less or ***ful, depending on how and when they’re said and what the follow through may be.

I fall easily and I absolutely mean it EVERY time it happens. As much as I no longer believe in the fairy tale, happy every after I’m still an old romantic at heart. The fact that I fall easily may well make me seem fickle to some and for that I apologise. I don’t believe I’m fickle, more that I have an irrepressible hope that one day I will meet the right person. One day someone will care enough to hold on and fight for me.

But those words, when they’re said to me ***y terrify me because I KNOW what comes next and I have yet to be proven wrong (that is not a challenge).

The latest instalment of me being told those words lasted a whole 24 hours. 24 hours in which I actually believed, well, hoped, that this time would be different. Alas, I was once again proven to be somewhat psychic.

The thing I don’t get is why? Why bother to tell someone that when it is of no benefit to you? Why allow someone to feel a glimmer of hope? Why run away? I am genuinely bamboozled.

You cannot tell someone in one breath that you care about them and in the next cut all contact. Am I to believe that people are genuinely that callous? Do people get a kick out of this kind of behaviour?

I can 100% guarantee if I tell you I’m falling for you, if I tell you I care, if I tell you you mean something to me that is my honesty and vulnerability showing. If I say it I mean it and it means I’m not walking or running away at the first opportunity I get.

Perhaps I need to make feelings a hard limit, maybe that is the way forward for me, because I sure as hell can’t take anymore heartache. It’s too much to bear. 

Love,

X

[un****]

you can’t kill feelings good lord knows i’ve tried been to the bottom of a bottle more times then i’d personally like to admit and it never works i don’t attach often but when i do i attach fast now i don’t say i do but after it happens in about 72 hrs they’re gone so i get it it sucks sometimes its ghosting other times its conversation at night blocked come morning it never gets easier you just eventually learn to deal with it not that it hurts any less when it does happen hell it happened last weekend still sucks but no use in moping about it

[An****]

I feel every word of this in my soul🥺🥺

[Deleted Member]

Damn this hit hood for me bc fr I love so hard and heavy and always get hurt

[cum4meSlowly]

As per usual well written and thought provoking. Sorry you are going through this hope you find your knight in shining armour and it’s not too tarnished.

[Se****]

31 minutes ago, cum4meSlowly said:

As per usual well written and thought provoking. Sorry you are going through this hope you find your knight in shining armour and it’s not too tarnished.

Oh I have no trouble with it being tarnished. As long as he thinks I’m good enough x

[Deleted Member]

I don’t think this behavior comes from callousness, in fact I think it’s pretty common that people say those 3 words with a hope that it cements a new relationship together, whether they’re ready for it or not. We’re all optimists when being with someone new and it’s our nature to want the other person to feel as strong a connection as we do.

Too often the words are said out of insecurity and not derived from true feelings, but more from wishful thinking and hopefulness. When it comes from that space, in that insecurity, if things don’t go swimmingly right up front, a rapid exit Is the cowards way out, but it’s made all too easy by the anonymity and lack of transparency that digital relationships have. It’s not right, and it’s not kind, but a ghosting exit is pretty common way out when own insecurities are showing. The trick is remembering it’s not you. It’s them. Those who ghost are to blame, not you.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Tremaine_XLX said:

Damn this hit hood for me bc fr I love so hard and heavy and always get hurt

Home

[Eastbourneguy]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. We're not all like that, but unfortunately there is still too many out there

[FreddieJobbs]

I’m sorry for what you’re going through! Don’t lose any hope, I’m pretty sure there’s someone out there for you!!

[Bathblonde]

Feelings huh absolute head fuckers but alas you cant help them. Im much the same i fall easily but although i seem to have a knack of getting hurt I wouldn’t change a thing. Ive had some right fuck ups but each one made me a little stronger and in each fuck up there were some beautiful moments. One of my favourite quotes “loving you was like holding the sun, beautiful but i couldnt keep you” 

 

[Se****]

16 minutes ago, Bathblonde said:

Feelings huh absolute head fuckers but alas you cant help them. Im much the same i fall easily but although i seem to have a knack of getting hurt I wouldn’t change a thing. Ive had some right fuck ups but each one made me a little stronger and in each fuck up there were some beautiful moments. One of my favourite quotes “loving you was like holding the sun, beautiful but i couldnt keep you” 

 

Ooh, I like that. Thank you. 
 

onward and upward for us both x

[Deleted Member]

Honestly, people throw around words like "love" as easily as they call a bad cold "flu". Sometimes it's genuine, sometimes it's just lovebombing, other times it's manipulation, mindfuckery or just plain and simple confusion. Lust and friendship can be mistaken for love sometimes. *** of being alone can make us say those words to the wrong person. There are million of reasons for "I love you" to mean nothing at all. So, what do we do? We stop listening with our ears and keep our eyes wide open. Effort and consistency tell a lot more than all the romantic waffle in the world about someone's true feelings. Do they make themselves *** around you? Protect you? Stick to their word? Remember the little things about you? Have eyes for nobody else in the room? Ultimately you will just "know". You will feel calm and safe and content around them, and they will be the person you want there when something good or bad happens. And how do we know whether what WE feel is love? Would you give up something important to you for them? Can you imagine waking up to their ageing face every morning of your life, and feel happy about it? Would you give anything it took to make them happy? When you think of a life without them, does it feel like someone turned out all the lights? Granted we won't feel these things straight away and they should happen as we get to know them but these are all good signs. Hugs xx

 

[MasterDarcy1979]

Honestly? Manipulation.

Are you a brainless toy at the mercy of these men who through the L word around like a football?

No. Absolutely not.

How long, generally, do you know these men for?

I'm as romantic and as much of a gentleman as they come, but there's no way that a person can fall in love with another person if they've only know one another for less than a couple of months, at the very least.

If you know a Dom for a week or so and he's telling you that he loves you, it's a red flag.

Just be patient and put yourself put there.

Edited October 29, 2023 by MasterDarcy1979

[Se****]

Your words resonate deeply, and I can feel the *** and disillusionment in your experience. It’s so hard when someone says, “I’m falling for you,” only for their actions to later contradict those words. The hope that those words spark feels so real in the moment, like a promise of something lasting, and it’s crushing when that promise falls apart.

I’ve come to believe that what many of us think of as "true love" may not exist in the way we idealize it. More often, what we feel at the beginning of a connection is heavily influenced by dopamine—the chemical that floods our brains when we experience something new and exciting. Dopamine creates that euphoria, that craving to be with someone, and can make the early stages of a relationship feel like magic. But dopamine thrives on novelty, and when that initial high fades, what remains is often just stubbornness—a choice to stay and fight for something despite the loss of that spark.

When someone says, “I’m falling for you,” it may be that they’re caught up in that dopamine-driven high, genuinely believing it in the moment. But without the follow-through, without the willingness to stay and work when the thrill fades, those words become hollow. It’s not that you’re wrong to hope or believe—it’s that the kind of connection you’re looking for requires something deeper than what dopamine can sustain. It requires actions, consistency, and the mutual choice to stay even when it’s not easy.

I have falling in love as one of my hard limits, so I understand why you want to make feelings a hard limit—it’s self-preservation, a way to protect yourself from the kind of heartbreak you’ve endured. But I don’t think it means you’ve given up on connection entirely. It means you’re setting boundaries to guard your heart until someone comes along who can match your honesty and commitment, not just in words but in actions.

It’s okay to be cautious. Maybe what’s most important is finding someone who not only sparks that dopamine-fueled excitement but also shows up when it fades—someone who proves they’re willing to stay and fight for you. And while it may feel rare, I still believe that’s worth holding out for, even if love, as we once imagined it, turns out to be more stubbornness than fairy tale.