I value consent, communication, and trust above all in a relationship. As a dom, I lean towards a more strict and controlling dynamic, preferring to express my dominance through firm yet consensual actions such as hair pulling, throat squeezing, spanking, and pinning against the wall, among other things. Equally important to me is the psychological aspect of dominance. Dominating someone’s mind is a powerful way to deepen submission. I consider aftercare an essential practice. It is a time for us to reconnect, reflect on the experience, and make sure we both feel safe and cared for. This balance of control and care, the physical and the psychological, defines my approach to being a dom. If you are to be my sub, I will do my best to care for you. I am flexible and willing to adapt to what you want. I want to make sure you enjoy this and feel comfortable throughout.

To support that safety and comfort, I use the colour system during scenes. Green means you are comfortable, enjoying yourself, and want things to continue or even intensify. Yellow tells me you are approaching a limit, and it is time to slow down, adjust, or check in with you. Red means stop completely. No hesitation, no questions. Everything ends immediately, and we shift focus to care and reassurance. This system is not just a formality for me. It is a clear and trusted way for you to have a voice, even when you are surrendering control. Being a submissive is so much more than just being teased. It is about trust, vulnerability, and finding strength in letting go at the right moments. Submission means choosing to yield, to follow, and to place your trust in someone to lead you. It is about allowing yourself to explore your desires and boundaries in a safe and guided way.

A submissive listens, follows guidance, and embraces the structure or rules set by their dom. Sometimes it means showing obedience or completing tasks that rein*** the dynamic. Other times, it is about being honest and open about your needs and feelings. The teasing might be enjoyable, but it is only one part of submission. The real power of being a submissive lies in your willingness to give yourself fully to the dynamic, knowing you are safe, cared for, and valued.

BDSM Play Partner18 to 80 years ● 500km around Australia Crestmead

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Slaves are submissives who totally give all control over to their Master/Mistress. The main difference from other submissives is that they hand over control of all their life, 24/7 to their top. There can be pre-agreed exceptions to this rule. For the purposes of work for example but by vast majority a slave hands over all decision making to their Dom. BDSM slaves are happiest when serving a Dominant. They tend to not have limits with their Master/Mistress. This is because their dynamic is very close. The Dominant knows his/her slaves limits and keeps to them. This is a very unique relationship and is one to build up to. Slaves start out as submissives first and after time become a slave. Slaves, even more so than submissives, tend to wear some kind of symbol of their BDSM slave status. This can be a collar or a piece of jewellery that symbolises their belonging to their Dominant. Slaves give complete trust to their Dominant, freeing their minds from worry and responsibility. It is a very unique roll and one that only certain submissives can take on.
A submissive likes to be controlled, relishing someone else taking responsibility away from them. Some are subservient and submit willingly. Others are brattier and put up a fight. There are also submissives who will fight sometimes and be subservient at others. Submission can be confined to the bedroom or only taken out to BDSM and Fetish clubs and dungeons or it can used in all kinds of day to day situations. Some submissives chose to be subservient in all their roles, others take on submission to escape the responsibilities of work and family life. Submissives let someone else take control. They may have a list of rules to abide by set by their Dom/Domme. If rules are broken then there will be punishments too as well as rewards for good behaviour. Some submissives love to be naughty and punished, others want to be good and strive to do their best and be rewarded. Others will want a mix of the two. It isn’t all about humiliation and degradation for a submissive, unlike other bottoms they are more concerned with being subservient and giving over control to another person. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }
Dominants like to be in control. Unlike BDSM tops or sadists, their need is not particularly to inflict pain but to be domineering and have control over another person. Some Doms/Dommes expect to be obeyed immediately and without questions. Others enjoy being tested, and having to show their dominance over the submissive who’s being bratty. There is no one way to be a Dominant. Dom/Dommes can also be sadists, tops, masters or riggers. Dominant is a huge category of BDSM made up of many very different people who all have one thing in common, their need to be in control. The D in the term BDSM stands for Dominance, therefore Dominants are an instrumental part of BDSM. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }