Jump to content

Looking for advice


Recommended Posts

I was asked to be a dom recently and I never looked for anything like this but I took the role. It didn't last very long and I don't know where I went wrong. I need input on what I could do better or where to start. I like this but she asked me to do this and now I want more.
that’s exactly how i got into it as well, never really considered myself a dom but my coworkers call me an alpha so idk, anyway i would check out ddlg on google and kind of feel out what limits you are willing to go to

Books are long and cost ***, but there are some good ones out there:

  • "The Loving Dominant" by Warren
  • "SM 101: A Realistic Introduction" by Wiseman
  • "The New Topping Book" by Easton and Hardy
  • "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" by Miller & Devon

If your location is accurate, you're not too far from Cincinnati, OH. That's a big enough city that it probably has educational opportunities and dungeons available to an aspiring Dom. You might be able to search for "munches," classes, and play parties in that city on this website.

D/s is a vast territory. Even within the narrow subset of "Daddy Dom / little girl" there are a dozen distinct dynamics. Talk with your partner, try to be really honest about what you like and don't like, and about what she likes and doesn't like.

If you're both into something dangerous (including something like bondage), I encourage you to get some training: in-person, through a video course, or at least through written materials you find on the internet. There are right and wrong ways to do things to a person, and the wrong ways can do harm.

Best of success to you!

It’s not necessarily about ‘going wrong’ it’s simply about discovering and learning. You’re here and that’s a great starting point. Staying on the site, reading the forums and the magazine articles will help. Understanding that you will never stop evolving and learning on this journey so don’t try and take everything in straight away. The more you learn the more your confidence will grow. Be patient and trust your instincts as there are many scammers waiting to take advantage. Things go wrong and we all make mistakes or mess up from time to time but don’t let those times put you off. Learn from real people and not porn as that will give you a false illusion 😊
Welcome to the temptress that is being a Dom! I would really encourage you to find out what type of Dom you truly are. Daddy/Dom, Pleasure Dom, Soft Dom... do your homework and when with your next partner, ask them what a Dom looks like in their mind. Is it because they read 50 shades and they think that's all there is? Or did an experience happen that led to their curiosity? I'm sure that with time, you'll discover who you are in this role. Remember, it's about trust exchange and a privilege to be in that position of power. Respect it and it will Respect you.
My advice is research using the web dont believe one source and understand there are no 'true doms/subs' there are only people who enjoy power exchanges.

Learn to negotiate, and if you want more try searching out your local community and goto meetings, ask questions.

Goto conferences if you are in the us attend lessons etc.
alot of communication with the other person, soft limits, hard limits, fantasies, but also think about your limits see if they are the same. safe words and after care aswel. what kind of Dom do you feel you are? theres no wrong or right being a Dom its more make a mental connection and grow together, watch her reactions, her body
  • Create New...