How To Get A Man To Go Down On A Female

[Chevy24grl]

My man tells me can't go down on a woman since watching a movie of a baby being born. My that's my fetish and how can u get him to go down?

[Mo****]

Spread your legs wide open in front of him and start fingerings yourself....tell him to come to you and lick your fingers....start there.

[MrNifty]

I don't know that's very sad.... That's like one of my favorite things to do like in sex like almost period like I f****** love going down on women. I love the taste I love how it gets wet. I like to look of it actually after I've fisted women in the past. Cuz realistically I know how elastic a vagina is.

His deal sounds more irrational to me and that sounds like more psychiatric than anything else so I don't know how to help you I'm sorry... 😬

[bl****]

I’m a switch and find going down on a woman utterly utterly addictive whether I’m Dom or sub, I think it works in both roles but I actually find if anything I’m the one trying to persuade women to let me go down on them! I wonder if men are reticent because they aren’t entirely sure what to do?! I don’t really know what to suggest, I absolutely adore it so it’s hard to put myself in the mindset

[ka****]

Fine someone Who will🤪

[Ad****]

Dear lord the comment section is killing me 😂 Have you tried honest communication with him about how much you would like for him to go down on you and if there’s a way y’all can ease into it so that this *** of his can dissipate. Or maybe there is an another reason he doesn’t want to go down and if he feels comfortable opening up about it. It may allow you two to work through this.

[GB****]

Idk, but you should probably talk to him about your needs. Maybe even start with “baby steps” (sorry couldn’t think of another way to put it). Maybe start with him petting you,. You need to find out what it was about what he saw that caused him to feel that way, then try to address that issue. Of course there is another possibility, and please don’t get upset but it is a possibility. Maybe you aren’t as fresh below as he needs and it’s a turn off and he’s trying to be polite.

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like an excuse than a valid reason?

[Ch****]

At the risk of being a wet blanket, are all of these replies based on the fact that this is a woman trying to "convince" a man to engage in a kink? (Or perhaps that many don't think of oral as a kink?) You don't try to coerce anyone into anything. You express your needs/wants and work at it together. We just can't help but wonder if the reaction here might be different if it were "I want to engage in CNC play but my wife isn't into it...how do I get her to do it?"...and the responses might be about enthusiastic consent, trauma triggers and the like. We think that maybe the responses here are from the bias that men SHOULD go down on women and vice versa...but maybe for some (your man, perhaps) that isn't the case. We hope that he might overcome his aversion, for your pleasure, but be prepared for a hard decision should he not.

[do****]

Suggest therapy. It could be and sounds like a psychological issue. It's not rare for men to have a problem after witnessing child birth. That's a traumatic and amazing time all at once. It's a lot to process. One of the reasons why I salute women and thank the Lord I'm a man because I couldn't have a baby.

[Deleted Member]

Communication. If it’s just a hard limit for him then respect that decision. Then you just decide how important it is to you.

[Deleted Member]

A ton of consent issues in these comments but that has already been addressed. Convincing him of the benefits of going down on you should be where you start the conversation!

[Du****]

There’s some terrible advice here and I’m disappointed in the community. Fet is better than this.
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OP, either he’s genuinely traumatised by seeing the childbirth process, or he’s making excuses. If the latter, either he’s embarrassed that he doesn’t know how to perform oral, or he just doesn’t want to. All three possibilities have a solution, but the first step is to find out which you’re dealing with. He needs to be honest. Let’s hope he can manage that - then go from there.

[De****]

I got 2 rules in the bedroom.
1) Nothing up my butt. That just ain't my bag. No hate in me it just ain't in me.
2) Ladies Cum First! I try and embrace my roots. Southern Hospitality and whatnot. So after some lengthy foreplay to get my partner really revved up, I'm going Downtown. You gotta change your mind frame. I developed a love for it. Anything you put into your mouth repeatedly you will develop a taste for it. Nobody took that first shot of whiskey, that first cigarette or dip, or smoked crack for the first time and thought, Man, I love that burnt plastic taste or that stale ashtray taste or that burning liquid going down your esophagus. Yet as we continue to put them in our mouth we developed a taste for them. It grew into a Thirst or a Hunger for them. I hunger for the taste of a woman's great divide. I live to make her cum in my mouth. He may not enjoy it at first but if he will put his personal issues aside and simply do it for your enjoyment over time he will develop a taste for the glory in your loins.

[CopperKnob]

Flip this situation around, how would those in the comment section feel if a male was posting on 'how to get a women to go down' on them.
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I am 95% certain that there would be a whole host of people calling the OP out re consent and suggested SA.
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OP, you're a 42yr old woman. Talk to 'your man', explain your wants and why. Let him talk to you about his issues and see if you can both work through it.
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As adults we don't make people do something that they don't want to do. I expect to see this kind of comment on another site, not here on Fet.
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This is no different than me posting that I want to flog someone who doesn't want me to only for me to hit the forum to ask how I could "persuade" them 🙄

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Flip this situation around, how would those in the comment section feel if a male was posting on 'how to get a women to go down' on them.
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I am 95% certain that there would be a whole host of people calling the OP out re consent and suggested SA.
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OP, you're a 42yr old woman. Talk to 'your man', explain your wants and why. Let him talk to you about his issues and see if you can both work through it.
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As adults we don't make people do something that they don't want to do. I expect to see this kind of comment on another site, not here on Fet.
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This is no different than me posting that I want to flog someone who doesn't want me to only for me to hit the forum to ask how I could "persuade" them 🙄

This! Applauded.

