Does anyone actually reply?

[Alistair1974]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

- "Hey", "Hi", etc is not and never will be a message

 

 

16 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

ultimately, take messages YOU receive as you get them, but don't project how others should receive them

That's exactly what you're doing. You've stated this is an impregnable rule of thumb.

I'm pointing out that it's wrong. Massively so.

[Deleted Member]

Lol...I've been blocked just for looking at someone's profile. Question is why put your self on display on a dating site? To then get offended if someone visits or messages you! Makes no sense at all, they unfortunately have the issue not someone saying hello

[Wo****]

"Out of thousands of people they could have messaged" 

In about 99% of messages i get that are the "hey" type i see that the amount of messages sent by the sender that day is often a prolific number and pretty much always their profile is blank. 

I very rarely ignore messages, i use the autoreply of no thanks a fair bit.

Out of all the convervastions i have had on here not one conversation that originated from the message ive described didnt end up as the sender basically wanting wank fodder. So forgive me if i am a little disinterested in one word messages.

[Wo****]

3 minutes ago, Chiana said:

Lol...I've been blocked just for looking at someone's profile. Question is why put your self on display on a dating site? To then get offended if someone visits or messages you! Makes no sense at all, they unfortunately have the issue not someone saying hello

Its not a dating site.

Its a community.

Im not offended by being messaged but it doesnt mean i have to reply to every one.

My profile is there to be looked at, i enjoy chatting but if you blatantly havent read my profile and message something that im obviously not interested in then im likely to just ignore the message.

[BigPolly]

There must’ve been a reason for someone to message ie they like the look of the person, they like their profile, they have the same fetishes, they live close by, they have the same wallpaper in the background of their pic etc so therefore there is a conversation starter in itself. To message someone with ‘Hi’ & nothing else is lazy, gives no indication as to why they are messaging & in my book is close to being rude. I make it clear in my profile that any message as such will be ignored....which is ironically often ignored.

Even in a bar, a conversation would start ‘Hi, how are you, my names fred etc etc’ if someone wants an indication that they’ve been noticed then there are ‘spanks’ 

sorry we may’ve hijacked this status & gone off on our own subject. Anyway with reference to the original status...Hello, welcome & patience is key 😁

[ey****]

14 minutes ago, Alistair1974 said:

I'm pointing out that it's wrong. Massively so.

ok, I will rephrase

"Hi, hey,hello" is unlikely to get a response from someone you are trying to impress

[Deleted Member]

I get it if it is just a single word and nothing else, and they have no profile picture and zero effort in their profile description. Then yes instant block. The ones that bother me are the ones who will visit you multiple times a day and never message you so they get blocked. So I think there is a big difference. Also some people are just incredibly shy and just have trouble starting a conversation

[ey****]

1 minute ago, Chiana said:

Also some people are just incredibly shy and just have trouble starting a conversation

they are - and the sad truth of this is by one means, or another, this is on them to work on.   

there are a whole bunch of free resources around helping to contact people on sites, boosting your esteem, overcoming shyness,  etc. and while none are an exact science (none of us can control other people's reactions) there are  things out there to at least try to help.

[Deleted Member]

That one person could be the one who you are looking for, and to get messages is better than getting none. 

[Wo****]

1 minute ago, Chiana said:

That one person could be the one who you are looking for

True but then you have to reply to every message?

 

2 minutes ago, Chiana said:

 to get messages is better than getting none. 

I couldn't disagree more.

I'd take no messages over one word, I'll thought out, mass sent messages every day.

[Deleted Member]

You can always turn them off then

[Alistair1974]

Such closed minded negativity ... on a site like this. Never ceases to amaze me. Where one person sees a doorway and an opening, another sees something so negative. Like I said. I'm glad I see it my way. 

You've people on here saying "Hi" is close to being rude. It's laughable. Massively warped negativity. Projection which borders on the scary. Labeling people lazy, and telling shy people that "this is on them to work on it". It's not dissimilar to telling depressed people to just cheer up. People saying they'd prefer no message rather than an introductory salutation which in 2 letters, says "I've looked at your profile and I've found you interesting enough to attempt to catch your eye and initiate contact".  

Such closed minded negativity .. on a site like this. Never ceases to amaze me. 

OP: I would say this thread is indicative of the site in general. Good luck matey. I'm off to watch the game. 

[Deleted Member]

Anyone can say hello to me, I will speak to them. Weather or not we will continue talking depends on many things, but I will find out what they want

[Wo****]

3 minutes ago, Alistair1974 said:

People saying they'd prefer no message rather than an introductory salutation which in 2 letters, says "I've looked at your profile and I've found you interesting enough to attempt to catch your eye and initiate contact".  

You're assuming it means that. 

It can, and does, also mean "I've messaged 30 plus women today, you're one of them."

I'm not against people reaching out but as I said before, the vast majority of these "hi" messages go only one way.

 

[Deleted Member]

And that's your assumption of men in general. Wow!

[Wo****]

7 minutes ago, Chiana said:

And that's your assumption of men in general. Wow!

Whose? And what assumption?

[Deleted Member]

"It can and also does mean I have messaged 30+ women today"  err no. Maybe if you are an 18 year old

[Wo****]

Just now, Chiana said:

"It can and also does mean I have messaged 30+ women today"  err no. Maybe if you are an 18 year old

I have had a lot of messages that just say hi, when i click on their profile, its blank. The amount of messages sent that day from them often exceeds 30 plus, the messages received are far less. Now given that their initial message is hi, thats a lot of messages.

So far, in my experience, every one word message i have got has turned out that way. As in the contact was made to ask for pics, or a meet. Im not against either of these but straight off? Not a chance.

As for it being my assumption of men in general, please dont assume you know what i feel. I have had more than enough reason to loathe men, i dont. 

Most men arent dicks, its just some are.

[Deleted Member]

Not saying that some men aren't, had a few contact me. But it just seems like you are taking offence to getting messages. We all get ones we don't like. Men get ones from girls who want nothing more than *** on here.. Using delete then block then report, problem solved. Sometimes it's funny watching them make a fool of themselves

[Wo****]

1 minute ago, Chiana said:

Not saying that some men aren't, had a few contact me. But it just seems like you are taking offence to getting messages. We all get ones we don't like. Men get ones from girls who want nothing more than *** on here.. Using delete then block then report, problem solved. Sometimes it's funny watching them make a fool of themselves

Nowhere have i said i was offended.

I do use delete and block. Thats my point. As for report, why report them? For what?

The only one making assumptions here is you. 

Im not offended by these messages, i use block where needed or the no thanks response, and i dont think all men are the same.

[Deleted Member]

Maybe offended is the wrong word, but you made the point about one word messages as a problem, to which people were responding on the lines of it a narrow outlook and it's not always some idiot saying hello...the poor guy asked a genuine question at the start, and next he was getting a whole list of unspoken rules put at him... We were just making a point of how it's a limited outlook

[Wo****]

They're not unspoken rules though, they're opinions. Its discussion...

 

[BigPolly]

13 minutes ago, Chiana said:

next he was getting a whole list of unspoken rules put at him... We were just making a point of how it's a limited outlook

Not sure they’re unspoken rules, more ‘opinions’ & an insight to what some people don’t want when getting into a conversation.

Limited...or simply guided? 

[BigPolly]

4 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

They're not unspoken rules though, they're opinions. Its discussion...

 

Shit, sorry....I didn’t see this when I wrote mine 

[Wo****]

Just now, BigPolly said:

Shit, sorry....I didn’t see this when I wrote mine 

Get out of my head, woman! 😆