What do you know about alpha-sub's?

[Co****]

15 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

Obviously. 

I won't speak for the OP but I wasn't even thinking of anything sexual. BDSM isn't inherently sexual and it's really frustrating to me how most I see on this site seem to view it as a style of sex or something. 

That was more or less my point. Op had phrased it in a way that non-sexual, and I think people seem to have somewhat misinterpreted that as a degree of autonomy that's not really there.

I'm saying that, just like tools are used in the bedroom, the alphasub is a tool for the Dom in the exact same manner beyond the bedroom.

[The_Rev_]

That's what I understand it to mean. There's a sense too in which the alpha sub is the most trusted of his subs, with well-earned autonomy within agreed bounds and the responsibility that goes with that. A Dom would expect more of his alpha sub and she would expect more severe treatment were she to exceed her authority or misuse her power over the other subs.

[au****]

Thanks for that

[Ne****]

My Mistress has 5 subs and I’m her trusted Alpha sub. I’m a bottom only but still hold the Alpha position because I’m only sub to her and it’s purely sexual.

[Vo****]

1 hour ago, femkitten said:

Very true and thank you for commenting. I was an alpha-sub for an Owner who had up to 30 other subs at a time and running a business. She simply needed someone She trusted to help and I lived for the smile on Her face and providing Her the ability to rest after a long day knowing everything was completed that day.

Wow very impressive you have great skills to handle that many that comes from great training i applaud whoever had the privilege of training you 

[femkitten]

14 hours ago, MasterGreed said:

I might add that an alpha sub should also act as a role model for the less experienced subs. Did your experience reflect this?

Yes it did, very much so. My first Mistress and Owner was also my girlfriend. My desire to please and be a good girl paired with my romantic relationship made me an obvious choice for Her alpha-sub. I was held to very high standard of almost perfection. It was a lot of work but worth it knowing how much I was giving to my Owner by handling the things She asked of me.

[si****]

I'm not what your looking for but found your open honesty very refreshing and hope you find what your looking for

[MizzAzure]

Please correct any misinformation I have. I want to make sure I understand.

So alpha-sub is not a title that you give yourself. Your Dominant or Master asks you to fill that role. The alpha-sub will participate in any activity that helps the Dominant or Master organize, control, train, etc. the other subs who do not have this role. Might the alpha-subs’ activities include topping another sub to benefit the Dominant/Master? It’s NOT necessarily a permanent role. And it’s not necessarily hierarchical, although we might assume the alpha-sub has a longer or closer relationship with the Dominant/Master given the importance of the role.

[Co****]

7 hours ago, MizzAzure said:

Please correct any misinformation I have. I want to make sure I understand.

So alpha-sub is not a title that you give yourself. Your Dominant or Master asks you to fill that role. The alpha-sub will participate in any activity that helps the Dominant or Master organize, control, train, etc. the other subs who do not have this role. Might the alpha-subs’ activities include topping another sub to benefit the Dominant/Master? It’s NOT necessarily a permanent role. And it’s not necessarily hierarchical, although we might assume the alpha-sub has a longer or closer relationship with the Dominant/Master given the importance of the role.

More or less. The alphasub's job is, very literally, whatever the Dom decides it is within the dynamic. This can include topping, but more frequently (from what I've seen) is limited to administering punishment in the bedroom, so that the Dom can focus on and enjoy a specific activity that demands more attention. Though topping can also be given as a reward, depending on the dynamic.


And the alphasub is inherently a hierarchical role, simply because humans naturally form hierarchies, and this is just the natural conclusion of a explicitly vesting someone with power over another.

Though this doesn't necessarily imply that the rest of the subs develop their own hierarchical structure among themselves, only that (both by necessity and of natural development) the apha stands higher than the other subs within the dynamic

[Wy****]

Others may disagree, but I identify with the role as a switch, not as only a sub. My Dom and I have had other subs that we have cared for and I serve as a sort of lieutenant for him. I am in charge of the others if he is not available. But in contrast to what some of the other posters have laid out, my Dom takes an active role in training and mentoring me as a Dominant. I have also had the privilege to meet other experienced alpha subs that have this arrangement as well.

[Ja****]

Huh... so that's the technical term.. In my head the term "Head Priestess" was always used... I'm glad to be corrected on the subject, at least now I won't embarrass myself!

[Leisa]

No such thing.

[La****]

I tend to disagree. I would say my "primary" sub who assists with the others.

[Bl****]

26 minutes ago, LaDominaReina said:

I tend to disagree. I would say my "primary" sub who assists with the others.

Does it make such a difference whether you call the sub that represents you in front of other subs primary, alpha, 1st girl, lieutenant or what have you? Isn't the effect and result just the same? IMHO call the baby whatever you wish that is absolutely your prerogative but it doesn't change the result.

[Ja****]

2 minutes ago, BlackFlogger said:

Does it make such a difference whether you call the sub that represents you in front of other subs primary, alpha, 1st girl, lieutenant or what have you? Isn't the effect and result just the same? IMHO call the baby whatever you wish that is absolutely your prerogative but it doesn't change the result.

The more or less my thoughts, the term will change from dynamic to dynamic. But have a catch all for it is useful to

[Bl****]

6 minutes ago, JamesWalnut said:

The more or less my thoughts, the term will change from dynamic to dynamic. But have a catch all for it is useful to

Absolutely! Each dynamic is an individual "***" and each can apply to itself what the people in it may wish to. It's not my intention to press anything upon anybody! As they say: each to its own! What gives me the creeps is when people in the lifestyle tell others what is right or wrong. No one has the right to do so. They can and shall always speak about their own dynamic. Anything else is crossing a line.

[Do****]

5 minutes ago, BlackFlogger said:

Absolutely! Each dynamic is an individual "***" and each can apply to itself what the people in it may wish to. It's not my intention to press anything upon anybody! As they say: each to its own! What gives me the creeps is when people in the lifestyle tell others what is right or wrong. No one has the right to do so. They can and shall always speak about their own dynamic. Anything else is crossing a line.

The part where others tell you what's right or wrong? Absolutely correct! I've had people disagree with how I do things in the past, and I've simply told them it's none of their business how I conduct MY business. I am SO glad to see someone else that feels the same way! Every dynamic is different from every OTHER dynamic... anyone that says differently does not TRULY understand. I don't even treat every subbive had the same way: it is COMPLETELY based on the interaction and relationship between Dom and sub.

[Th****]

39 minutes ago, BlackFlogger said:

Absolutely! Each dynamic is an individual "***" and each can apply to itself what the people in it may wish to. It's not my intention to press anything upon anybody! As they say: each to its own! What gives me the creeps is when people in the lifestyle tell others what is right or wrong. No one has the right to do so. They can and shall always speak about their own dynamic. Anything else is crossing a line.

I mean... there definitely *are* things that are right and wrong. I don't like the idea of *never* calling people out on things but there's definitely also way too much of it that isn't necessary or helpful. 

[Bl****]

@ThaliaV , I see and understand your point and there is *** within the lifestyle. Clearly. Just discussing this issue should be done under the respective topic. @femkitten addressed a different issue here. Don't get me wrong, please, I'm all for addressing your issue. But I believe the serious topic you raised deserves a separate discussion.

[Th****]

12 hours ago, BlackFlogger said:

@ThaliaV , I see and understand your point and there is *** within the lifestyle. Clearly. Just discussing this issue should be done under the respective topic. @femkitten addressed a different issue here. Don't get me wrong, please, I'm all for addressing your issue. But I believe the serious topic you raised deserves a separate discussion.

We have to remember that there a *very* new and inexperienced people reading these threads with the things we say and how we say them. My remark wasn't only in response or as a counterpoint to what you said but for their benefit as well. 

Edited April 12 by ThaliaV

[Bl****]

@ThaliaV, point taken! You're absolutely right to keep newbies in mind! My bad!

[Vo****]

Newbies will always come and go they will also do what ever they want no matter how good ore bad advice is and this is what has changed bdsm just like any other relationship it will continue to change from when ever we all started the more mainstream things become the more those things start to pull away from the core beginning of it and thats just something anyone that has bin in the lifestyle for years has to except that its no longer what it was back then

[Na****]

I seem to have wandered into the mature part of fet :D thank you all for the insights! From a newbie I guess 😅