[MrNifty]

*put two hands*

[MrNifty]

Apologies I'm trying to do talk-to-text and Google is being very frustrating about it

I'm at the rethink how articulate I am because like lately Google has been like screwing my talk to text up royally and I feel like I do not have an accent in the lightest but according to Google I have some like deep country Cajun accent or some s***.... 😤

Google talk to text and kiss my bubbly ass...

[Mi****]

29 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Flip this situation around, how would those in the comment section feel if a male was posting on 'how to get a women to go down' on them.
.
I am 95% certain that there would be a whole host of people calling the OP out re consent and suggested SA.
.
OP, you're a 42yr old woman. Talk to 'your man', explain your wants and why. Let him talk to you about his issues and see if you can both work through it.
.
As adults we don't make people do something that they don't want to do. I expect to see this kind of comment on another site, not here on Fet.
.
This is no different than me posting that I want to flog someone who doesn't want me to only for me to hit the forum to ask how I could "persuade" them 🙄

This. You have to communicate. Is he interested in changing his association between given oral and the video he saw? Would he be interested in trying some incremental steps like kissing over panties? What about meeting with a therapist?

I also have a few context questions…
How long have you been together?
How recently did he see the video?
Had he previously enjoyed giving oral to you? Or if he saw the video before you met, did he enjoy giving oral to other women?

[Du****]

15 minutes ago, MrNifty said:

Apologies I'm trying to do talk-to-text and Google is being very frustrating about it

I'm at the rethink how articulate I am because like lately Google has been like screwing my talk to text up royally and I feel like I do not have an accent in the lightest but according to Google I have some like deep country Cajun accent or some s***.... 😤

Google talk to text and kiss my bubbly ass...

I do kind of want to hear you say something now though! 🤭

[MrNifty]

1 minute ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I do kind of want to hear you say something now though! 🤭

Lol I'm born and raised in Metairie. Metairie people notoriously have like Yankee sort of sounding accents it's nothing special I assure you. I have a quirky way of talking only because of the vocabulary that I choose to use other than that it's pretty standard. Google's just being a b****

[Nite_oral86]

That's crazy you didn't even know that was possible cuz see I'm the type of guy that You're not the first thing I'll do you know is go down on them eat them out you know play with get my toys and with their clit for a little bit you know make them squirt but you know before I even let them even touch me you know I prefer to make sure the woman gets pleased very very well before you know they give me head so I don't really know

[MrNifty]

1 minute ago, Nite_oral86 said:

That's crazy you didn't even know that was possible cuz see I'm the type of guy that You're not the first thing I'll do you know is go down on them eat them out you know play with get my toys and with their clit for a little bit you know make them squirt but you know before I even let them even touch me you know I prefer to make sure the woman gets pleased very very well before you know they give me head so I don't really know

My dude, I'm the same freaking way. Like girls got to be like very very very insistent for that not to be the first like thing I go to do. And I'm I'm switchy so like if she's insistent enough like I'll concede but typically speaking like I want to know what it tastes like even if I tasted it before because I really like that taste you know? 😛😋🫠😅

[Se****]

I’m hoping OP that you simply used a poor choice of words in your post however I’m concerned that you didn’t.

 Convincing someone to do something against their will isn’t ok in the slightest - it is sexual *** at best.

 Consent works both ways and honestly if you have to try to “***” or “convince” someone to do something why would you even want them to do said thing? (I am speaking as a person who is the recipient of *** on a personal level almost daily).

 If it is a huge issue for you then you need to make a decision whether or not it’s something you can live without. Although I’d also want to discuss it with him to ensure I fully understood his reasons and see if it was something he enjoyed previously and whether there was any part of him that wanted to resume the activity (in a VERY neutral way).

[gift_of_beli]

2 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

That guy just blocked me for “judging him”. I mean, I read what he wrote and decided I didn’t want to get to know him any better so, yes, that was a judgment I guess 🤷‍♀️

If I may dip into a movie quote with a little paraphrasing.....he has been weighed...he has been measured and has been found wanting.

 

Alongside the sage comments the only other thing I would add from my own somewhat ill informed mistakes....in a relationship if something is really important to you....its something you can't do without...but you convince yourself that it doesn't matter or that you don't need it....compromising yourself unfortunately doesn't end in happiness. Might be a little deep - but a lesson I learnt from my own life experience. Talk about things..be open...be honest...be true to yourself and the rest most likely will take care of itself.